HE

HE
 “You aren’t even married?” My father’s condescending voice when he finds me outside, watching Rachel drive away from me. My heart thumping so loud in my chest everyone should be able to hear it.
 “No, not that, you are married but the bride has no idea is more like it.” He laughs even louder this time, spilling his cruelty for everyone to hear.
I run a frustrated hand through my hair, worry ran through my veins, she sped away in anger, a volatile emotion, she could crash or end up in a ditch somewhere, I have to find her. Turning around and going inside to fetch my phone, my father follows me, pretending I don’t see him, I focus on finding my phone.
“You are my son after all, I just didn’t expect you would pull a fast one about this, especially when you were full of talk.” he laughs again.
The only thing I can think about is her alone on the road, by this time of the night, in a speeding car and clearly not thinking clearly. Guilt racked my entire body, squeezing my chest so hard that it hurt to breath. I felt so much guilt earlier that I could not say anything, and when she left..
 “You should come back to working for me now, I would take you in as long as you ask nicely.”
 I let out a breath, ignoring him was getting harder, because each time he spoke, I wanted to ram my fist into his face. I find my phone, turning on the app, I find her easily, the car was still maintaining speed, and she was just heading straight, I had no expectations to find her going home, but my heart sank even further knowing that she had no where to go, I had to find her.
 Side stepping my father, I leave the room, heading for his own car, unfortunately, the man followed me.
“All that talk of finding someone who loves you, and you end up fucking it up, and you say we aren’t similar.”
“We are not, we will never be.” I respond through gritted teeth.
His mouth lifts and forms a cruel smirk,
 “She walked out of here crying, who do you think did that?”
The words hit me square in the chest, because he was right, i could barely breath through the hurt, imagine how she was feeling. I shake my head, it doesn’t matter now, I just have to make sure she was safe.
 This time when I walk away from him he doesn’t follow me, he knows he got me, he stands there watching me with that stupid grin on his face, his hands crossed behind him.
 “You will never be free of this life, you will never be happy, you will never find love, you will always mess things up, so come to me, none of these are plausible here.”
 The car roared to life, and I am tempted to run him through, so tempted, my hands grip the steering wheel tight, and when the headlights turn on, I find his security behind him, on his face a knowing smile, I turn around with the car, speeding away into the dark, tracing the person that mattered the most to me.
 If it were someone else that made her cry, I would have creative ways to kill the person, now that it was me, I was filled with so much disgust and anger that I cannot expel anywhere.
 “I never did.”
Her words float back to me, a lump forms in my throat, shaking my head again, I didn’t deserve to feel this way, I betrayed her in the one way that cut her the most. My eyes fall on the map, and I watch as the car remain in one spot, it doesn’t move, I gun the engine, praying to whomever was listening that she wasn’t hurt. My heart was in my throat, as I approached the vehicle.
 The doors had been thrown open, the lights blinking, I rush out of the car, and find it as empty as I knew it would be.
 “Please.” I begged, I have no idea who I was begging, but I knew I needed her to be safe.
I check the footage in the car, the one of the last hour, her tear streaked face fills the screen, my heart squeezes just watching the footage, the tears were because of me, and I had no right to, but I missed her. My eyes remain on the screen as I watch her climb out of the car herself, probably to keep me at arm’s length. 
 The sound that comes out of me is pained, she could keep me as far away from me as she liked, but I needed her to be safe. I dial Clay.
 “Is Joanne with you?”
“Yes she is, why?”
I let out a shaky breath,
 “It’s Rachel, she... found out, and now..” I sniff, “And now, I can’t find her, help me find her.”
He cusses on the other end of the line, I don’t have time to hear how much I messed up, when I could be out there searching for her, so I disconnect the call.
 “So it is mutual then.”
My hand automatically lands on the emergency gun I keep on me at all times, when I hear and see Richard coming out of the back seat, he crawls between the space and sits himself in the passenger seat.
 He chuckles, and my hand drops from the gun and I settle back into my seat, trusting Clay to get her location.
 “Why? You don’t think I am a threat?”
I felt a bubble of annoyance rise to my throat.
“No, get out.”
The smile drops from his face, I don’t understand him sometimes, it’s like he is two different persons.
 “You think you can find her without my help?”
My brow creases,
“You followed her???!” 
“I followed you.” he rolls his eyes, shakes his head and continues,
“I know you have lived with her for the last few weeks, but I have known her longer than you have.”
My stomach swirls with that information, he knew her longer, she knew the side of my brother I missed, and he knew her before me, I wasn’t sure who I was more jealous of.
 “I can’t possibly believe you aren’t out here looking for how to win.”
There is a shadow across his face and he looks away, for the briefest of seconds, I felt guilty, but only for a second, I remembered who he was, and what he had done.
 He was silent for a while, he chewed on his lower lip as he remained silent, and then he speaks,
 “Because I saw her cry, I hate to see her cry.”