Chapter 84 A price of love
AXEL
I woke from what felt like a trance when the chilling feeling of cold water being poured down my face and entire body hit me. I felt as though I'd been electrified and anger consumed me at the thought of being treated that way, but more than anything I was confused and could hardly remember how I'd gotten to where I was.
Everything that had happened in the past few hours flashed before my eyes and I winced in pain as I remembered how chaotic and emotionally draining it had been, I had no wish whatsoever to relive it- not even in my memories.
With vigor, I tried to raise my head to shake off the thoughts that had begun to occupy my mind but as soon as I raised my eyes, I was met with my father's angry face. I'd seen his angry face countless times but it was rarely ever directed at me so this was a foreign experience and I had no idea how to respond to his anger.
Instead of speaking, I let my head drop while I tried to think of how I'd gotten to where I was, and more importantly - where the fuck was I?
As my head remained lowered, I watched water drop from my hair and soaked clothes onto the floor, and the marbles on the floor which the water droplets hit began to seem oddly familiar.
I raised my head again and my surroundings began to register in my mind, I was in a torture house where I'd tortured way too many men to count over the years. I had never been the subject of torture, so it was unreal when I also realized the position in which I'd been placed. I was tied to a rod that hung from the ceiling, both my hands were above my head and I hung from the pole like a mere criminal in questioning.
While I took in my surroundings, my father paced around angrily and I knew that it wouldn't be long before he'd let loose and take his anger out on me. As soon as the thought crossed my mind, he stopped pacing aimlessly and began to speak angrily.
"I'm so so disappointed in you, I would've never guessed that the day would come when I'd be disappointed in you Axel, this entire charade should've been beneath you" He raised his voice but it didn't echo through the empty room because it was made with soundproof material, such that when people were being tortured past their limits and they screamed-passersby wouldn't hear the faintest sounds of their loud screams.
"I've bragged to countless people that you're perfect Don material, so how on earth could you have screwed us all up despite knowing how critical this shipment was to us for the next couple of months? And to think that it's because of a cheap whore from the Volkov family? The mere thought of you two together disgusts me" Despite everything that my father had thrown my way angrily, the only thing that pissed me off was hearing him call Lisa a cheap whore like she was nothing but a piece of ass to me.
My anger began brewing anew and I would've begun throwing words back at my father disrespectfully but the memories I'd tried to push back earlier came rushing in with a force I couldn't comprehend or fight. I remembered how she had treated me like garbage, a pawn in her grand plan, nothing but a sex escapade, and how she had smiled in satisfaction while I was speechless and in pain.
Everything suddenly made sense, she never loved me, she never gave a fuck about me and every single memory I made with her was a lie and it meant nothing to her. She looked into my eyes, slept in my bed, rested in my arms, leaned on me for support, kissed me passionately, smiled at me while her eyes danced excitedly, let me tuck her hair affectionately, and made me drop my walls completely around her- and it was all a big fucking lie, all of it.
I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that what we had was fake, it felt so real, so real that I didn't take any precautions even when my guts started acting up towards the end of the mission and I'd felt uneasy. She betrayed me and laughed in my face like she'd never professed her love to me or meant anything she said or expressed while we were together. It was as though a sharp pain tugged at my heart as I reminisced about everything, and of course, it hurt so much because I had never loved anyone like her, and her betrayal was bound to cut deep and leave wounds in my heart forever.
One thing was clear as day, she never loved me- not even for a moment, because she would've never fucked me up this way if she cared about me in the slightest way. More than anyone else, she knew just how much this shipment meant to me but she still sabotaged it right under my nose and rubbed it in my face happily when the time came.
My pain was more emotional than physical but it was crippling me from within, such that I could swear that it became physical as well. My head was thumping loudly, my ears were ringing from how much anger I had bottled up within me, my eyes felt heavy and my heart was in ruins at the same time.
Despite everything she'd done, it hurt so much that I couldn't be as angry as her as I was at myself, I hated the fact that I let my heart lead me when I'd been thought to let my head and my guts lead all my life. She ruined everything that was good in my life and even now, I hoped that I would wake up and it would simply have been a horrible dream- but I knew the chances of that happening were nonexistent.
My father's voice broke through my thoughts and I was drawn back into reality in a matter of seconds.
"I still can't wrap my head around the fact that you lost our shipment because of some pussy and ruined everything good you've ever done along with it. Was it worth it? I hope it was because you've dug your own grave and no one's going to pull you out of it. You put so many men's lives at risk and we lost some good men because you couldn't keep your head in the God damn game long enough to pull the mission off" My father's anger seemed inconsolable and I didn't want to provoke him further so I didn't attempt to defend myself, I knew without a doubt that I deserved everything he was throwing at me so I didn't fight back for any reason whatsoever.
"If only Axel wasn't such a self-centered leader when it came to heading the mission, none of this shit would have happened. At least not on my watch, but when I came asking to be made an out of the mission, he refused without giving it any real thought. I remember damn right telling you that you'd regret it" Roman butted in and he only sounded like a jealous spoilt brat throwing a tantrum because he didn't get what he wanted, and no one gave a shit about his biased opinions anyway so I didn't bother paying him any attention after he'd spoken.
Instead, I raised my head gingerly and tried to ignore how sore my arms were while supporting my body for a while. I knew that I needed to get through to my father and if I looked or sounded like a weakling, he wouldn't take any word that left my lips seriously talking less about giving me a second chance.
"Father, please let me go. I know I deserve everything you've done to me and said as well, but you taught me not to give up without a fight, so please let me make things right again. I'll take care of everything and you wouldn't even have to lift a finger" I said with all the confidence I could muster despite my pain, my father looked as though his trust has equally been broken and I knew he wouldn't give in to my please easily.
"And how on earth do you intend to make everything right Axel? Do you also have a magic that we know nothing of? Why should I risk everything and give you another chance? What could you possibly do to turn things around right now?" My father asked me and I could hear the strain in his voice because he was disappointed in me, but I didn't let that discourage me as I planned to plead my case even further.
"All I need you to do is trust me, I know it'll be hard to, but I promise that I can fix this. No one else should have to clean up the mess I single-handedly created" I said while maintaining eye contact
with my father he needed to know that I meant our word that loft my line I wasn't meaning to work on hard to build all my life
wounds from the last failure were still sore and aching.
"Don't listen to him, he doesn't deserve another chance so soon, let me fix it instead - I'm sure I can revive the mission and set things right, Father" Roman's whiny voice replaced my father's angry tone that had just died down.
My father's stone-cold expression softened slightly as he spoke and If I wasn't so weak, I would've smiled back in appreciation.
The thought of being given a second chance warmed my heart slightly and gave me a new sense of purpose going forward, one that I wouldn't dare to take for granted no matter what. "Let him go." He ordered the guards to set me free and they walked briskly toward me the moment the instruction left his lips.
Roman had begun protesting the second my father asked for me to be freed as though he would have preferred me to be tied up helplessly for days. Despite his meaningless protests, my father ignored him and the guards kept loosening the chains that had been used to hold me up so that they could let me off the pole.
Once I was freed, I thanked my father with a respectful bow to which he simply nodded to acknowledge me. Quickly, I walked out of the torture room and began to make my way towards my room to plot my way out of the mess I'd found myself in, I knew I couldn't slip up this time and I was sure as hell not going to let that happen, no matter what it would take.
As soon as I opened the door to my room, I found Prince pacing up and down and thought he'd been worried. His eyes met mine and I saw relief wash over him as he walked towards me to look closely at the state I was in.
"Are you okay? How're you feeling? I've been a dead worried man" He asked so quickly that I could barely make out his words.
"Like shit." I chuckled in a bid to hide my pain but the familiar waves of betrayal washed over me again causing my heart to squeeze involuntarily.
One would think that after getting a second chance from my father it would somehow have eased the pain I'd been battling with but not a single weight had been lifted off my shoulders. It hurt like hell and I didn't know how to process emotions that were as deep-rooted as this, it was equally hard for me to process being in love with her but it was an easier feeling to work through than her betrayal.
How could I have allowed myself to be played like that? I'd have never thought it was possible in this life or the next.
Everything made no sense to me and my rage was growing rapidly to replace whatever space she'd filled in my heart. Normally, I wouldn't welcome rage but I'd take anything over the heart-wrenching pain of being used by the woman my world revolved around.
I sat on the bed and Prince sat beside me quietly as though he was focused on gauging my emotional pain rather than the scars and raggedy clothes I was covered in.
"No, emotionally. I know you look like shit, I have eyes" Prince clarified his earlier question but I went completely mute because I didn't think I could possibly explain how I felt, no one would understand and words couldn't quantify my pain.
"What's next for you now? What's the plan?" He asked, I was grateful that he didn't probe further about my emotions when I didn't reply.
"I'm taking everything that rightfully belongs to me and putting everyone back in their place " My eyes glistened with determination and Prince patted my back roughly to show his support.
It's on.