Chapter 15

Another two weeks had passed, Sophie still had not heard from Jake. She was beginning to worry that he had forgotten about her, and decided that he did not want to be with her, he had found someone else, or that he may have just given up due to the distance between them and her taking so long to tell Alex to get out. She had hoped that her fear was all in her head and that she was not doing all this in vain.

Alex had never shown up like he promised he would. Of course they were in the divorce process and he really felt uncomfortable around Sophie and the kids at this point. They had a court date coming up for their divorce and Sophie really had doubts about whether or not he would even show up for that. Sophie snap out of it stop feeling sorry for you. Get ready for work already. Sophie got ready for work and left Kay-Leah a note, telling her no company tonight; she trusted her, and no to ruin it for her anymore.

Sophie was surprised when she got home from work, the house was clean, the dishes were done, and the other two kids had fallen asleep next to Kay-Leah downstairs with a movie playing.

“Wow, Kay-Leah, I am so proud of you. I knew you could do it. The house is clean and all the dishes are done now tell me that the other two got their homework done and I will be even more proud. Wait, something is wrong. What happened? You should be sleeping, you have school tomorrow, the same as the other two.”

“Well, mom, Austin and I broke up. Austin said that I am too big of a baby for him. Oh and I have been sick since this morning, I keep throwing up and feel horrible. I tried to go to sleep but I have too much on my mind I could not do it. I cannot get over Austin. Of course then the phone decides to go insane, between Jewel, and friends making sure everything was okay with me, oh yeah and Jake called to. He said he would call back at midnight. Well, mom what do you have to say about that one? Why is Jake calling again?”

“Kay-Leah, really there are other guys in this world. You are still young, why let one guy get to you? Austin is not worth being that upset over. That is what is probably making you sick, first love, and first times normally do, you think they are the one and you will last forever, then the day comes when they move on and you are left hurting wishing things had been different. You will get over him and find someone else. Now tell me just how sick are you? You do not seem to have a fever. What did Jake want when he called? You do know he and I are just friends; there is nothing to worry about there. Do not let him get to you either. You are the problem right now.”

“Really mom, you left daddy for Jake again didn’t you. You laid you never stopped writing to him or talking to him did you? You have been lying to us all along.”

“Yes, I did stop writing to him. I just could not forget about him, that is all, it was just too hard to do. I guess the best way to put it is like this, I could not let him go and forget him, just like you cannot let go and forget Austin. Oh by the way you have a doctor appointment tomorrow. They had a cancellation and moved the appointment up. Now try to get some sleep, you will be staying home from school tomorrow.”

“Good night mom. Oh I almost forgot, dad came by he seems to be doing pretty well for himself. He left some letters from Jake for you on the table in the kitchen. For what it’s worth I think dad has been taking our mail. Those letters are all open and I have to doubt that you would just let him take them to read.”

“Kay-Leah, I am sorry about you and Austin, I really am, but do not get that upset over it. You two are still young, boyfriends, and girlfriends come and go, no one ever stays with their first love all their life and if they do later down the road they split up and want to explore other options. Now think about that and get to bed.”

Sophie got the letters off of the table, there were only four of them, but all were dated close together and well over a few months old. Sophie, had wondered just how in the hell Alex was getting the letters from Jake. Was he watching for the mailman, was he intercepting the mail, then taking the letters and leaving the rest to make it look good? Okay really how dumb, he obviously was getting the mail; it never came until after I went to work. How could he read all these? What was he gaining by reading all her letters? Was he just being nosy, or just wanting to see what type of person he was really up against? Okay, coffee, a blanket, pillow, and the sofa, and tie to read these letters. Just as Sophie went to sit down the phone rang.

Jake had hoped he would catch Sophie at home this time, and not have to call back, as he had to go back to work. “Sophie, is this you, sweetheart? Hello.”

Sophie was in shock, “Yes, it is. Is this really you Jake? I have missed hearing your voice.”

“I was really beginning to worry about you, about us, I had written to you, four letters to be exact, and you had not bothered to write me back. What is going on?”

“I am not doing well at all. First of all I am having problems with the kids. Then as if that is not enough I have to worry about Alex and what he is up to. He has been taking my mail and not giving me what he does not want me to have. He took the letters that you sent to me and I just got them today. He had them at his house and read them all. It is not fair to me to have this much of a problem and being here alone to deal with it on top of it. I need you here not where you are.”

“Okay, slow down, explains first things first. What kind of problem are you having with the kids? You know I am willing to help if I can.” Jake was thinking to himself, wait bitch, I still have a bomb to drop on you. I got you right where I want you; there is no turning back now. I have four renegade boys of my own. Two have mental issues not knowing reality, from a dream world, while the other two well, wait you will see. Congratulations, you stupid ass bitch, you fall for anything wearing pants, and this is all just a game to me.

“How about I just catch you up and you just listen. If I do not tell you my way I will just get off the subject and confuse you more. First of all I could not write if I had no letters to read and write back to you. Alex has been taking them and leaving the rest of the mail. He just dropped the letters off while I was at work tonight. I had not heard from you, so you did not hear from me. Of course I figured you forgot all about me, and even found someone else that was more appealing and did not have an x-husband to contend with, or three kids. Well, on the bright side the divorce is final, he did not show up for court and it was granted the same day. I was relieved when I received those papers, and wanted to tell you, but of course I had to feel alone and not be able to tell you. I just sat and cried. Now on to the kids, well Jared he is the good one no problems there, his grades are staying up and he is not getting into any trouble, Heather is acting like a two year old, and of course Kay-Leah is acting like a normal teenager and going boy crazy and might be pregnant. Heather, has been baby talking, peeing her pants, and just plain acting like a two year old. Kay-Leah, I am really worried about. I came home from work a few weeks ago and found her on the floor with her damn boyfriend that I did not know she had at the time, naked and sleeping. Now she is sick as hell, so I had to make her a doctor appointment, to get her on the pill unless of course it is too late. Then of course she had to turn the tables on me and blame you, and me, and our writing and talking again. She said the ink was not even dry on the divorce papers and I was moving on to someone else. I tried to tell her about Jewel being divorced in February and Married in April, but she said she could care less, that her aunt was a bitch and could not stay in a relationship to begin with and that she rubbed off on me. On top of all that I guess I am no longer the mom Kay-Leah is, she is now trying to tell me how to live my life. I have an irate x husband who keeps taking my damn mail; I really do not know how much more of this shit I can take. I am really on the edge of fucking disaster. Come home please, this would be so much easier. At least I would have a shoulder to cry on. Time is going to damn slow and keeps getting slower.”

Think fast pretend you were paying attention Jake. Act like you care, this has to work out. “I am so sorry; I wish I were there with you to help you out. Obviously I cannot keep coming home, I could but they would give me a discharge that I would not be proud of. Not to mention I would lose my retirement pay. Just hang in there I will be there soon, I am trying to work on a transfer to be closer to home as well, which means we can be together more often. You never did tell me, how do you like the new house? About Kay-Leah, I wish I knew what to say, but, of course I do not know what to say, I have four boys, so I would not know what raising girls is like. I guess when my boys move in with us we really will have our hands full.” Shit I was not trying to tell her that just yet. Hopefully she was not paying attention as usual, she only hears what she wants to hear, and damn am I stupid to even try to do this I do not love this woman, she is just not the type of arm candy I am used to having on my arm, thank god I am the master of plans, I wrote the book.......

“Jake, have you even heard a word I said? I am talking to you.”

“What? Sorry, I was thinking about the day we would be together as one big family.” If you believe that one you are really just a plain stupid ass bitch and deserve all that you get.

“I love this house it is roomy. As it is now it has three bedrooms, but the attic is huge and can be made into one big room for crafts, or even rented out as a room. It does feel empty without you here though.

It would such a happy home with you here though.”

“I will be there in four months to share it with you. For now just hug the bears I sent to you, pretend that they are me. That should fill up some of the emptiness. You never did answer me, have you given more thought to us getting married? My idea was to try to get married when I am home in four months. Then you and the kids could come back here with me for a while. What is there to stop us now? You are really divorced right. You cannot use that for an excuse, and the kids would be out of school, so doing not try to use that excuse. Well, what do you think, does it sound like a good idea to you?” This woman is such a dumb ass, I can talk her into anything, she is so in love with me, I know this will work out, I may cheat on her and not be there all the time, but I will have a place for my boys and I to live.

“In all honesty I have thought about the two of us getting married. The truth is I am just not yet too sure if I am ready to get married again so soon. If Kay-Leah is pregnant that is going to make it that much harder to try to deal with (Kay-Leah and a new marriage). Kay-Leah will need me, as well as you and I think it would be rough and unfair to both of you, it would seem as though I am only thinking about myself and not you or Kay-Leah. You do know since everything involving this house is on me now. I have to pay everything, and now have to work more hours to be able to keep up with it all.” Sophie thought to herself, why is he pushing so hard to get married now? What is he up to?

“Sophie calm down, we can help Kay-Leah together. I look at your kids like they are my own. The same respect that I would expect you to have for my kids. Oh that reminds me, I am sorry to have to tell you this, but I forget to mention that I have four boys which will be living with us; I hope you have room for the five of us. We are a package deal, that same as you and your three kids are a package deal for me.” God damn that feels so much better, I refused to ask about my boys, I told her like it is. Suffer bitch it is my way or no way. “None of the kids are to be treated different either. If you need more money to shop and to feed them just tell me.” Jake kept thinking to himself, Jewel will suffer for this one. Some help she is. I promise you Jewel I will get even with you. Fuck, now comes the hard part, pretend that I care, me the good looking one, has to pretend to love someone who is fat, ugly, and just plain a lazy bitch. But, I can do this, it is a money thing and a roof over the boy’s heads away from the slut bitch of a mother they already have. Once I have Sophie completely in my life and I get my boys I will not have any more child support to pay, I can put money away, and hope for someone else to come along and take her place. With Jewel involved though this may just all backfire on me.

“Jake, I am speaking to you. What the hell is your problem? You got another bitch with you? You are never this quiet. You have not even tried to interrupting, that is not you? Are you sure you are okay?”

“What?” Asked Jake, “I am here I am listening.”

“You do realize that you left the one part out about your four boys. But, I guess I will have to deal with it or lose you.”

“I know that you are willing to help in any way that you can, I do appreciate that gesture. However, you would be taking on a whole lot of responsibility; you have done a lot for me already. Just give me time and space to think about it. The next time you call I will give you a definite answer. In the event I make a decision sooner I will write to you and let you know. Please, just do not put pressure on me right now. Just give me time and space to work this out. You know I love you and I always will. Just please, give me time to think this through.”

“I love you and miss you too.” Jake thought to himself, he must really care about his boys to put himself through this crap. “You make it sound as though you are breaking this off. If you want me out of your life, just tell me.” I would not be so lucky, but I cannot let her walk away, I need this right now, no matter how much I want to walk away. “If you want me out of your life just tell me. If you love me then you better start to convince me that you love me. Right now I am feeling as though you do not want me anymore. If it is time you want and need, then it is time you get. Do not make it sounds as though it is over.”

“Damn Jake, you just dropped a bomb on me about your boys, and you are sounding like you will not get married unless I accept you and the rest of the clan. I am sorry; I am not meaning to make it sound like it does. Just give me a call sometime next week, I will make sure to have an answer for you then. Plus I can give you the news about Kay-Leah. Tell me something Jake, has Jewel been writing to you?” Sophie hated how close that Jewel and Jake were. She felt as though they were both out to get her. Sophie actually admitted to herself that she felt a bit of jealousy toward Jake and Jewels relationship.

“Jewel wrote to me last week. She said you had been having problems, but did not say exactly what problems you are having. Give the kids a hug for me. Tell Jewel that her big cuz said hi, and that she needs to write more. The same goes for you. I love you.” For real Jewel needs to write more, she has to keep me informed of everything Sophie does. That is what I pay her for. She owes me big time.

“I love you too.”