Chapter 38 Jax

POV: Jax

Damn it! I'm trying to avoid her. It's not good to be around her right now. "She is hurting too. She needs you. She needs us." Ashley tells me.

"I know. I just with we could be act on this." I confess. "No one is stopping you. You are stopping us." Ash says.

I can't. I would be betraying Cat. I can't believe she knew and never said anything about it. Why would she choose to die? She left me. On purpose.

I loved Catalina so much. I'll never forget the day I met her. I had bumped into her at a full moon ball and the rest was history.

Now I've lost dad. My own sister, his own daughter killed him. How could she. Why? "Cat and father would want us to be happy." Ash says.

"I know Ash." I just can't not now. Let me greive. "I will when you admit it to yourself. I want to hear you say it to me. You know what I'm talking about." He growls at me.

"Fuck. Alright Haven is my Imprint. Happy now!" I yell at him. Shit! I can never act on it. "Dont you dare reject her." Ash growls at me. "I would never do that to her."

An imprint is something that is very rare. Its a form of a mate bond. It goes deeper and is more intense. I'm her friend. Her protector. Her lover. Her mate. Whatever she needs me to be I am. I have been a good Imprint to her. I have been her friend and protector and whatever I could be. When Cat passed the need to claim Haven hit hard and I needed her like I've been there for her.

I just couldn't do that. She was with dad. He was her mate. I couldn't break them up. It wouldn't be fare. She watched me be with cat.

Fuck. "Alpha baby Cameron is awake." An omega informs me. "Can you please take care of him right now."

She goes off to deal with my son. What am I going to do? How am I going to raise him myself.?

I know I have a pack that is here at the ready to help but I can't ask them to do that.

When Luke came and got me saying that Haven has been trying to call me and that something happened to dad my heart dropped. I've been ignoring her calls and texts. I know she's confused by how I'm treating her but I can't be around her right now.

Unfortunately things have changed. I have no clue what I'm to do of this. There is a lot to be done. I had to wake a lot of people up to prepare for storm coming our way. Haven will be here in the pack house with me. That is not going to make things easy. I'm going to have to avoid eye contact and touching her.

Our bond will go into full swing now that both of us are free of a bond. With an imprint everything is already clicked in place. All thats left is the mark. You don't even nessasarily have to mate your imprint. Like I said an imprint is a lot of things.

The imprint hit the second I laid eyes on her when she was just a month old. I had a sudden protectivness towards her. I had to cherish her.

She became my best friend. I know she was raped twice that day because I felt it. I'm just sorry I was too late. She would never say it but I always knew. Thats when I realized it. That I had imprinted. Haven's and I's soul was one not like with a mate bond where you soul is half of it. In an imprint your souls match you are and always will be one.

While I wait for them to arrive I go through my emails and get a head start on some work. It's going to be a long tiring day.

I have one from Haven from yesterday. I'm really bad at checking my email. Should I open it? "Yes." Ash answers my thought.

I click it to see. It's a letter.

Dear Jax,

I'm sorry that Catalina is gone. I know how bad your hurting now and wish you would let me in. I miss the old Jax. My bestie. It's beginning to look like Penny will be stealing that title from you very soon.

Please talk to me. I'm sorry if I did anything to make you mad. Is it because I didn't answer the phone right away? Tell Cat I said goodbye for me. I wish you would let me come but I know you hate me now. I still love you though and hope one day you will find it in your heart to forgive me.

Please don't hate me. I won't try to call or talk to you anymore. Goodbye Jax.

Love, Haven

I wipe the few tears that fell. She thinks I hate her? I could never. Fuck. I fucked up. My baby can't think that. "Ha you called her your baby." Ash says.

"What? No i didnt." Did I? Damn I did. I was never mad at her. I text her but she's probably asleep and won't get it till she wakes.

I won't have her thinking that. She has done nothing wrong. I'm the one that been a jerk. I probably will continue to be though. I'm not ready for this imprint thing yet.