Chapter 50 June’s POV

Chapter 50 June’s POV
June’s POV

What is he doing here? “Lucien,” I called out with a loud voice. It has always been him, sneaking around me like I was some criminal that he was chasing.

He was just standing a few steps away, and his hands were in his pockets, the expression on his face was quite difficult to understand. It was just the soft light from the parking lot that was making the place bright. It was making him look very serious.

Of all the people that were involved in my life, it just had to be him who had to see me like this. 
I looked away quickly, embarrassed. “You didn’t see anything.”

My voice was rough, and I hated that he could hear it.

I just didn’t want him to see me like that. He already sees me as if I had nothing and now he wants to see me this way again. That’s a very big challenge.

There was a pause from him, and it was the same for me too. But I didn’t expect it. He decided to speak.

“This is not what I expect from you, it doesn’t work this way.” He immediately starts coming towards me. 

I let out a shaky breath. “Can you just… go? Please.”

I didn’t want him here. I didn’t want anyone here.

He suddenly stopped walking and did not move again. But after a few seconds, he let out a smile and started coming closer. He wasn’t even fast and was taking his time. But he wasn’t slow either. It was his normal way of walking.

I was tense, pulling my knees closer to my chest. “I said go,” I repeated, but it came out weaker this time.

He stopped a few feet away from me. Not too close which was good. At least he understood boundaries. That was what the other people didn’t know about me. They had no idea how much I would respect boundaries if they did the same thing to me. 

When he was standing there, he did not say anything, and that was how he stood for some moments, just watching me. Although it wasn’t in a harsh way and he wasn’t judging me either. He was just observing, probably looking for an answer that I was never going to tell him.

But then, whatever he was doing was making me uncomfortable. I just couldn’t say it because it would be a waste of time. Lucien was not ready to leave.

“You’re sitting on the ground in a parking lot,” he said finally. “At night. Alone.”

“I noticed,” I muttered.

“And you’re crying.” He added.

“I noticed that too,” I replied to him almost immediately. 

There was another pause from him. Maybe he didn’t know what to say. 

He let out a deep breath and then muttered. “I know what you are doing and you want me to pretend like this is normal. Isn’t that right?”

I let out a humorless laugh. “It is normal for me.”

The words slipped out before I could stop them. And just like that, the air changed.

Lucien’s expression shifted slightly. No pity. It can never be pitied by someone like him who was so concerned with his personal interest. Something else was bothering him, and it was far from what was happening to me. 

That was just what I thought about. 

“That’s the problem, you always think that everything is fine,” he said.

I frowned, looking at him. “What?”

“That you think this is normal,” he replied quickly.

I didn’t have an answer for that. Because what was I supposed to say? I don’t have the energy to argue with him.

That I didn’t know anything else? That I had gotten used to feeling small? I also got used to the people who have always made me look like I was nothing.

I looked away again, blinking back fresh tears. “You don’t get it.”

“Then explain it.” He snapped, trying to reach out to me, but I quickly withdrew my hands.

His voice was calm, but there was something firm behind it. I shook my head. “There’s nothing to explain.”

“There is,” he said. “You just don’t want to say it.”

I pressed my lips together. He was partially correct because I didn’t want to say a lot of things to him. After all, I don’t want people to see me as a burden. 

I just didn’t want to open that door. Because once I did, I wasn’t sure I could close it again.

Lucien shifted slightly, then did something unexpected. He sat down.

I never thought that he was going to do that. He was just sitting right there on the ground with me. Although it was a short distance from where I was seated. I blinked, surprised. “What are you doing?”

I didn’t want anyone to come and see him sitting on the ground with me. It is just going to cause a lot of trouble. Especially with the fact that a lot of people didn’t like me around

“Making this less pathetic,” he said simply. “You shouldn’t be sitting on the ground alone, and even if you want to sit on the ground, it’s not somewhere like this. And if you feel ashamed, I am definitely going to sit with you or maybe we can stand up.”

I stared at him.

Then, before I could stop myself, I let out a small laugh. A real one this time. It slipped out between the tears, soft and a little broken.

I didn’t know what he was doing with me. I just felt comfortable around him and it was cool. It wasn’t supposed to be so.

“That didn’t help,” I said. “You could probably think about something else and it’s going to help…” 

“It wasn’t supposed to,” he replied. “I know exactly what I am doing and all you have to do is just play along with me.” 

I couldn’t believe that he was saying that out of his mouth but it was fine. I wasn’t expecting too much from him. 

There was sudden silence between us. But it wasn’t as heavy as before. I could feel a little bit more alive now. Maybe it was because of his presence around me. 

He always knows how to light up in the moment and that was something that really attracted me to him. Especially from the very first day when he took away the pain that was in my heart.

I wouldn’t have stopped crying if I had not gone to Vegas. But then… Vegas was one day that I could not forget. 

We sat there, side by side, not touching, not looking at each other. Just… existing.

After a while, my breathing slowed. The tears stopped coming as fast. My head still hurt, but it wasn’t spinning anymore.

Lucien spoke again, his voice calm this time.

“Whitney.” 

I stiffened. What has she done this time? 

I really didn’t like hearing her name, especially at my workplace. Because I know that she would definitely do something bad. 

“What about her?”