Dilemma

Orion’s p.o.v

I paced the length and breadth of the room, fighting the urge to go back out there. How could I have left like that? She most likely would have been terrified with the way I shoved her and made a beeline out of there.

“Fuck! I just had to go and mess it up” I growled to no one in particular. There was no one to blame for my own actions except me this time. “My Lord” Caelum greeted, making his way into the room with a bow.

“How was dinner my lord” he said as he moved to help me undress but I stopped him… “My Lord?” he looked at me confused “did you not enjoy dinner? Did the human…”

“Why did you keep the human? Why did you not discard her when I told you to get rid of her on the first day?” I said, looking at him accusingly.

This mess was all his fault. If only he had listened to me and taken her essence the first time. I would not have need to deal with all these emotions. I would have been fine.

I ground my teeth, waiting for him to say something to counter what I had said, anything to get me fired up, but instead as the level headed person he was, he bowed his head to answer “my lord, I only thought it was in your best interest that we find a suitable guide as you are becoming more and more unstable, but that was my mistake. We shall remove her from the ship first thing tomorrow”

“no!” I yelled, hating myself for the way I reacted. He raised his head, giving me a confused yet knowing look.

“you don’t want her cast out my lord? I take it you want her presence then?” I kept silent. I did not know how to answer that.

I was no longer unsure about my feelings, but… what if I sent her out and then she actually feels relief that I am letting her go?

What if I did let her stay but she never warms up to me and actually grows to resent me?’ the two conflicting emotions waged war in my mind, preventing me from choosing either options.

“Locate where Karin’s ship is and move towards it. I think I have to pay my visit” I commanded, breathing through my mouth to relieve me of some stress.

“m..my Lord?” I looked to Caelum. That seemed to be the first time I ever heard him stutter.

He looked at me with wide eyes, not making a move to do what I had commanded which was starting to get on my nerves.

He seemed to notice since he bowed. “pardon me your highness, I am just concerned as to why we are visiting your sister since you want to visit your sister when you barely can keep your emotions in check”

‘because as unpredictable as my sister can be, she is well vast in human matters and wise in it, not that I would ever say it to her face. And even though we are rival’s to the throne, she would never turn her back on me’ I thought to myself.

“why don’t you just do as I say and stop with the questioning” I said instead, dismissing him.

He said nothing as he went along with what I had ordered.

It didn’t take long to find her ship and soon, I was in her presence, barely keeping it together.

“a pleasant surprise brother” she said in a taunting voice, looking at me with those predator eyes. “Although I take it that you are not here because you miss me, or are you?” I rolled my eyes, that alone giving her the answer to that question.

I took a sit, getting myself comfortable or as comfortable as I could with my mind weighing heavily on one person

Astrid.

“I think I found a perfect match, Karin” she looked at me shocked at first, then confused.

“so? What is the problem?” she looked at me like I was stupid for acting the way I was

“the problem is, she is human who has no clue what her essence does to me and I am just realising how desperately I am falling while it seems like she grow to hate me each day”

There, I had let it all out. Who ever said ‘a problem shared is a problem solved’ was a fucking liar because saying it aloud was messing with my brain more than it already was.

“Orion” she said in a serious voice, coming to sit closer to me “I don’t think that there is anything you would have done that would make her hate you” she said looking at me with an encouraging smile.

“on the first day I encountered her, I was in need of guiding and lost control. I kicked her guts for no reason and… Fuck!, I don’t even remember why I did it.” I sighed, trying not to look at my sister who had suddenly gone silent.

“another time, I was ready to ensure that she no longer had the ability to breath” I said, not very fond of that memory

“but you did not!!!” she said, cutting me off

“I only was not able to do it because Caelum intervened” I said, feeling more and more stupid.

“then how did you fall for her? Because from what I am hearing, it does not seem like love at first sight” I shook my head. I could not pin point the exact moment when I started feeling a type of way anytime I saw her sad or scared.

“I don’t know.. I just wish that I could right those stupid encounters and actually not fuck it up” I buried my face in my hands, trying to hide the shame I felt on the inside. “I ran away Karin. When I found out that she is compatible I ran away like a moron. No explanation, nothing. I just…”

“Orion!” she called, snapping me out of my rambling “all this self-pity? It’s disgusting. Why come here when you can be there, telling her exactly this? Showing her that you are not a complete monster as you showed her you were in the beginning?” her voice got softer as she spoke “people get a lot of partners they are compatible with but you know that’s different for us royals, would you want to lose someone like her because of your stupidity?” she said her voice switching to become a little harsh “I don’t know what you want to do, but all I know is you better not fumble this opportunity” she said sternly, looking into my eyes. I nodded, breathing through my nose as I felt myself go lax.

‘Karin was right, I was not going to fumble this opportunity. i was definitely going to get her to at least tolerate me, that could be a start

I felt myself go weak after our conversation, with me wanting to crawl up a bed and sleep..

“can I stay here the night?” I said, already adjusting on the chair to make myself comfortable.

“do whatever you want brother, I just don’t want to see you here at sunrise” she said, leaving the room and closing it firmly behind her