Chapter 42 Complaints
The last two weeks have been hell. There have been ups and downs... But mostly downs. I'm trying to keep my chin up and press on with my life, and yet, I still feel like I'm missing something.
Sure, I'm giving James a chance to prove he is worth it. And he's trying... He's been sending me texts almost everyday. He remembers to call me sometimes. The calls are never very long, he's a busy guy I suppose.
He stops by the flower shop to come check up on me every few days. It makes me happy... no, that's not the right word. Maybe mollified is a better word. I'm still walking on eggshells around him, and I don't know when this painful feeling will go away.
Every damn time I see him, all I can think of is him pressed up against the blond in the street.
“Josie, baby... This... isn’t what it looks like?” was his lame excuse.
"Then tell me JAMES! WHAT THE HELL DOES IT LOOK LIKE AND IF IT ISN’T WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE, JUST WHAT EXACTLY IS IT?!” I demand.
“Baby, it was a mistake! It won’t happen ever again!” James promised...
Well, I don't know if he's actually going to keep his word or not, but I'm scared that it is all just a lie. That I'll catch him with another chick, blond, brunette, red-head... It doesn't matter. I'm pretty sure he's not picky when he wants to get his dick wet.
The thought sends something dark through me. I'm so sick of being played. I'm tired of being the last to know. I'm aching for something that is solid, and feels right. I want that to be us, but we aren't there yet. I don't know if we ever will be, even if I do marry him in the spring. I'll always be looking over my shoulder, wondering when he decides to get bored of me.
I sigh and think back to our little lunch date last Tuesday. He'd come to get me as a surprise. It made me hopeful that he really was trying and trying to put our relationship first for once.
"I was just thinking about you," he said, as he walked me to a nearby cafe. It was a cloudy noon time and people were busy with places to go and things to do, but he invited me out to lunch. That was the first time in months he came in during lunch. I'm hoping that's a good thing. For so long he said he was too busy at lunch, he'd barely have time to send a text.
"How is work going?" I asked, taking a bite of my turkey club. I was happy with the sandwich. My stomach had been sick lately. I think I'm getting sick from Charlie, but I'll get over it. I don't think I can afford to take a break even if I was on my death bed.
"I've got so much going on. My boss has been keeping me later this week," he complained. "It's like he's punishing me with the extra work he's piling on! He could hire someone to help with it, but no. He wants me to complete it all in a timely manner." He never really tells me much about work and what it is he actually does, other than his boss is an ass, and he's been working overtime.
Well, join the club. I'm overworked, and with the money Beth keeps trying to steal from me, definitely underpaid... But not by Hailey. She's a gem and I am so thankful for everything she's done for me and my sisters! Beth, on the other hand, owes me and my sisters thousands of dollars that she's been taking from my parents' savings that was set aside for us.
"Is there anything you could do to cut back your hours?" I asked. I'm not sure why I'm asking or even letting him complain about something so simple. He honestly has nothing to be complaining about! He lives in his own house, and his parents pay for half of it!
"I tried, but he won't let me. He keeps filling my table with busy work," he sighed dramatically. "I could be doing so many other things. He has no idea how much pressure he is putting on me! I just need a break, baby."