SHE

SHE
“Your father thinks we are married.” I say lightly once we are both in the room, the door firmly locked behind us. The rest of dinner was a blur, I didn’t speak again, even when Richard congratulated me for my marriage and asked too many questions about a ceremony that didn’t happen.
“Who proposed? How was the wedding like? When did it happen?”
I had no response to any of the questions, instead I had my own questions, thankfully his father had gotten bored with no fighting, he got up and bid us a good night, although I think he means the opposite, I got up as soon as his back was turned to us, despite Richard’s plea to catch up.
 Abed had followed me silently, like he had been throughout dinner, I didn’t mind that, but here, now, he could not remain silent.
 “Your brother too. Greta too in fact.” I say recalling how her eyes fell on the ring, and what she said, then I thought she was simply mistaken, but everyone could not be simply mistaken at once.
 “How can I not know that I am married? How am I the last to know that we are married?” I ask, my voice shaking as our eyes meet.
I find myself staring into a storm, there is regret and so much exhaustion, he seemed to have resigned, and for some reason that makes me angrier.
 “Answer me, are we married?”
He flinched, my heart reached out to him, I curl my palms to stop me from going to him, something was happening and I intended to get to the bottom of it.
 “Yes, yes we are.” 
The first words he has said in a while, he whispers them, my throat runs dry as a million questions run through my mind.
 “What? How? I think I would know if I got married, marriage is a big deal, I would know if I wore a dress, held a bouquet and marched down the aisle and exchanged rings and promises.”
 My eyes fall on my fingers, and then on his own, sure enough there is a matching ring set on his finger, one that I hadn’t seen before or noticed. I gasp, eyes wide as the implication seeps slowly inside my head.
 “We didn’t do all of that... the contract you signed that night, wasn’t the only thing you signed.”
Another gasp slips out of me, this time even more shocked, more betrayed, confused, I take a step back from him, hurt swirling around my guts, shaking my head, I deny the very existence of the words he just said to me.
 “No, no, no...”
He runs a hand through his hair, as if he was the one that was hurt by his actions, as if he was the one that was lied to.
 “You have been lying in my face the entire time?” my voice broke at the last part, my throat closing up.
“I didn’t think of it as lying...”
“IT DOESN’T MATTTER WHAT YOU THOGHT OF IT!” I scream, the back of my eyes prickling with unshed tears.
 He took a step forward, his eyes looking lost, but I take a step back. Hurt quickly fill his eyes, but I can’t see past my own hurt to think about his own. 
“I am sorry, I am so sorry.”
I scoff, “You are sorry? I told you how much I detest lies and liars, I cannot stand a person who has lied to me, if you can hurt me, and lie to me like my parents, then why do I trust you?”
 He blinked hard and fast, his eyes going everywhere,
“You lied to my father too, you said you were in love with me, that is a lie.”
I let out a laugh that is humourless,
 “I never lied.” I say before opening the door, Richard stood right there, a shit eating grin on his face.
“You finally did it, I thought you never could be a fuck up, I win.”
Irritated and angry beyond limits, I push past him and down the stairs, somewhere behind me I hear Abed calling me, but I was at his car before he could get to me, and as I drove away, I see him in the rear view mirror, running after the car, I push the accelerator until he was a speck of dust in the distance.
 Alone with my thoughts and rage, I realize I was crying, slamming my fist against the steering wheel, a scream tore out of me. He deceived me, I thought he was the most honest man to walk the earth, I thought I could trust him, even when I told him I hated lies, he never told me the truth.
 My phone ringing startles me so hard that I brake in the middle of the road, thankfully there are no cars behind me, and when I see the phone screen, it’s Abed calling. I throw the phone on the passenger seat as I continue to drive. I have no idea where I am going, my house was burnt to crisps, I can’t return to his house, the rolls to a stop.
 The phone wouldn’t stop ringing so I block his number, remembering he could track me with the car, I climb out of it and find myself a taxi, I have no idea where I am supposed to go, so I ask the driver to drop me off at the closet hotel.
 My phone rings non stop again, an unknown caller, I know it has to be Abed calling, I was not stupid, I pay for two nights, I have no idea how long I would be staying, but I should have thought of a plan before two nights were up.
 I collapse against the bed face first, my brain finally remember the night I signed the contract, the marriage certificate was next, even through my hazy memories, I remember he had already signed his part, the part requesting my signature was blank.
 Curling into myself, I cry even harder, my phone kept ringing non stop, until I switch it off, my ring catches my eye, the one I thought was even better than a collar, the one that hasn’t left my finger since I put it on, an evidence of his lies. I slip it off, letting it fall to the bed.
 The tears still fall even after a while, why did i have to go and fall in love with him? That was why it hurt so bad, if I wasn’t in love with him, I would have been fine.
 As I drift off to sleep I realize, this was the first night I have been alone in a while, and even with all of this hurt, I missed him terribly, and that was bad since I know we can never be together ever again.