21⁰ The Kiss part 1

Spring Kingdom

Bella

I can't believe the king asked me to do that, nor do I have the courage to say out loud what he told me. If he doesn't appreciate me, I do. Who does he think I am? A harlot? I have dignity! But I don't deny that I felt like kissing him, he aroused feelings that make me tremble with his intense gaze analyzing me.

I arrived at the castle sneaking in so that no one could see me, I don't want to give any satisfaction, I'm not in the mood to argue.

Now I'm here in my room, with Esmeralda. I haven't told her anything, but I know she's worried about me, since I came to the room nervous.

- What happened, Bella, that you came into the room like that? - she asked, going to get me a glass of water.

- Nothing for you to worry about. - I answered, getting up to comb my hair.

- Don't lie to me, Bella. I've known you for a long time, you can count on me. What's wrong with you? -she asked, taking the comb from my hand to comb my hair.

Come to think of it, I've always told her everything, never hidden anything, and I won't now. But the fear of being misunderstood haunts me.

-Please, Bella, tell me what's going on. -she asked, leading me to sit on the bed.

- That's right, Esmeralda, you did it. But know that I won't tell you the details. - I said, giving in.

- You see? -she answered, all happy.

-It's just that there's something I really want, but to get it, I have to do the wrong thing.

-Will this wrong thing take you to the dungeon? -she asked, looking me up and down, suspicious.

-I don't know. If no one finds out, nothing happens. -I said, pausing to think about the situation.

-Look, if you want to do it, then do it, but be careful that no one finds out about it. - he said, getting up to do the palace chores.

After this conversation, I spent the whole night thinking about it.

Today is three weeks since my family was here, and after what happened to Antony, I only saw him a few hours a day. He didn't even bother to apologize to me, even if this apology was only a pretense. But even if he came to apologize, I couldn't forgive him.

I have seen many men beat their wives and then come to ask for forgiveness, and again the same situation would happen. I will not be one more, I hate this with all my being, because if a man truly loves his wife he would never use aggressiveness to touch just one strand of her hair. But with gentleness!

Every day in this castle is unbearable, besides the terrible coexistence, not having anything to do, another day is being the same as the previous ones, which amount to doing nothing, except going to afternoon tea with the wives of the advisors who come to discuss the affairs of the kingdoms. I spent my childhood being prepared to take over the kingdom, to know how to lead, to know how to solve the kingdom's problems, but what I am left with now is only the role of wife and not that of queen, for which I have been prepared all my life.

I couldn't get out of my head the conversation I had with Esmeralda three weeks ago, so I decided that I will go back there again, I'm afraid to let it be discovered and that nothing will go according to plan, give a kiss, take the flower and leave, simple as that.

-Lady, what do you think?" asked one of the cooks.

-"Yes! It's good," I replied.

I am so lost in my reveries that I forgot where I am, after the afternoon tea I was called to choose what I should serve during this week and choose foods of my preference.

-I think this is fine, girls," I said after going over the list again and seeing if there was anything missing or to be added.

-All right, I'll order you to buy everything at the village market," said Josephine, the chief cook of the palace.

- Who will do the buying," I asked.

-It will be me, Your Majesty. -replied the one with the most jovial expression.

-I will accompany you, miss. -I spoke out of turn, I just wanted to get out and leave the castle.

-More ma'am...

-Nothing will change my mind. -I said, interrupting her speech.

- Then let's go," she said, going ahead to the back of the castle.

A carriage is waiting for us, the way was fast without talking because I wanted to enjoy the feeling of freedom, looking at the magnificent natural landscape.

-What is your name?" I asked, for how could I call you without knowing your name?

-Camilla, ma'am - she answered shyly.

-Beautiful name, are you from here or do I come from another kingdom," I asked.

-I am from here, ma'am, it's just that my mother is from here, but my father came from the Summer Kingdom. -she answered.

I confess that his answer reminded me of him, of his gaze and his darkly observant manner.

-Do you have brothers?

-Yes, I have three brothers, a woman and two men with me and four -he answered smiling, it should be because he remembered his brothers.

-Do they all live at home? Or are they married?

-They are all married, I'm the youngest and I'm still in my country house, and I'm not leaving there any time soon. -he answered.

-Why? I don't intend to get married one day," I asked.

-I do want to, I've even found a man worthy of having me, but my parents can't afford the dowry, even if it's a lot. They have no money, but we have enough to eat on the table," she replied discouraged.

-Don't worry, you married this man, but be sure that he is the right gentleman,-I said.

We had already arrived so far that we didn't even notice that we were involved in the conversation.

-Let's go shopping," I said happily, seeing so many people in one place, hurriedly walking to their seats.

-We don't want to run the risk of an attack against the royalty," I said, taking out a dress wrapped in fabric used for wrapping presents.

- You're right Camilla. -I said.

She helped me take it off and I put the other one back on.

-I'm sorry if I offend you, ma'am. -she asked when she realized what she had just said.

- You're not lying, and I confess that I'd rather be a commoner now. I know that I've never gone hungry like many have, I know that you have bigger problems than I do. But my life is not bad, what starves seems to be much better than living in luxury in the castle. -I told him what he thought.

- Each of us has our own problems, and they will never be more important or irrelevant than other people's problems. Each one deals with them differently, that's the truth. -she said, getting down from the carriage, with his help too.