Chapter Thirty

A week passes. It was a difficult week, full of challenges and struggles. On the third day, I was strong enough to stand. I was emaciated and Sylvia tended to me the entire time. Her broths strengthened me and practically brought me back to life. Well, that and Reed taking me against my will. After our bond formed, my skin started clearing and the same dark circles under my eyes started disappearing.

On the fifth day, I left Sylvia's room returned to my old bedroom. There's no way I'll share Reed's bed. Now that we've consummated the bond, we don't have to have sex anymore and it's a relief. There's no more urgency. It isn't a life or death situation anymore, so he never comes to see me. It's been this way for seven days. And I don't mind. In fact, this is exactly what I want. Distance from him is what I need. I need to sort this out in my head and get used to the fact that Raphas is no longer my mate. But this doesn't make things easier. There's a hole where he once was, and I have to force myself to think about him, or I fear I'll forget him completely.

I don't leave the bedroom. Ever. I don't venture downstairs, and I have only been seeing Sylvia this entire time. I wake up in the mornings and shower, and after my shower there's always food waiting for me on a tray on top of the bed. The closet is filled with clothes, designer clothes, and silky pajamas, but I don't wear anything. I wear the bathrobe and that's enough for me. I don't want anything that comes from him. There's jewelry in a box by the vanity, along with bottles of expensive perfume and hair products. I don't touch anything. Even eating his food is killing me, but I need to strengthen up. I lost a tremendous amount of weight during that week, and I need to recover. Where do they get the money for all this, I wonder?

I don't know who delivers the food in the morning, I only know it's there every single day, and Sylvia takes the tray when she comes to check up on me. We're closer than ever, but even though we can't communicate with words, we communicate with glances and hand gestures. She's being the mother I never had, and I'm grateful for her presence. I used to tend to myself when I was sick, when I was younger. My mother was always somewhere with a man, drinking and smoking like there would be no tomorrow. It's a wonder I survived my childhood years in that infested house with spoilt food and no clean water. But here, Sylvia takes care of me and sometimes I feel such immense gratitude that I cry when she pets me. I wonder where all the hate she used to feel towards me went, but I don't ask for fear of reminding her. She's the person I trust most here and I don't want to risk losing her.

She brings me lunch and dinner, but I always skip dinner. I can't eat large amounts of food anymore, and besides, I eat but I have no appetite. She gives me herbal teas that improve my appetite so I eat a little more every day.

On the eighth day, I feel Reed's presence in the room. I open my eyes and sure enough, he's staring at me. He looks good, not like he did the week before. The circles under his eyes are gone. He's dressed in a white shirt and dress pants, as usual. He's glaring at me and I glare back.

"How long do you plan on keeping this up?"

"Forever."

He laughs, but without humor. "You're impossible."

"I'm not doing this to spite you. I don't want to be with you, end of story." I'm shouting. "Get that through your thick skull."

"You're trying to fight the Moon. You'll be defeated. You can't fight what she decreed, what she witnessed. Our bond is made, Bea, and there's nothing you can do about it. You'll be in my bed in no time."

I sneer. "We'll see."

He's about to walk out when something occurs to me. This is the first time I'm seeing him in a long time, and I have no doubts that he overheard my conversation with Gregory. If he truly was my mate, like Raphas was, he sensed what we were discussing, which is why he followed me into the woods. What ever happened to Gregory? I don't think he would let that slide. "Where's your Beta, Reed?" I ask unabashedly.

He turns around. "He's been dealt with accordingly for betraying his Alpha, don't you worry about it."

I sit up, concerned and afraid. "What did you do to him, Reed?"

"Since you're so interested, I'll tell you. I exiled him. I should have killed him as the law states, but I decided to be merciful and spare his life. We grew up together, you know, and I'm not the monster you think I am." He explains this with a shrug. I'm relieved he wasn't killed.

"You're worse than a monster, Reed."

"I'll prove you wrong eventually, sweet Bea. You'll see."

He shuts the door and I'm left alone with my thoughts. He's so confident that I'll run to his bed. Sure, the bond connects me to him and I feel his emotions and desires all the time. I can tell when he's brooding, when he's angry, and when he's relieving himself with a female in his bed. He's been doing it a lot recently, and I wonder if it's the same girl. I know he's doing it on purpose, to provoke me, and it's working. I can't tune him out and it makes me grit my teeth. Whether I like it or not, or admit it or not, it bothers me that he's with another. It's inevitable, and it's all because of this wretched bond. Sometimes in the middle of the night, it's like he's calling me. I feel his want for me and I have the urge to go to him. I have to fight it with all my might. I would ask Sylvia to lock me in at night, but no door in this house has a lock. Not one.

I hope he feels my hate and my fury. I hope he feels me thinking about Raphas all night. It's probably driving him insane. That's exactly what I want.

Sylvia comes with my lunch and she sits beside me until I finish. I wish I could tell her everything's that accumulating inside of me. This entire situation with Reed is bothersome and troublesome. I'm trying my absolute best, but I know that deep down I will end up in his bed at some point, just like he said I would. Every day is getting harder and harder, and it leaves me mentally and physically exhausted. Raphas still haunts my dreams, but he isn't agonized anymore. I wonder what he's been doing this entire time. I hope Dantes didn't kill him. I hope he's still alive. Maybe someday, we'll meet again, and I'll explain this misunderstanding to him. Reed tricked me. I never wanted him. Raphas was my true mate, I don't care what he says.

I feel a spark of anger and I know it's Reed. So he's monitoring my thoughts. Good. I sit back and close my eyes, and think of everything Raphas and I have been through.

He howls in anger and I laugh for the first time in weeks.