Chapter 12

Astrid’s p.o.v

I laid on the bed, alone in my room as i recalled everything that happened at dinner.

‘It did not feel real, if anything, it felt as though tonight had all happened in my head.

“He held, no… he asked for my hands and actually waited for me to give it to him. He did not forcefully take my hands he stretched out his hands and….” I laughed, looking at the wall and then my head fell back from the laughter that escaped my mouth. It did not seem real.

Screw that, I was still pinching myself to find out whether or not I was still dreaming from my afternoon nap.

He said nothing to provoke me, he just…. stared.

He stared at me for the most part of the night, as though it was the first time that he had ever seen me.

He was still intimidating, with his tall figure and clean look, but it was not in any way as scary as the first time we encountered, or even any time after that.

In fact…. I sat up quickly, trying as much as I could to get the memory out of my mind but it was futile. I could still feel the place where our hands touched, hours after the dance. It felt oddly cold. ‘I want to touch his hands again, to feel the warmth’ I thought as I looked down at my hands

“no, you don’t” I whispered to myself, catching the thought before it could go any further.

‘He smelled nice’ I thought again as I groaned, begging myself not to go down that stupid part. There is no need to think of such stupid thoughts when I knew that I could barely even stand the sight of him on a normal day.

His eyes’ I sighed, “please Astrid, a little affection cannot make you feel this way” I pleaded with myself as I helplessly remembered the way he smiled at me and made comments on how i was a pro at dancing, or how I felt so at ease when I was in his hands. It felt right.

Me in his hands felt just right. “i felt right and at ease in Prince Orion’s arms” i said to myself out loud to make it make more sense in my head.

There was no denying it, no matter how i wanted to word it, it was how i felt. I felt safe in his hands. That was until he ran out.

he looked at me slightly confused at first and then rushed out of the room like the room had been set on fire.

“i would need a few days, to myself. Good night Xiaren” he muttered a little too close to my ear, forcing me to take in more of his scent which was choking…

No, his scent was more than that.’ i thought as my mind drifted back to the moment where i almost pulled him closer to me, just to get more of his scent. His scent, for lack of better words were… intoxicating.

It, for some reason reminded me of happy times

“i am definitely going crazy” i gave a dry and humorless laugh. I was done trying to figure out why i was acting this way. The only logical and simple reason was because i was going crazy from lack of sleep.

“Fuck” i muttered. ‘What if he had not shoved me away? What if he had not walked out the door in a hurry? What then?’ i thought as i pressed myself further into the bed, as if to shield me from the earlier actions.

I had laughed at some things he had said, I had dared to be free!, dared to be comfortable with him!!, comfortable enough to even have a dance with him. “Fuck!” i muttered again, feeling a bit of nausea. I was sure that if i was standing on my feet at the moment, i would have collapsed.

“i need to leave this place before i become completely crazy” i whispered to myself.

I turned from the wall to the bed side, looking at the gift bag that laid on the top of the bedside drawer. I was yet to open it. In all honestly, i had not intended to pick it up if not for the maid who had told me that the Prince wanted me to have it.

I was scared to open it. “What if i opened it and found a dismembered part of a person’s body? Or what if he decided that since i ran away from him the last time, he was going to force me to see something traumatizing and he decided to package it as a gift?

My hand unconsciously went to the pendant Caelum had given me earlier. It brought a sense of calm to me for some reason.

“He would not do that right? Not after the nice evening we just had? Right?” i asked the empty room as if it was going to somehow magically answer me.

I schooled myself, looking at the bag one last time before i gathered the courage to pick it up.

It felt solid, causing me to sigh in relief. ‘a body part cannot feel this way’ i thought, picking at the wrappers to get it open.

I was greeted with the brown papers that formed a… book? I thought, tearing the book further open without any more hesitation.

The adventures of xiaren

It read, the book had a picture of a cat who looked ready to attack. For some reason, it caused me to laugh. He could not have picked or even read this book.

The image of him nose deep, reading this sent me into another fit of laughter.

It did not look like he would read it, but the bent pages of the book, alongside how the book spine looked like it had seen better days made me certain that he had in fact read it a couple times already.

I could not help the smile that stayed on my face as i opened the first page of the book…