Chapter 44 I'm Yours
Aiyana's P.O.V
The next few days were calm, easy and actually scary because it was weird.
Especially following what Gerald told me last night.
I couldn't rest, couldn't enjoy the supposed peace that followed because deep down, I knew that something was coming.
That night, although not expressly stated, was a threat and besides that, there was not much peace with Jerome.
A fact that I had come to terms with.
“What’s going on?” Jerome asks as he enters the room with a look on his face that already told me that he knew something was definitely wrong, but I just nodded my head.
“I…” I started but he cut me off before I could even utter another word by coming so close to me in a split second. So close that the words froze on my tongue.
Attraction was a crazy thing. We slept in the same bed, had kissed a few times, and had been in such close proximity more than I can count but every single time, it felt like my heart was going to fall out of my chest.
I felt the shy happiness that settled in my stomach, the goosebumps that littered all over my skin from just his breath reaching me, the little pride that arose in me knowing that he loved me.
“I know that you're not okay. Talk to me.” He pushed, kissing my cheek very lightly. It was like a feather touched my skin, the only difference was that I really liked this feather, so it sent electric currents through my body.
He didn't stop there though.
He continued his welcome assault, laying kisses over my body and making me tingle in places I didn't know were sensitive.
“Wait! S-” I breathed out, unable to complete what I planned in saying but he didn't even listen to me and just smiled.
I couldn't see his face as his head was buried deep in my neck but I could feel his smile through the tickle of his beards.
“I want you to talk to me. Tell me what's wrong.” He asked again and like a woman in a spell, I started spilling.
“I think something's going to happen. It's too peaceful.” I said, making him pause whatever he was doing immediately and as soon as his face came until view, I saw guilt in his eyes.
‘No. That's not-” I started but was cut off yet again.
“It's true though. It has been one thing or the other with me, I'm sorry princess.” He apologised, hugging me so tightly, it felt like he was also apologising with the hug.
Not able to say a word to refute it as it was true, I hugged him back just as tight, accepting the apology and sinking into his warmth.
“I love you.” He confesses, even though I could tell deep down that he wanted to say so much.
“I want you so much also.” He says again after a pause and I just got my head, breaking the hug in confusion.
He says he loves me and that he wants me so bad. Honestly, he didn't really have to tell me as I could see it in the way he looked at me, the way his eyes spoke on behalf of his mouth that was usually too clipped tight.
One that apparently was doing much more talking than he ever did in so many years according to his men who had slowly warmed up to me.
Well, a few as the others were deathly scared of associating with me knowing that their boss treated me differently.
“Then why hesitate?” I blurted out, even though I didn't really want to say what I was thinking but I might as well just get an answer.
“We're not ready.” He responds and moves to walk away with a deep sigh but I wasn't having his usual vague answers today.
“No. Answer me properly. We're not ready for what?” I ask, walking to stand in front of him, blocking his way and golfing my arms to further emphasize that I was serious.
He heaved a little sigh and walked a bit closer to me before speaking. I could see that although he was a confident man, right now, he looked not as confident as he usually did but I said nothing.
“As much as I want to say ‘fuck it’ and do as my heart pleases which is make the world know that you're mine and let your heart and body know who owns it, I'm not exactly husband material right now. I don't mean to scare you but there are people coming for me. There's a war I can smell coming and until then, I will hold back.” He said, holding my hands and looking into my eyes, like he wanted me to see what he was saying also through his eyes that showed so much vulnerability in this moment.
“And me?” Unasked as I blinked back some tears that started to form in them. I was stronger than this.
He was still here so why did the thought of him not being with me hurt so much.
“I will not have you be a target. You already are and although you may have braced yourself, I promise you, it can be much worse than you imagine and I can't stand the thought of harm coming to you. Especially because of my love for you. I would rather hold back, stabilize some things and then be the man you can rely on wholeheartedly.” He stops, and places a soft kiss on my lips before speaking again.
“Make no mistake though, I'm yours in heart, body and soul and if you want me right now, you can have me.”