CHAPTER 83

CHAPTER 83
For a horrible moment I thought he wasn’t going to pick up. That would have been the ultimate humiliation. But he did. On the tenth ring.

He sounded gravelly and tired.

I told him he should arrange to see his daughter.

He said, ‘Yeah, I know, I know. I miss her so much. I just didn’t want to make anything worse.’

I said things couldn’t get any worse. Then I asked if there was anything else he wanted to say.

He said he hoped there were no bad feelings.

Like we’d had a row over the electricity bill or something.

I told him there was nothing but bad feelings. And that he was a disgusting human being who’d ruined Katy’s life.

In a village as small as Great Oakley, everyone will know that Daddy slept with Mummy’s bridesmaid.

Nick said, ‘You’re staying in Oakley then?’

I said I’d be at the Oakley Arms until I’d sorted things out.

He said, ‘When will you and Katy next be in London? I really miss her.’

I told him I didn’t know.

There was a silence. Then Nick said, ‘Sorry about all this, Jules. Sadie and I – we just fit. You know how I am. I just go with my heart.’

I didn’t think he could hurt me any more.

Bastard.

Bastard, bastard, bastard.

I shouted a load of abuse at him, hung up, then thumped the phone on the pillow.

Tuesday July 7th

Still too embarrassed to go out in the village.

I’ve been hiding at the pub, stuffing my face with comfort food. It’s not difficult. The fridge is full of cheesecake, dips, sausage rolls, pork pies and Coca-Cola.

I’m going to be as big as Mum soon, but I couldn’t care less.

Wednesday July 8th

What a mess my life is.

Dad asked me today if I’d thought about the legal side of things.

I hadn’t.

But I suppose I should.

Like Dad says, I should make sure I get custody of Katy. And make Nick pay maintenance. I doubt Nick will give us much though. Unless he borrows money from Helen.

Thursday July 9th

I can’t get what Nick said out of my head.

‘I just go with my heart.’

Does he love her? I mean, what else could that mean?

All I can think about today is Nick and Sadie.

Some crazy part of me wants to know all the details. How many times did they do it? When? Where? Does he love her? Does she love him? How long has it been going on?

Althea has turned spy for me because she’s friends with Sadie’s gay make-up friend, Rylan.

Apparently, Sadie and Nick have been seen together loads of times around Soho.

Ugh. To be so brazen about it … they must have so little respect for me.

Sadie told Rylan that she and Nick had sex at her apartment because Nick’s mother was always dropping in at his place. No mention that the mother of his child was there too.

How could she do this to me? After everything I’ve done for her.

Althea says she’ll try and find out more. But she warned me I might not want to know.

I told Althea what Nick has said.

Sorry about all this Jules. I just go with my heart.

She exploded and said he was always a thoughtless, tactless bastard.

I said, ‘But do you think that means he loves her?’

Althea said, ‘Nick doesn’t love anyone but himself.’

I said, ‘What about Katy?’

Althea said, ‘He loves her, but only because she’s half of him.’

Friday July 10th

Keep thinking that Katy doesn’t have a family anymore. And bursting into tears.

Saturday July 11th

Helen came round today.

Mum shouted, ‘Get off my doorstep you posh tart.’

I told Mum it was alright. I wanted to hear what Helen had to say.

Dad tactfully asked Mum and Brandi to help in the pub, and said if Callum was averygood boy he could play ‘ice cream van’ with the beer pumps.

So Helen and I had the house to ourselves.

While I was making us a cup of tea, Brandi came up looking for Callum’s sunglasses.

She said, ‘Is that tea for her ladyship?’

I said yes.

Brandi spat in the cup.

It’s the first time I’ve laughed since the wedding.

Then Helen appeared.

I had to give Helen the cup of tea then – it would have looked suspicious if I’d got rid of it.

Brandi said, ‘Do enjoy your lovely cup of tea.’

Helen yattered on about the pub garden and how it was lovely for families. Or something.

Mum’s got all these wind chimes, gnomes and wishing wells out there. Not exactly the slate flowerbeds and lollypop hedges in Helen’s garden. But nice for children.

It was very weird – Helen trying to be nice. A bit unsettling.

Luckily it didn’t last long.

Helen said she wanted to arrange ‘visitation’ for Nick. And that she was happy to act as a ‘go-between’.

I asked why Nick couldn’t sort things out himself.

Helen talked about how sensitive Nick was and what a failure he felt.

She said, ‘You know how men are – when they feel low they often look to the baser comforts.’

Then she put her nasty, bony hand over mine and said, ‘Nicholas is like his father. A lover of women. A charmer.’

I said, ‘Didn’t you divorce Nick’s dad?’

She said, ‘Yes, but I shouldn’t have done. Men cheat. I should have forgiven him.’ Then she told me that Henry cheated on her with one of his factory workers – a woman who presses the toilet roll dispensers.

I asked her if Henry had ever slept with her bridesmaid.

She went quiet then. And asked if I’d seen Sadie.

I told her I never wanted to see Sadie or Nick ever again.

She said, ‘Perhaps if you saw Sadie you might be more sympathetic. She’s … vulnerable right now.’

I asked her what she was talking about. Sadie is about as vulnerable as an armoured tank.

Helen said, ‘Given her … condition.’

I said, ‘Condition? What condition? The condition of being a complete backstabbing bitch?’

Then Helen said, ‘The condition of being pregnant.’ In this low, calm voice.

OMG, OMG, OMG.

I just freaked out, shouting and swearing. Sobbing.

I kept saying over and over, ‘How could they do this to Katy? How could they do this?’

Then Helen left.

I was really glad Brandi had spat in her tea.