curiosity killed the cat

Astrid’s p.o.v

I could barely understand a word in the book but there were pictures which gave me a hint of what each page was talking about.

“Celeste knew how to read” I mumbled, the initial glee I felt vanishing in an instance. I felt distaste, letting the book slip from my hands.

A tear slid down my face before I had anytime to notice or even clean it.

‘If she was here, she would have been elated on just being able to hold a book in her hands like I had just done.

“How can you be so stupid” I muttered, scolding myself as the gravity of what I had done earlier weighing down on me. “How can you forget?” I said, raising my head to look ahead only to be met with the mirror at the angle

“Disgusting” I snarled at myself as I took in my look. In a bit of rage, I took the book that was now laying on the bed and threw it across the room, making sure that it made contact with the cursed mirror.

“Ugh!!!!” I groaned, shielding my face from the noise as the mirror broke into a million pieces

‘It’s all his fault’ I thought as the tears of guilt ran down my cheeks. “It is all his stupid fault!!!” I yelled in between sobs. ‘He should have just continued treating me like the piece of trash he thought me to be!!!’ I thought as rage more than guilt engulfed me.

‘He should have just left me to be, without that stupid act of kindness because now, I could barely think straight’

“Pathetic” I laughed at myself. I truly was pathetic and that stupid bastard…

I sighed, trying to calm myself down. I sat, looking at the shattered pieces of glass on the ground. ‘was he bored out of his that he would even play with the feelings of someone so insignificant to him?’ I thought.

Insignificant

The word rang in my head over and over again, causing a sting in my chest. ‘I was insignificant to him, he could very much discard me any time he likes’ I thought as I sighed.

“This is confusing” I said, wanting to fling myself across the room till I got a bit of sense. “Why would he give me the time of the day when he knows that he does not care for me in such manner?”

I had never been more confused in my life as I was at the moment. “This is confusing” I sighed aloud, running my hands through my hair then looking back to the hand again

‘He held me here’ I thought to myself, staring at the hand intently. i closed my eyes, sighing again. At this point, it was a miracle that I had not ran out of breath with the way I had been sighing ‘but he is crazy’ I thought again. At this point, I could not pick a side.

Did I hate him? Or did I desire him?

“That’s stupid” I thought to myself for even thinking I could desire him. He was the one person I should not even dare to have. He was the leader of the race that wiped away the only family i had ever had… ‘Astrid, that should be more than enough reason to not even have this debate In the first place’

‘or it might be because you did not love her enough, that could be the only reason why you are even having this conversation in the first place’ a voice whispered at the back of my mind, causing me to go still.

No other thought ran through my head as I fell asleep with the conclusion that I must not have loved Celeste enough since I was having desires for a ruler of the species that killed her

That feeling was not in the slightest bit enjoyable cause I could feel the guilt from the inside out

**

Just like the previous days. The maids came in to clean me up, dressing me up in overly fancy clothes. They said nothing about the broken glass, cleaning it like it was a part of their routine.

Breakfast.’ I thought, bracing myself to meet Prince Orion after the way things ended awkwardly last night.

“the lord has required that you fill up your days” the main maid said as I was about to open the door and leave.

“what?” I thought, not quite understanding what she meant by that.

“the Lord requires you fill up your days. Learning to read, to doing other things to improve yourself for when he gets back”

‘when he gets back?’ my mind was stuck on those words for a moment

“fine” I nodded. This would give me enough time to clear my head so that I could think straight when I am back to being around him. “what do I have to do?” I said, looking at her with a bit of enthusiasm. I was not going to let the guilt get to me anymore, heck, I was not going to think about it

“we start as soon as you are ready esteemed guest”

“I am ready” I said, determined to do everything to make sure I don’t go back to how I was feeling yesterday

*

Five days, five bloody days and I was yet to see anyone aside the maids who were attending to me, and they did not even try or want to get into conversations with me, no matter how hard I tried. It was lonely, I even started to miss his annoying voice. “my gosh!” I groaned, splashing the bath water on my face.

Well for one thing, I could do as I pleased after I had gone through the events of the day, but it was still fucking lonely.

‘Caelum!!’ I thought, getting out of the bath to go and look for him, surely he would still be on the ship. I got out, making my way to the other side of the ship.

I saw his name engraved on a door, just like mine was, stopping me for a moment

Orion.

The name was there, inviting me to have a look ‘it is not like he would know, he is not around’ I thought, taking a step towards the door

I shook my head, ‘no, it does not matter, I would not invade his privacy like that’ I thought, walking past the door to look for Caelums’

‘fuck it’ I thought as I made my way back to the room.

It was locked just as I had expected and found myself trying out every letter code I could to open the damned door

Xiaren

I typed after the hundredth try and … it opened!!!’ I thought with a smile..

I walked into the room. ‘Plain’ I thought as I looked around, till a weird looking door caught my gaze.

i moved towards it, something about the door felt off and i could not bring myself to look away.

as though compelled, i saw myself walk slowly towards it. 'turn away Astrid, you don't need to nose around' a nagging feeling at the back of my mind said, but regardless i still moved towards the door.

i touched it, not giving myself a moment to think anything through. 'i rather do you it now and calm my curiousity so i can finally let go, i have to see what is....

I did not get a chance to finish my thought process as i was sucked in barely even getting a chance to cry for help.