Chapter 42 Is He Going To Survive
Lara's pov
God.
"What do you say? Accident ?What kind of accident?"
"A car accident. Around 1am this morning. His car hit a trunk on the highway."
Oh God. Oh God no.
How is he, please? Where are you now? Which hospital? Questions kept dropping from my mouth. "Is he... Please don't lie to me, is he?”
"Yes. But his condition is critical now. He will have to undergo a surgery. We found your contact information in his wallet as his emergency contact. You need to come to the hospital immediately."
I was in shock, I couldn't believe it.
" I'm calling from Dubem Hospital. Main building, the last floor ICU."
“I will be there in a few minutes please, just ensure he's fine”.
I hung up the call and stood up, I didn't know what exactly I was going to do. My brain wasn't working perfectly.
Damien had an accident.
A critical condition.
Surgery.
This shouldn't be. It wasn't real.
I looked at Ethan. He was fast asleep. He didn't know everything was falling apart.
I had to wake him up but he didn't move.
I shook him gently until he gently opened his eyes slowly."We need to go somewhere." I said. We are going to the hospital now.
He sat up immediately. “Why do we need to go to the hospital?”.
Your dad had an accident, we are going to check up on him.
Ahhhh.."Is he going to die?" His voice was so small. He was about to cry.
The doctor is taking care of him. We need to go see him now.
My hands were shaking so bad I could barely button Ethan's shirt. He was crying the whole time.
Damien left the parking lot with a heavy heart. I know that. Maybe that was what caused the accident. He didn't concentrate. I just hope nothing is wrong with him.
Oh God. What did I do?
My driving was so fast to the hospital. I was just thinking about negative things. What if he dies? What if those words he said to me were his last words? God please…
I gripped the steering wheel so tight my hands hurt.
Please don't die…..
When we got to the hospital, I parked the car, didn't even check if I packed in a proper way. I just parked the car and ran inside with Ethan.
The receptionist looked up. "How can I help you?"
“My.. My husband is here-Damien Otto, I yearned. He was brought in with a car accident. Where is he?"
She typed something on her computer. "Third floor ICU. Take the elevator on your left”.
I ran to the elevator with Ethan beside me. The elevator was just too slow for my liking at the moment. I couldn't wait for it. I pressed the button more than five times before it finally came up.
We got to the third floor and I ran to the nurses station.
"My husband-Damien Otto. I'm Lara Montgomery. They called me."
The nurse nodded. "Follow me."
She took us to a private waiting room. It was a small one before she finally said, "The doctor will be you shortly”. And she left.
I wasn't getting myself.I sat down. Stood up. Sat down again.
The door opened and a doctor came. He was still wearing scrubs and there was blood on them.
My stomach dropped.
"Mrs. Montgomery?"
“Yes, my husband.. how is he? Where is he? Doctor, talk to me.
“Madam, you will have to calm down. I'm Dr. Chen and your husband have been in the surgical room for the past five hours.”
Ahhhhhh…
“Your husband was severely injured, he has a severe head trauma and internal bleeding. We've stopped the bleeding but his brain is still swelling.”
Ehhhhhh, Doctor "Is he going to survive?"
We will try our best. He's currently in a coma now. We induced him so the brain swelling could reduce, we may need to operate on him again”.
"Can I see my husband?"
"Yes. But only for a few minutes. He's in the ICU."
Ethan, “you have to stay here, I said You can't go in there. I’ll be right back”.
The doctor led me to the room, everywhere was smelling like bleach and medicine.
“This is the room”, he said as he stopped at a door. Don't touch any of the equipment please and don't stress him as well.
I nodded and entered the room. I wanted to shout and cry.
Damien was lying in the bed with tubes everywhere. A big tube in his mouth connected to a machine that was breathing for him. IV lines in both arms. Wires connected to monitors that were beeping.
His face was swollen and bruised. ThHe looked like someone else.
The accident changed him. He didn't look like the one I married. He looked like someone else. God.
I walked closer and sat in the chair beside his bed.
"Damien?"
He couldn't answer me. I took his hand. It was warm but he didn't squeeze back.
“Please look at me. I'm here for you, Damien is here for you”.
The only sound I heard was the ventilator.
"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for everything I said. Please don't leave us. Please."
But he didn't hear me.
A nurse entered. "I'm sorry, but you need to leave now. We need to check his vitals."
I stood up but didn't want to leave him.
"Can I come back please?"
“Maybe.. we'll let you know”.
I walked out and went back to where Ethan was. He asked me several questions but I just assured him that he is fine.
“The doctors are helping him”, I said.
A lot of people started arriving. Marcus, his assistant. Another man who was his business partner and his lawyer also arrived.
They all looked at me like someone willing to ask a question but nobody asked me anything.
We all just sat there and waited.
Marcus brought coffee while waiting for Damien to wake up. I didn't take it. Ethan already slept off in the chair next to me.
I just kept thinking about everything. I caused it. If I didn't left house. Maybe he wouldn't had an accident. “What did I do?” I sobbed.
What if I never see him awake again? What if he dies?
I thought about lot of things. I thought about the time he saw me on a curb that year and carried me. How he never asked for anything in return.
How he was there for me in all aspects. How he cared for me and how he looked at me like I was the most important thing in the world.
And I threw everything away.
And now I might lose him forever.
Six hours after the surgery, Dr. Chen came back.
I stood up so fast I almost knocked over the coffee cup on the table.
"How is he?How was the surgery ?”
Yeah, it was fine… He still need some rest.
"Can I see him again?"
"Yes. You can go in now."
I grabbed Ethan so he could follow me. The doctor refused. “Children's aren't allowed in ICU,” he said.
He wanted to cry but I begged him. I entered the room. He looked the same maybe a little less swollen .
I sat in the chair and took his hand again.
"Ethan's outside. He wanted to come in but they won't let him. He's so scared. He keeps asking if you're going to die."
The machines kept beeping.
"I don't know what to do. I don't know how to fix this."
A nurse came in with a plastic bag.
"These are Mr. Otto's belongings from the car. His wallet, phone, and this letter."
She handed me the bag and left.
I checked inside the bag. His phone screen was shattered and there was a white envelope inside with Damien's handwriting. My name was written on it.
The envelope was crumpled. There was blood on one corner.
I was scared to open it.
Lara,
I don't know if you'll read this. You might probably throw it away or maybe you won't care.But I need to write it anyway.
I've loved you for ten years. Since the day you dropped your keys in that lobby and smiled at me when I picked them up.
I know I lied to you. I know I should have been more plain from the beginning. About your father. About that night and also about everything.
But I was scared. I was so scared of losing you that I did the exact thing that made me lose you anyway.
If I could go back, I would do things in a different way. I would tell you everything from the start. But that's not possible.I can only tell you now.
Your father asked me to protect you. And I said yes. Not because of money. Not because I owed him anything. But because it was you.
That night at the hotel, I didn't know you would be there. When I saw you, I should have just walked away. But I didn't. Because I'd been thinking about you for three years and there you were.
I'm not proud of what happened that night. But I'm not sorry either. Because that night gave me Ethan.
Being Ethan's father has been the greatest blessing of my life. Every time he calls me Daddy, every time he hugs me, every time he looks at me, I feel like the luckiest man in the whole world.
He's not my blood. But he's my son. In every way that matters.
If you really want me gone, I'll go. I'll sign whatever papers you want. I'll stay away.
But please let me see Ethan sometimes. Please don't take him away completely. He's my whole world.
I know you don't trust me anymore. I know I broke that. But I'm going to spend the rest of my life trying to earn it back.
Even if you never love me again, even if you never forgive me, I'll still love you. Until the day I die.
Tell Ethan his daddy loves him more than anything in the world.
Always,
Damien.
God, the letter broke me.I cried bitterly. My whole body was shaking.
He drove this last night before he started driving around 1am and he crashed.
Just because of me.
This was my fault. All of it.
A nurse came in. "Are you okay?”
I was unable to answer. I just kept weeping.
She left and came back with tissues. I took them but they didn't help.
I looked at Damien lying there with all those tubes and machines.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please wake up. Please don't leave us."
But he didn't move. Just the machines breathing for him.
I went back to the waiting room. Marcus stood up when he saw my face. He cleared his throat and said. “Can I take you home?”
No..
"You should get some rest."
"I'm not leaving him."
I sat down on the couch. Ethan sat next to me. We are staying here until he wakes up.
I pulled out my phone and texted Margaret.
Cancel the apartment. I'm not moving.
She replied immediately. What happened?
Damien's in the hospital. He had a car accident and he is in a critical condition.
Oh my God. I'm so sorry. Do you need anything?
No. Just cancel the apartment.
Done.
I put my phone away and just sat there. Ethan was already asleep. Marcus gave me a blanket and pillow. He told me the hospital said I can use the room as long as I need.
"Thank you." I said.
He left and I covered Ethan with a blanket.
Then I just sat there in the dark and thought about everything.
If he died, I would never forgive myself.
Never.
That evening, they let me go back to see him.
I sat in the chair next to Damien's bed and held his hand.
"I read your letter Damien."
The machines kept beeping.
"You shouldn't have been driving that late. You should have been sleeping. But you were out there because of me."
I wiped my eyes.
Ethan is so scared right now. He kept asking when you were going to be awake. I don't know what to tell him. So please wake up for me.
I squeezed his hand.
"I'm sorry for everything I said. I'm sorry for leaving. I'm sorry for being so angry."
"If you wake up, I promise I'll try. I'll really try to trust you again. To forgive you and to make this work."
"Just please don't leave us. We need you. Ethan needs you."
"I need you."
But he didn't respond. Didn't squeeze my hand back. Nothing.
Just the machines and the beeping and the sound of the ventilator breathing for him.
I stayed until the nurse made me leave.
Late that night, I was sitting in the waiting room.
Marcus had gone home. Everyone else had left.
It was I and Ethan that's fast asleep.
A nurse came out. "You can go sit with him if you want. Visiting hours are over but we're making an exception."
"Thank you."
I carried Ethan down the hall. There was a couch outside Damien's room. I laid Ethan down there and covered him with a blanket.
Then I went inside and sat next to Damien again.
I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew, alarms were going off.
Loud beeping. A machine making a horrible sound.
I jumped up.
"Damien?"
His body was jerking. The heart monitor was showing crazy lines.
“Somebody help”
Nurses ran in. Then Dr. Chen came running down the hall.
"What's happening? What's wrong with him?"
Someone pushed me out of the room.
"You need to wait outside."
"No! That's my husband!"
"Ma'am, please."
They closed the door, I pressed my face against the window. God.
Dr. Chen was shouting orders. Nurses were doing things I couldn't understand. The monitors were going crazy.
Then I heard it.
"Charging to 200. Clear!"
Oh God. Oh God no.
They were using the defibrillator on him.
His body jumped.
The monitor still showed the wrong rhythm.
His body jumped again.
"Please. Please. Please."
"One more time. Clear!"
The sound of the machine. His body jerking.
Then...
The monitor changed.
A steady beep. A normal rhythm.
The nurses stepped back. Dr. Chen checked something.
I couldn't move.
Was he okay? Was he alive?
Dr. Chen turned and saw me at the window.
He walked over and opened the door.
His face was just blank.
"Is he...?"
"His heart stopped. But we got it back."
I almost collapsed. He caught my arm.
"But we need to take him back to surgery. Now. The swelling in his brain is worse. If we don't operate immediately, he won't survive the night."
No. No no no.
"Do whatever you need to do. Just save him. Please."
He nodded and they started wheeling Damien's bed out of the room.
I watched them take him away.
And I realized that I might never see him alive again.