Chapter 47 Surviving Is Living

Chapter 47 Surviving Is Living
Barth picked up the remote and lowered the volume of the television. He stared at the slowly melting ice cream for a long moment before speaking.

“Back then, I had thought I wasn’t good enough to make her  stay,” he scoffed. “I had checked every passing car as a child thinking maybe she would come and take me away with her. I never understood her reasons. So I decided to be successful just to make her know that I don’t need her just the same way she made me feel like she didn’t need me.”

I reached for his hand slowly, almost hesitating mid-way. Barth glanced down at our intertwined fingers before looking back at me, a sad smile tugging at his lips. 

“You know, the worst part of everything is that a part of me still wanted her to choose me.”

I let out a sigh as I listened to him speak. 

“I know what it feels like to keep loving someone even after they have destroyed everything.”

“Your mother stayed,” Barth said quietly.

I let out a humorless laugh, glancing up at the television then at him.

“Did she?” I asked with a raised brow.

Barth shrugs. “I didn’t experience a mother’s love all my life, Yvonne.”

“And you think I did?” I snapped. “I also thought I did, but what if everything was just a lie to cover up her tracks? People who love you are supposed to protect you. Mine destroyed us instead.”

Silence stretched between us. 

The movie continued to play in the background, but neither of us were paying attention to it anymore. 

Barth stared at me for a long moment before speaking quietly. “Then I guess we were both abandoned, just in different ways.”

Letting his words sink in, I slowly leaned against him, exhaling sharply as his musky scent drifted into my nose. Barth rests his head lightly against mine. 

None of us say anything. The ice cream melts in the bowl as we watch the movie unfold to its end. I could feel his breathing slow and steady. 

“Stay tonight,” he said quietly.

My breath gets caught up in my throat, not because of what he said but how he said it. For the first time, Barth wasn’t pushing me away but letting me see him for him.

“Okay,” I replied softly. 

A few moments later, a comment from the male lead in the movie makes us both laugh. A genuine, free laugh. 

“My heart skates towards you!” I laugh, mimicking the actor’s voice. “What the hell does that even mean?”

“How would I know?” Barth responds between each round of laughter. 

The laughter slowly died down between us, leaving behind a strange warmth that settled heavily in my chest. For the first time since I arrived at the penthouse, Barth looked lighter. 

Not completely okay.

Just lighter.

His head still rested lightly against mine, his finger brushing lazily against mine every now and then as the movie played in the background. Netflix had already skipped to another cheesy recommendation but neither of us bothered changing it.

I glanced at him from the corner of my eyes.

The tension in his body had eased and the coldness in his grey eyes had melted into something softer. 

“You should laugh more often,” I muttered before I could stop myself. 

Barth turned slowly to look at me. “And why is that?”

I shrugged slightly. “Makes you look a little less terrifying.”

A low scoff escaped him. “So you do admit that I terrify you?”

“Sometimes,” I replied honestly. “Especially when you stare at people like you are planning their funeral.”

That pulled another laugh out of him.

“You’re annoying,” Barth muttered, shaking his head lightly. 

“And yet you are sitting beside me.”

“That’s because you invited yourself into my house.”

I let out a dramatic gasp. “Wow. After feeding you ice cream and emotionally supporting you? This is how you repay me?”

Barth rolled his eyes though amusement still lingered on his face. 

“You practically forced yourself into my penthouse, Yvonne.”

“And I would do it again.”

The words flow out of me naturally without me stopping it. Barth’s gaze lingered on my face longer than necessary before he slowly looked away, reaching for another spoonful of the half melted ice cream. 

“You always do that,” he said quietly.

I frowned. “Do what?”

“Push your way into places you are not supposed to be.”

I swallowed hard, my pulse quickening slightly. 

He had never wanted anyone to see him—the demons he had stacked away. But tonight, I had finally gotten him to open up to me. 

He had told me before that his world was broken and now, I truly understood what that meant.

Before I could speak, a yawn interrupted me halfway. 

Barth glanced at me with a raised brow before laughing.

“Oh my God,” I muttered, covering my face. “Forget that happened.”

“You’re sleepy.”

“I’m not.”

Another yawn betrayed me immediately.

His smirk widened instantly and I wish I could slap myself. 

My body betrayed me!

“You should sleep,” Barth said, glancing up at the wall clock. “It’s late already. Way past your bed time.”

I glared hard at him. “I’m not a child and I know when is the right time for me to sleep.”

“Stubborn Bree,” he grumbled, standing up from the floor and grabbing the blanket resting on the couch behind us.

He tossed it gently over me.

The warmth immediately wrapped around my body and I look up at him, puzzled and concerned.

“What about you?”

Barth stared at me for a moment before shrugging lightly. 

“I will survive.”

And for some reason, those words made my heart ache. Because suddenly, I realize that maybe surviving was all Barth was doing all his life.