Chapter 49: June’s POV

June’s POV

Having so many arguments with Lucien and Declan the previous day took away all my strength, and that was not everything. There was still another part of it that was gradually eating me up.

I did not plan for it to greet me like this because I actually thought I would be able to handle everything myself. I thought I was strong enough. I thought I had finally learned how to survive in most places.

That’s how my life has been for the past few years.

Today was one of those days that was going to cause trouble for me, and it started very small.

That's how it has always been.

We were back at the office in the morning and Declan had refused to say anything to me. But he was constantly looking at me like I owed him something very important.

I didn’t really care about him because I don’t want to be a part of his trouble again. But then, he decided to come straight to me through Withney.

She had accidentally switched my files again. She didn’t admit that she did, but I knew she was the one who had done it. Those files are very important to me and they could also get me into serious trouble if they go missing.

She knew all of these and still didn’t think about it before she tried to sabotage me.

“You need to be very careful with the way you handle things around here, June.” The Director, Francis, said to me with a loud voice.

The look on his face was serious and he didn’t just want to complain too much because I had heard Lucien trying to talk to him about me before, but I didn’t get the full conversation.

I understood everything and I just had to be vigilant. But when he said it to me, I almost laughed at that moment. I had to force myself to stay calm.

Because I knew exactly what had happened.

Whitney stood behind him, arms crossed, her lips slightly curved like she was enjoying a private joke. And when our eyes met, she tilted her head just a little, like she was daring me to say something.

I didn’t.

Because every time I do, it somehow turns back on me.

By noon, I hadn’t eaten. My stomach hurt, but I ignored it. I had too much to fix. Too much to prove.

I knew I was going to stay late again, and I wasn’t even bothered because that was how it had always been:

When we finally closed for the day, everybody else left slowly, and it was one after the other. A few minutes later, the office was quiet and it was beginning to feel heavy inside. It was almost like everybody was watching when nobody was looking at me.

Just that very moment when I decided to continue working again, I noticed the light flickered and immediately went back to normal.

I took a break and looked at my screen, noticing that everything was becoming blurry. Maybe it was coming from me. But I was tired.

I can’t do this anymore. I said to my cell phone. I pressed the files against the desk and I was hoping for it to stop immediately. Not immediately but soon.

After three minutes, I noticed that it wasn’t ready to stop and I couldn’t get enough air. Everything was choking me, and that was how I stood up quickly.

I was gradually losing my hold. “Please not here,” I whispered to myself.

But everything was already happening, and there was nothing I could do at this moment.

Without hesitation, I quickly grabbed my bag and walked out very fast. I wasn’t running, but it looked like I was running. There were still some people inside and I didn’t want them to see me like that.

It’s just going to increase side talks that have been looking for a way to come out.

The elevator ride down felt too long.

When the doors opened, I stepped out into the empty lobby. The night guard glanced at me, then looked away quickly. I must have looked… bad.

I didn’t stop walking until I reached the parking lot.

That was when it hit me fully.

I leaned against my car and finally let it out.

Tears came fast and hard, like they had been waiting all day. My shoulders shook, and I pressed my hand against my mouth to stop the sound, but it didn’t help much.

“I can’t do this,” I said softly, even though no one was supposed to hear me. “I really can’t.”

My voice sounded small. Weak.

I hated the fact that I was looking very weak, but there was nothing I could do at that moment.

Everything was just happening so fast and it was terrifying.

I was still feeling uncomfortable, and I just wished that someone could come and help me at that point. But then, there was nobody in my life, and I didn’t have people associated with me.

Everybody never wanted to do anything with me and how is that my fault? I have asked myself that question so many times and it’s just so crazy.

I took a deep breath and slid down until I was sitting on the ground, right there beside my car, not caring how it looked. The cold from the concrete seeped through my clothes, but I didn’t move.

I didn’t move because I wasn’t able to move. I didn’t move because I was very tired, and my legs were aching.

I just sat down there and started to cry. At first, everyone thought I was acting it up but every bit of it was very serious.

It wasn’t just the pain that was inside of me. I was crying because of the way things were happening around me. I was being a victim all the time and yet there was nothing I could do.

I cried for everything, for the way people looked at me, for the way I kept trying and failing, for how alone I felt even in a room full of people.

And maybe… maybe a little for myself.

“June.” The voice cut through everything.

I froze. I thought I was alone outside, but it was obvious that I had people around and they might have been watching me for some time.

I just hope it wasn’t someone who was going to cause me trouble.

For a second, I thought that I was imagining everything, especially with the way I heard it. I wiped the tears on my face with the back of my hands and was trying to pull myself together at the same time. But it was already too late.

“June,” the voice called out again, this time it was closer than I had imagined.

I sniffed and quickly turned around.