Chapter 28 - Craig

The phone rang, and Craig nearly jumped out of his skin. He had Isaac strapped in a sling on his chest. Since they’d come back to California, Isaac hadn’t been sleeping through the night. He’d started to cry more often, too. Craig didn’t recognize the pitch Isaac used—it wasn’t that he was hungry, or tired, or gassy. The more Craig heard it, the more he recognized it for what it was—mournful. Craig knew that Isaac was too young to understand what was going on, but it was easy to pretend that he was missing Jack just as much as Craig was.

It had been a rough few days since leaving North Carolina.

“Hello?” Craig asked as he answered the phone. He was sure it was his lawyers.

“Craig,” his mother said. “Why haven’t you been answering my calls? I’ve been trying to get in touch with you desperately.”

Talking to family was the last thing Craig wanted to do. He grimaced and paced the length of his living room. Los Angeles stretched out through the windows along the back wall, lit by the mid-afternoon sun.

“I’ve been busy. I’m sorry.”

“I know you ran off to North Carolina to do god knows what, but really, since you’ve come back to town, not a single phone call?”

Craig hadn’t told his family he was leaving. The only soul he’d let know was Nadine. His temple throbbed in irritation. Had they paid someone to keep an eye on him? Did they really think that little of him?

“How did you know?”

“That’s not important,” his mother said. “What’s important is that I hear your son’s mother is available to parent again. What fantastic news.”

“Who are you paying to find out all this information?” Craig asked uneasily.

“That’s not important.”

“I happen to think it’s very important.” Craig stiffened his shoulders. He stopped pacing to stare out the window. Cars passed below, impeded by traffic. “I understand that you want the best for me, but going this far? Spying on me and the ones around me?”

“It’s not spying, darling,” she said. “You only spy on people you dislike. Bad people.”

“Says who?” Craig bit down on his jaw. “Words don’t mean what you want them to mean. Spying isn’t only on bad people because that’s what you think it is, mother. You’re spying on me and on the situation.”

“If you think of it like that, it sounds so much more dramatic than it is. I just want to know you’re safe and looking after yourself.”

“I think all you want to know is if I’m keeping Isaac or not,” Craig bit back.

She paused long enough to let him know he was right.

“Mother, listen.” Craig was done playing nice. It was clear that his family wanted him to be someone he wasn’t comfortable with being. He wasn’t going to stand for it anymore. “I know that you mean well. Probably. But here’s the thing. I’m an adult. I’m a father. I know that Isaac isn’t the grandson you wanted, but he’s the grandson you’ve got. You can either accept that and let both of us into your life, or you can reject that and have neither of us.”

“Craig!”

“I’m serious,” Craig said. “I don’t care what it means in terms of my reputation, or how many people turn their backs on me. I’ve made a name for myself and I have money in the bank. After I marry, I’ll have grandfather’s inheritance, and that will keep me stable for the rest of my life and then some, even if I choose to never work again. I’m sick of being someone I’m not for the sake of appearances. I’m not going to do what the family thinks is right if it doesn’t line up with my own moral compass.”

“You’re being hasty, Craig,” she warned.

Craig laughed. It was dry and bitter. “You think I’m the one being hasty? You’re the one who’s asking me to sign over all rights to a little boy you’ve never even met. He’s beautiful, mother. He’s sweet and curious and a fighter. He’s got the whole world ahead of him, and I’m going to give him everything I’ve got. I want him to know that he’s loved.”

“He can know that while living with his mother,” she said.

“And he can know that while living with me, too.” Craig was done with the conversation. It was clear his mother wasn’t going to change her mind. No one in the family would. To them, Craig would always be the lesser version of Roman. Nothing he did would ever make a difference.

Unless he walked away.

“I wish you’d think things through with your head instead of your heart,” his mother said. She sighed.

“And I wish you’d think things through with your heart, because it’s obvious you’ve been out of touch with it for a long time.” Craig ran a hand through Isaac’s tuft of blond hair. “I’m going to keep fighting for my son. I’m going to raise him to be the best man he can be and encourage him along the way. I’m going to love him with everything I have. I wish I could say the same for you.”

She said nothing.

“If there’s ever a time when you have room in your heart for your grandson, then you can get back in touch with me,” Craig said. “Until then, there’s nothing more I have to say to you. Isaac and I are going to forge our own future, and we don’t need people trying to drag us down. I’m sorry, mother. I love you, but I’ve got to love myself and my son, too.”

The silence lingered. Craig shook his head. Even when he was ready to cut ties, she refused to backtrack and apologize. She wouldn’t even say that she loved him.

Not all family was worth fighting for. Craig had to choose his battles. He had no qualms about cutting ties when it meant the people he cared about would be happier and safer for it.

Isaac was worth all of that and so much more.

And so was Jack.

“Goodbye, mother,” Craig said. He waited a second to give her time to respond, but when she said nothing, he ended the call.

Not all endings were happy. Craig knew it. He wasn’t sure what the future held, or where he’d be six months from now, but he knew that making difficult choices like that would help make wherever it was a better place than where he was now.

No more Los Angeles. No more family drama. No more pretending to be something he wasn’t.

He was Craig Palmer. He was a father. He was bisexual. Craig embraced all of it.

The quiet times with Jack had molded him into the person he wanted to be. Now that he knew who that was, Craig was ready to do whatever it took to make sure he didn’t lose sight of it.