Chapter 61 Point Of View

Chapter 61 Point Of View
Rachel Point of View

It's strange to run towards happiness when it seems like I've been running away from it my whole life. I don't know why it took me so long to realize that you can't be afraid when you want something. It was wanting to fight for my happiness that I left Wyoming, and it's for my happiness that I'm scouring every classroom in this university hoping to find Jayden, who seemed to have disappeared. He should be in class, and when I see that he isn't, I frown. Where is he? When I find him, I'm going to scold him, right after I tell him that I'm also in love with him. Just to keep up appearances.

"Rachel? Why are you running around like a madwoman?" Lexie asks, catching my attention, and I turn to face her.

"I'm looking for Jayden. Have you happened to see him? I can't find that idiot anywhere," I ask hopefully, but the way she avoids eye contact makes me realize that something is wrong.

"He's in the equipment room near the pool," Lexie confirms, and I stare at her, dumbfounded.

My whole body seemed to freeze, and I shrunk inwardly.

"Oh! You were there. Together," I murmured, knowing that room was the university's makeshift motel.

Lexie nodded, but upon noticing my sadness, she put her hands on her hips, visibly irritated.

"Ew! No! What do you think I am?" She slapped my forehead, and I scrunched my nose, annoyed.

"What do you expect me to think when you yourself said you were there?" I retorted, rubbing my forehead, and she rolled her eyes before sighing.

"I needed to talk to him. About you," she stated, and I looked at her confused.

"What do you mean about me?" I asked, intrigued, and she looked away as if choosing her words carefully.

"I know I shouldn't meddle, but I asked him to stay away from you," she said, with a serious tone, and I stared at her, astonished.

"Why would you do that?" I asked.

"Because I was worried about you after last night. I made a promise to you yesterday, and I take my promises very seriously," she stated, proud, but she looked at me apprehensively as if expecting me to react badly.

I've never had friends before, so I've never had anyone who cared about me. But seeing the way Lexie's eyes were fixed on my reactions, I could tell she cared. Her full lips were pursed, her soft features tense. Her arms crossed in front of her in a proud pose, but now that I knew her better, I knew she was just putting up a front. Deep down, not even that deep, almost striking oil, she was a good person. Someone who, like me, was trying to understand love and stumbling along the way.

"So you were worried about me," I commented, giving a slight smile, and she rolled her eyes.

"Don't get too full of yourself. The other day I was worried about the lizard in the room that showed up without its tail," she said, making a funny pout, and I just nodded as if I believed her words.

"Well, you don't need to worry. I've decided that I'm going to try, and if I get hurt, well, everyone gets hurt at some point, right?" I ask, and she looks at me confused.

"Try? Try what, Rachel? Being less of a nerd? I really think you should," she mocks, and I shake my head.

"No. I've decided to give Jayden a chance," I affirmed, and she stared at me, dumbfounded, before slapping my shoulder.

"And you couldn't tell me that earlier, you crazy? Now I've hurt Jayden for nothing," she complained, sighing heavily.

"How did you hurt Jayden? What did you say?" I asked, unable to understand her reaction.

"I told him to stay away from you and a bunch of other nonsense that doesn't make sense anymore if you really want to try," she affirms and shakes her head disapprovingly at my inconsistency before continuing. "Go after him already!" She instructs, and I stare at her, curious.

"Lexie, wouldn't that be a problem for you? I know how much you like Jayden; I don't want to hurt you," I affirmed, lowering my head, and she shook her head.

"Rachel, I'm not even in the right mindset to think about what I feel or don't feel for Jayden. Right now, all I can think about is Patrick and how much I want my little 'Mochi' back," she whines, making a funny pout, and I laughed.

"Why don't you go after him, then?" I asked, trying to understand what was going on in that crazy little head of hers.

"Because if I go after him, he wins!" She affirms, crossing her arms in a fit.

"That's not a scoreboard, Lexie. Today my debate teacher told me something that helped with my decision and might help you too. To be at peace, we need to be constantly at war with our ego. If apologizing is all you need to be happy, go after him," I affirmed, and she reflected on my words before smiling.

"So go after your happiness, and I'll go after mine," Lexie affirms, and anyone watching us from afar would think we were crazy because we both ran off in different directions.

My hair came loose from the makeshift ponytail I tried to make, and I didn't even care about the judgmental looks of the university students. I was determined, and I even got annoyed when a melodious voice called my name.

"Rachel? What's wrong? Where are you going in such a hurry?" Jasper asks, and I turn to him with a smile.

"After my happiness!" I affirmed and added, "I can't talk now, see you later!" I said goodbye, leaving the boy confused, and for the first time, I realized how determined I was.

Not even Jasper's presence was enough to make me give up, and when I realized that, tears welled up in my eyes. I entered the pool area and ran to the equipment room, but the scene I saw through the glass door made me collapse. He was with another girl. No, it can't be. He said he was in love with me yesterday, or did I fantasize all that? Tears rolled down my face, and I sighed heavily. A strange weight hung over my chest as if there was a huge stone crushing my heart, and the worst part is that I couldn't even be upset about it.

What did I think would happen? That he would wait for me to decide? That he would insist? That he would really try to prove to me that his words and feelings were true? Well, they weren't. That's very clear now that I see him kissing Keila the same way he kissed me, and it makes my stomach churn. How can he get over a feeling that made him leave in the middle of a blizzard so quickly? Well, maybe for him, it didn't even mean anything.

I guess in the end I was right all along, and this is the first time being right leaves me so destroyed, but even so, I smile through the tears. I was right! My legs are weak, and I avert my gaze from what's happening in that filthy room. I fought against myself to believe in him, and in the end, he only proved to me that everything bad I thought about him was true. When I think I won't be able to bear it, and my knees weaken, I feel strong hands pulling me, and I am enveloped in a warm embrace.

"Hey, it's okay! I'm here with you," Jasper affirmed as he stroked my hair, and his comforting tone was the trigger I needed to collapse into a cry that I didn't even understand. "Come on, let's get out of here!" He said and pulled me out of there decisively.