SHE

SHE
The words hit me square in the chest, but I am looking directly at Abed, in his eyes I saw the walls forming again, he was retreating into his mind, so I smile at him, as if what his father had said had zero effect on me, and it was old news.
 “And?” I manage to ask, my voice controlled, pretending this wasn’t my life and I was playing a character, one that didn’t care that the man she was in love with used to be an assassin.
 His father chuckled, I drag my eyes to his face, his tongue was in his cheek as he stared at me, studying me once again.
“And? The man used to torture people to get information, he was excellent at it, his mind always found new ways to put other people through unthinkable amount of pain, lots of people around the world sought him, paid outrageous amounts of money for his services, but his specialty was making sure they didn’t exist.”
 He does little to hide the jealousy and anger in his voice as he spoke, I try my best to ignore what he had just revealed about Abed, no matter what was said, I would not be biting the bait, I was here to stick up for him.
 “You sound a little jealous he was better at it than you.” I say, keeping my eyes on him even as I take a forkful of salad.
“Jealous?” he sounded incredulous.
“Yes, very jealous at that, he was your student, you taught him everything you knew, yet he was the one they asked for, they most likely went through you to ask for him specifically, you turned into old news, he was a natural even if he hated it, but you couldn’t do anything about it, seeing as it fattened your pockets, and then he quit.” I knew I was going the right direction, his face no longer looked smug, his hands around his cutlery tightened.
 “How dare he quit? It was maddening wasn’t it? He was your best asset, but you were going to show him, show him you were better than him, unfortunately, not many people still use your services, this is what makes you angry, the student surpassed the master.”
 The table is silent, except my scraping of fork against the plate, I continue to scrap the fork nosily, trailing an invisible line while looking at him in the face.
 “You are good, I see why you are a good match with him, telling such stories.” 
I halt my scraping, and nod as if agreeing with him.
 “That is why they should have never let you adopt a child, you were the worst choice, how did they not notice that? Competing with your own kid, making them compete against the other, what a narcissistic prick.” I snort, I was getting riled up the more I spoke, I have never wanted to sink my fork in someone’s eyes so badly.
“Rachie, you are getting out of line.” Richard tells me through gritted teeth.
I scoff, turning to him, the rage in my chest churning, almost burning a hole through my body and falling on top of my lap.
 “You don’t see the flaw in teaching your child how to torture people? Adopting a kid to make sure you handed down the knowledge of killing and torturing people? You don’t see that he ruined your lives? Abed tried to protect you, but I guess blood is thicker than water.”
 His jaw clenched hard, I could see the thoughts processing behind his eyes,
“You don’t know anything.”
“I know you stayed, the blood and the gore must have not affected you enough.” I say pointing to the difference in plates, he was almost done with his meat, his father had finished, but Abed hadn’t touched his. Richard scoffed and looked away, mumbling something about righteousness under his breath.
 “So, you don’t mind that your beloved was a killer?”
I swallow, my mind unable to accept the fact, his hands were soft, kind, loving, they could never use it to snuff out a life.
 “Actually, I used his services before, the people who torched my house?” I say blinking, the memory hits me with full force, when I heard Clay tell him he was supposed to be done with that life, but he went back for me, because of me.
 His father looked at him with something mixed with shock,
“You tortured them?” he sounded proud, I felt disgust swish around in my guts.
“He didn’t enjoy it, he hated it, he hated himself, you don’t get to feel proud for that, he owes you nothing, and you owe him everything.” I tell him.
 His father’s eyes snap to me, irritation in his ugly irises as he turned to me, for the first time I was seeing him as something other than a man who should never have had kids, I was seeing a cold blooded killer, someone that enjoyed taking the life of others, someone that could end my life right now if he wanted. Now I understood why he walked around with so much security.
 I felt a lump of fear slip into my mouth, I swallow, forcing it down, looking at him square in the eyes, I owed it to Abed, he had done so much for me, the least I could do was make sure his father didn’t intimidate me.
 “What do you want from me?”
A businessman, I was never really good with business aspect, but this was it, this was the moment he had been waiting for, the sooner I got it out of the way, the sooner we leave this house and it’s toxicity behind.
 “Give Abed everything he deserves, everything you owe him, and never contact him ever again, cut ties with him.”
“Rachel!” Richard cried.
I pay him no mind, I keep my eyes on his father, who kept studying me like I was an insect under his microscope.
 “If you choose to live like dirt for the rest of your life, that is your choice, live like dirt, die like dirt, but do not interfere with someone trying to leave the dirt behind.” I tell Richard without looking away from his father.
 The table goes silent again, this time I don’t even scrape a fork, I needed him to know how serious this was to me, to Abed. I didn’t want him to dance to the tunes of this man any longer, he deserved to be free from these people, even if I could not help with the traumas of his mind and the horrors he had witnessed and forced to do, I could do this.
 “You really did it... I can’t believe I ever doubted you, but you kept to your word, you did marry well.” His father says this quietly.
My eye twitched, marry? Did he say we were married?
 My eye fall on the ring around my finger, Joanne and Clay’s words float around my mind, they were against the ring, was it because...? Abed and I were married without my knowledge?!