Chapter Twenty-Nine

My eyes spring open.

I'm in a dark room that smells of herbs and dirty laundry. There's someone pacing around the room, and I see a hunched figure. Sylvia? Most probably. She's using a pestle and mortar and I wonder what she's pounding at. She pours a clear viscous liquid in it and then turns to me. She eyes me briefly, then begins running the paste on my chest. It's cool on my chest. The smell of it isn't bad, it just stings my nose. I keep my eyes on her, but she doesn't meet them once. She's focused on whatever she's doing to me and I don't say anything so I don't distract her.

When she's done, she leaves the room. There are people standing outside the door, but then she closes the door and I'm plunged in darkness. I hear mumbling and whispering, and then the door opens once again. The light is switched on and I close my eyes. I open them gradually. There's someone standing right in front of me. I expect it to be her, but it's actually Reed.

I narrow my eyes at him.

He looks horrible, even worse than the last time I saw him. It isn't that he's skinny or malnourished per se, it's his aura that's dark and hungry. The dark circles under his eyes are puffy and I've never seen him look this bad.

"Bea, I'm glad you're awake. We almost lost you. When I went to see you upstairs, you weren't breathing."

I don't answer him.

"Bea, if you die, I'll die with you. Do you understand? I won't live without you."

Still no answer.

"Bea, this remedy will keep you awake, but you need to eat something. Do it. If not for me, do it for Raphas." He says his brother's name with much difficulty. I can almost hear him scream in agony like in the dream. I close my eyes. I nod. He doesn't need any more reassurance. Sylvia walks in with a bowl of chicken broth and feeds me. All I do is open, swallow, close. Reed isn't in the room anymore, and I'm thankful for that. My stomach fills and I gesture for her to stop. She obliges and leaves the room again. I sleep and dream of Raphas again. What does this dream even mean? Is this truly happening to him? Is he suffering this way because of me? I'm my dream, I feel his pain as if it were mine but in this moment, I don't feel anything and it kills me.

I wake up and Reed is sitting on the bed. I realize that I'm in Sylvia's room. There are strange ornaments on the shelves and a weird smell. It isn't bad, just weird. I feel much better than yesterday, but I still feel weak. Reed seems to be worsening by the day. He looks at me and shakes his head.

"Do you see what you're doing to us?" He gestures at his face. "Do you know why we look like corpses? It's because we're about two days away from death."

I lick my parched lips. "Good, then."

"This isn't a game!" He shouts, but I don't even recoil. I'm not afraid of him. "We bonded and didn't consummate it. You need to consummate it within a week. Now, obviously, this doesn't usually happen. No couple ever goes without consummating, they usually do it on the first night."

I just stare at him.

"But you, you're lying to yourself. There's nothing left of Raphas in you. He's gone. There's only me and you know it."

I point a trembling finger at him. "Shut your mouth. You started this. I never wanted to bond with you. You thought you could take me against my will, so now you'll suffer the consequences. I don't mind dying, Reed. You on the other hand, you're too selfish for even death."

He grabs my arms and twists it behind my back. It hurts, but I don't make a sound. "We're in this deplorable state because I refuse to force myself on you. I want you to come willingly, Bea. You're right, I have no intention of dying yet. So make up your mind. You'll give yourself up willingly, or I'll take you without your consent."

He releases me and I fall back on the bed. "You abominable bastard."

"Choose, Bea," he says as he walks out the door. "I'll be back in two days."

I scream at the closed door. Sylvia comes in a few hours later and feeds me more broth. I eat greedily. I didn't think I could be this hungry. I lie back own on the pillows and stare at the wall. The thought of being with Reed makes me shudder violently. My body's asking for him, no, begging for him, but my mind won't allow him in. It's Raphas I'm focusing on. Raphas, with his kind smile and lost look, his hearty laugh and his gentle caresses. His dizzying kisses, his warm embrace. Reed is nothing like his brother. They're resemblance is physical, only. Emotionally, they're completely different people. He was trying to act like Raphas when I first came here, but it was only an act. The real Reed is dominant, manipulative, competitive.

I don't sleep at all this night. All I can do is think and reminisce. I'm growing weaker by the day and today, I can't even move my upper body. The door swings open and hits the wall. I already know it's Reed. He didn't keep true to his promise about returning in two days. He stumbles into the room and rips his shirt off.

"I've come to take what's mine, Bea. I won't let you kill me."

I don't say a word. He peels the comforter off and positions himself on top of me. He enters me and it's like we both return to life, and the bond is complete. I feel him in my bones now, and Raphas is rapidly receding. I cry out in pain and disgust and in lust. He doesn't even finish, just rolls off me and leaves without looking back.

I resume staring at the wall. I close my eyes and think of Raphas touching me, but it physically hurts. I cry out for him. Will I ever see him again? Now that my bond to Reed is complete, will we ever have the opportunity to love each other again? Will it ever be like it used to?

Sylvia comes into the room and sits by my side. She rubs my back, then runs her fingers through my hair, then lowers my head onto her lap. This is the first time she shows any sort of affection towards me, and I'm grateful. I hold onto her and I cry for Raphas, cry for our interrupted story.

I wonder where he is right now, and I wonder what he must be feeling. The thought of him suffering hurts me mentally, but not physically.

"How did this ever happen, Sylvia? It's Raphas I love. Why would the Moon do this to me?"

She places her hand over my mouth. I'm not supposed to say such things. If the Moon willed it, then so be it. But I don't care. I'll never stop lamenting. I'll never stop thinking about Raphas. I'll fight this bond from hell. Reed won't ever have my undivided attention. I'll show him Raphas still has a place in my heart, even if the bond deleted all traces of him from me.

He'll see.