I hate you Zac

**Cassy point of view

**

I don't remember the exact moment when I fell asleep, only that I was startled by the insistent ringing of the doorbell. I got up and walked to the bathroom to wash my face, and when I looked in the mirror I saw how messed up I was, my eyes were so irritated by how long I'd been crying... I took a deep breath and then left the room, so I could hear voices coming from downstairs, I even thought it was Alicia or Austin who had arrived. And if they were, I needed to introduce my friend, because I'm sure she's downstairs.

“Athalia, who's there?” I ask a little loudly as I head towards the stairs, but she doesn't give me an answer ‘I heard some screams and...’ and the very moment I saw him, my world stopped, my heart raced and I felt the urge to cry grow inside my chest.

“What are you doing here?” I asked when Zac's gaze lingered on my face.

“Little one, we need to talk,” he said.

“I told you it's over, I don't want anything more to do with you Zac, just distance.” I said and made my way back to my room, I didn't want to see him, I didn't want to be near him ever again. But he was insistent, and as soon as I was almost to my room, I could hear his footsteps behind me.

“Cassy, let's talk.” he insisted and before I could close the door to my room, he burst in, brutally.

“Get the fuck out of here, I've got nothing to say,” I say, totally annoyed ”Remember what I said inside your house? I said it's over, so go away,” he denies ‘FUCK IT'S OVER!’ I end up screaming, feeling a pain invade my chest.

“I love you so much Cassy, forgive me. I'm an idiot for doing that.” Zac approaches me, and I feel his hand touching my arm, I close my eyes for a few seconds, and I remember that before, when he touched me I felt wanted, I felt in love, but at that moment, I could only feel that I was dying of disgust for him.

“DON'T TOUCH ME, DON'T LAY A HAND ON ME. i'm disgusted with you, disgusted zac!” i shouted as i shoved him.

“Don't talk like that Cassy, please let me tell you what really happened.” He didn't need to tell me, I already knew, I had seen it. But how could he think he could change my mind, let him tell me the facts from his point of view.

“All right, Zac, is that what you want? Go and tell me, tell me what happened,” he sighs with relief but I cut off his hopes right away ‘But that won't change anything.’ It wouldn't, because I had already made up my mind, I sat on the bed and crossed my arms, waiting for him to start telling his story.

“Well, I was at home waiting for you, so that's when the doorbell rang. I thought it was you, but it was Mandy, I was going to send her away but she said she wanted to see photos of when we were little,” he said and let out a breath through his nose ”At the same time I denied it, but she ended up convincing me and so we went up to my room, I kept showing her the photos, and I got distracted remembering everything, I got so distracted showing her the photos, that the bitch started to mess with me. I asked her to stop, because there was no point in anything she did, because I loved you.” I laughed through my nose, feeling my face tingle “But there was one thing she said that touched me so much, and Cassy, I'm being honest with you. She said that I might love you, but she was the one I wanted, the one I desired. And she was right, I should have told you about that, ever since Mandy showed up and I saw her, I felt the desire to possess her again.” I bit my lips and dried my face quickly, he didn't deserve my tears “I tried to get away, I tried everything, but Mandy knows me like no one else and the rest you know...” how could I have been so foolish? How could I have been so stupid? I'd seen the truth in front of me all this time and I closed my eyes, denying to myself what I'd seen from the moment that blonde bitch reappeared in his life. I was the stupid one, this was something I should have seen coming from the start.

At that moment I didn't say anything, because I had nothing to say to him, and it was then that I started to cry, my tears were of guilt, of feeling like crap, and of knowing how I had been deceived, that I had allowed myself to be deceived for all that time. How could he say he loved me, if at the first opportunity, when his great love returns, he leaves me? It's all very well that I kissed Harry, that I did something with him, but that? That was too much even for me, and I wouldn't know how to forgive him and have anything more with him, I wouldn't even be able to kiss or have a relationship with Zac after everything I saw, the intensity with which he and Mandy completed each other on that damn bed.

“Please don't cry, I feel terrible, I feel like a bastard, a scoundrel.” When I heard him say that, I laughed through my nose and got up to walk over to him, but all I did was slap his thorax while cursing him.

“YOU'RE A CRAZY, YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE” I scream ‘I FEEL SO HATEFUL TO YOU ZAC, YOU MADE ME LIKE YOU, YOU MADE ME TRUST YOU AND GIVE ME UP TO YOU!’ I keep screaming, and he tries to turn away from me ”D'YOU KNOW I'M FEELING IT? LIKE I'M A FUCKING RELEASE VALVE FOR YOU, SOMETIMES I THINK I'M JUST THERE FOR YOU TO TRY AND GET THAT BITCH OUT OF YOUR MIND, OUT OF YOUR HEART!” Zac grabs my wrists and pulls me into his arms, holding me to him.

“YOU WERE NOT AN ESCAPE VALVE! I DIDN'T USE YOU!” he also shouts, and I feel his fresh breath on my face, disgusting me.

“NO? SO WHAT WAS I TO YOU? I WAS JUST ONE MORE, WASN'T I?” I said, crying, and he brought one of his hands up to my face, the other resting on my waist.

“You weren't one more, I loved you. I love you, I will always love you no matter what happens from now on.” My God, how could he still talk about love? How could he be such a hypocrite? I just wanted him to disappear from my life once and for all, never to appear again.

“I've already told you that this was never love, Zac. You may have liked me, just as I liked you. But what you say you feel was never real, your heart doesn't belong to me, and you know it.” I say to him.

“Give me one more chance...” he says softly and I bite my lip in denial.

“No, you destroyed me, you destroyed me and the trust I had in you.” I pulled away from him, but Zac pulled me in again, and touched his lips to mine, he tried to advance the kiss but I pushed him away and slapped his face.

“NEVER DO THAT AGAIN...” I say as I wipe my mouth ”NEVER KISS ME AGAIN, NEVER TOUCH ME AGAIN... GET OUT OF HERE, LEAVE ME.” I push him out of my room and lock my door. I leaned against the door and went downstairs and sat on the floor crying.

“I hate you Zac, you just disappear from our lives. Please.” I say it loud and clear, so that even from outside, he can hear and just leave me alone, and as I hear his footsteps moving away, I let out all the air I had trapped in my lungs, as well as more stubborn and insistent tears, and I hate that damn feeling.