Don't Drink the Kool-Aid
Don't Drink the Kool-Aid
Spring
Holding his phone in his hand, Sterling crept up on Demetri and whispered.
“Sterling here, and welcome back to another episode of Wolf Gone Wild, where I do the most extreme things that leave you saying you better than me” He glared into the phone. “By the way Jamminonthebeat5689, I KNOW that’s not a compliment…Little Red told me you fucker.”
Sterling pointed the camera back to Demetri who sat at his desk going through papers. He put on his best Australian accent.
“We’ve managed to stumble upon the infamous long tooth dinosaur in its natural habitat….Now folks, we must proceed with caution. He looks calm, but they always do before they tie you down and force you to watch reruns of Guiding Light.” He breathed in deep. “This one here is a doozy! His rage is as vicious as the snap of his dentures. I’m going to put my life on the line and try to interact with him just for you!”
Sterling stood and shouted as loud as he could.
“VAN HELSING’S COMING!”
“BLOODY HELL!”
Demetri roared in fear, the papers flying about. He glared at the wolf “Sterling! I’m going to fucking kill you! AND GET THAT PHONE OUT OF MY FACE!” Sterling darted down the hall of the castle with Demetri in tow.
“The beast has been provoked! I must now evacuate out of fear for my life.” Demetri took off his shoe and boomeranged it laughing as it connected with the back of Sterling’s head.
“WHO THE FUCK THROWS A TENNIS SHOE AT PERSON?!” He screamed rubbing the back of his head. Picking up the shoe, Sterling looked at it in disbelief. “Why do you even have these? Nobody wears these except guys who became first time dads in their fifties and Bill Gates.”
Demetri snatched the shoe and put it back on. “What the hell is the matter with you?!” Sterling covered the phone with his hand.
“I’m doing a live stream for my show Wolf Gone Wild. " Demetri sighed.
“I don’t have time for this today. Go bother Jordan.”
“Yeahhhh no…he duct-taped me upside down to a tree the last time.” He pushed the phone back into his face. “Besides, what are you trying to hide Count Chocula?! Are you a cereal killer…the people have the right to know!”
“GET AWAY FROM ME!” Demetri hissed and Sterling covered the phone again.
"Come onnnn, please! We can do anything! You pick!” He stomped up and down throwing a temper tantrum until finally, Demetri agreed.
“I get to choose?” Sterling bounced back and forth.
"Yep! So what will it be? You going to take me flying on your magic cape?” He placed his finger to his chin. "Or use your Jedi powers to make me do ballet?” Demetri rubbed the back of his neck.
"Actually…I wish to make Kool-Aid.”
“What?”
Demetri walked to one of the cupboards and pulled out a few small packets of Kool-Aid. “I went to the store and asked the woman behind the counter for these. Did you know they cost less than a dollar? Surely something so cheap can’t be good-why are you staring at me like that?” Sterling placed his hands on his lips.
“What in the Jim Jones-Demetri you really can’t be this boring. My show is called Wolf Gone Wild not Vampire Bob Ross makes shit out of colored dust. Do you even know how to make it?!”
Demetri face turned the shade of the curtains. “No…I asked Alexus, but she refused. Something about the sugar to water ratio being too much for me to handle.” He fumed. “I literally eat people and she forbids me to partake in a beverage she finds enjoyable herself. Fucking mutiny I tell you.” Sterling patted him on the back.
"I feel you. Morgan is always telling me what to do. Sterling, you can’t kick a kid into the sand. THE LITTLE SHIT MADE HARPER CRY! HE’S LUCKY I DIDN’T STEAL HIS HOT WHEEL.” He snatched the packets from Demetri’s hand. “You know what? I’m in. I saw this scene in that movie House Party where the kid was making some. We can just look at that as a reference.”
Demetri clapped his hands. “Splendid! I’ll get a pitcher and sugar.” Pulling up the scene Sterling called out to Demetri. “Better bring the entire bag.”
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“So how is everything with Dr. Neal?” Alexus smiled at Morgan.
"Great! She’s been amazing for everyone and Jerry said Tracey is making some great strides. They’re really reconnecting.” Morgan sighed in relief.
“That’s so wonderful to hear. I-“ The sound of a loud crash interrupted Morgan’s words. Looking at one another, the sisters darted towards the kitchen. Shifted, Demetri hung from the swinging chandelier. Pupils dilated, wings jittery, he screamed.
“JUST CALL ME SIA! THE MOON LANDING WAS A SCAM! MARZIPAN IS JUST EDIBLE CEMENT! EVANESCENCE ARE VAMPIRES TOO! I’M NOT SUPPOSED TO TELL!”
Alexus mouth dropped, as she felt Morgan tap her shoulder and point to the empty packets and pitcher on the table. “Did you drink an entire pitcher of-FUCKING HELL!” Alexus screamed as Demetri darted to her. He grabbed her cheeks in his wings and nuzzled her nose with his little batty face.
“HOW ARE YOU LITTLE ONE! I’M GREAT ARE YOU GREAT? I HOPE YOU’RE GREAT, YOU LOOK GREAT, YOU SMELL GREAT. ICANTBELIEVEITTOOKYOUSOLONGTOGETHOME!” He flapped up and down in front of her. “When you left this morning I was like this-“ He made a sad batty face.” But now, BUT NOWWWWW I’m-“ He flipped upside down. “YOU GET IT HUH HUH HUH?! YOU TURNED MY FROWN UPSIDE DOWN!”
Demetri crashed to the floor cackling loudly. “WOOOOO! I LOVE saying that! The fascinating man with the bright outfits and white hair really has it right with that one! WOOOO! WOOOO! WOOOO! Try it Little One! Try it Try it!” Morgan covered her mouth and turned away her laugh tearing into the kitchen.
“He’s on a sugar high oh my God! I HAVE to call Rachel.” A loud boom coursed through the room as Sterling burst into the kitchen from one of the walls.
“OH YEAHHHHHH!” He screamed. “IT’S STERLING THE FUCKING KOOL-AID MAN!” He turned to the tripod. “Wooolllffff Gonnnneee Willlllldddd Say hi to my co-host Demetri Ric Flair Vamp!” Demetri bounced up and down on his little batty toes.
“WOOOOOO!”
Morgan hung up the phone. “Sterling….” He looked at her wildly. He charged at Morgan, scooping her in his arms and kissed her face repeatedly. “Lookatmybeautifulfuckingwifedoyouseeher?! I COULD FUCKING DEVOUR YOU RIGHT NOW WOMAN! THEY REALLY ABOUT TO SEE A WOLF GONE WILD!” Morgan tore herself from his arms.
“PUT ME DOWN! STOP LAUGHING ALEXUS AND GET DEMETRI! HE’S WATER SURFING IN THE DAMN SINK!”
Alexus stared at him in horror. “How the hell did you even make waves in the sink?!” Spinning on the sponge, Demetri blew her a kiss.
“THIS ONES FOR YOU MY SENSUAL SIREN!” He shook his little batty hips. “TELLL ME IS THERE ANYMORE ROOMM FOR MEE IN THOOSEE JEANSS!”
“OH MY GOD!” She looked at Morgan who was equally as mortified when Sterling's large paws pointed to her as he belted out Prince.
“I KNEW A GIRL NAMED MORGAN, I GUESS YOU COULD SAY SHE WAS A SEX FIE-“
Sterling looked at his phone and glared reading the comments. “LittleRedismysoulmate7583 CHANGE YOUR FUCKING NAME RIGHT NOW OR I'LL SNATCH YOUR SOUL FROM YOUR DAMN BODY!” Demetri flew to his side, his head violently shaking from the sugar as he tried to process the comments.
“The one in the purple bad-with two d’s. His eyes reddened. I’LL KILL YOU! I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU!” Sterling puffed out his chest.
"Forget them! Let's show them the dance!”
Sliding around the kitchen, Demetri slapped his wings together, and the music began to play. “Hold on! Let me get my football helmet!”
“Demetri…”
He turned his dilated eyes to Alexus.
“ITSFINELITTLEONEITSGOINGTOBEAMAZING!”
Trying their best to reenact their favorite scene from Kid-N-Play Demetri and Sterling began to dance. But because they were clearly two different sizes, it went terribly wrong. Kicking Demetri across the room, Sterling watched as he landed into the wall. Demetri popped up on his little batty toes.
“WOOOO!”
“OHHHH YEAHHHH!”
Demetri patted the helmet. “let’s go again! Seventh times the charm!” Alexus caught him in mid-flight and pulled him to her chest. He thrashed about. “RELEASE ME FROM YOUR PASSION PILLOWS! UNHAND ME YOU TEMPTRESS! WOOO!!!” She looked over to Morgan who had Sterling in a headlock.
“CALM.DOWN.YOU.PSYCHO!”
And because what goes up eventually comes down, Sterling and Demetri began to feel extremely tired. Releasing them, Morgan and Alexus huffed as the two dropped to the floor crashing from the sugar. “You need help getting him home?” Morgan shook her head.
“Nope. I’m about to call his soon to be pissed off brother.”
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Demetri laid in the bed dying internally of embarrassment. Seeing Alexus exit from the bathroom, he covered his face. “Don’t look at me in my shame.” He groaned and she laughed.
“Which part are you the most embarrassed about?” He groaned again.
"Probably…the singing…” She arched her brow.
“Really? I certainly thought it would have been when you referred to my breasts as passion pillows.” She crawled into the bed, still laughing. “I told you did I? I told you not to drink Kool-Aid. Then you did it wrong. You never pour it into your cup after you make it. You let it settle so the sugar goes to the bottom, then you pour from the top.” Demetri grumbled.
“Dangerous damn drink. All the rules…all the flavors.” His eyes glared at his phone screen. “And then look at this! They’re calling me bat shit crazy” She stifled a laugh. “IT’S NOT FUNNY! This person is the worse out of them all. They said I was on that white girl and when replied that I most certainly am not parlaying with any white girl…or any woman outside of my Little One for that matter, they replied. Yep, definitely on that booger sugar WHAT THE HELL IS BOOGER SUGAR?!”
Alexus rolled around on the bed, dying of laughter. Taking the phone from his hand, she turned it off. “Don’t pay attention to internet trolls. And maybe next time…listen to my advice.” She heard him grumble again.
“…Fine…” She laughed
“Awww poor Blue Eyes. How dare your girlfriend give you good advice?” Reaching down, she released him from his briefs, and stroked his manhood. “How dare I make you feel better after such an eventful day?” He groaned from her touch, and grabbed her, pulling her on top of him.
He kissed her neck. “Silly me…I’ve seemed to somehow forgotten how amazing my girlfriend is.”
Demetri tugged at her pajama bottoms. Removing them and her panties, he pressed against her wetness. Connecting their lips, Alexus lifted her body, allowing him to enter her. He gripped her hair and held her around her waist, and stroked deep inside. Alexus moaned against his mouth, feeling his jaw clench. Fangs exposed, he bit into her neck, his thrust quickening. Alexus convulsed against him, slamming her fist to the bed as she orgasmed. Kissing her Jaw, Demetri murmured, “I love you.” Before he released.
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Jamminonthebeat5689 turned off her computer, happy about her day of internet bullying. Listening to the music blaring from her stereo, she laughed. “Dumbasses.” Confusion lined her face, as the music changed.
” If you mess with my mannn...I’ma be the one to bring it to ya…”
“What?” A chill of terror fell down her back, as she felt someone behind her.
“Hello Jamminonthebeat5689.” Alexus said smiling. As the woman turned, Alexus grinned seeing the fear on her face. “I didn’t like your comments about my boyfriend, Jamminonthebeat5689. AND DON’T YOU DARE LIE AND SAY IT WASN’T YOU, I READ THEM!”
“Please…”
Alexus grabbed her by the throat and raised her from the ground, pulling her inches from her face.
“Real name”
“M-Michelle” Alexus sneered.
“That's a horrible fucking name. No…you look more like a Ruth.”