Chapter 83 Utterly betrayed
AXEL
Had my eyes failed me? I believed that they really had because I must've been hallucinating horribly at this point. The figure before me couldn't possibly be who I thought my eyes had made me believe it was. My heart hurt so much that I begged desperately for everything to be a dream as the figure before I smiled in satisfaction despite how much pain I was in while I struggled to make sense of everything that was happening to me.
I needed to get a clearer view so I managed to rub off some of the blood that had clouded my vision terribly with a shaky hand before I looked up again.
And it hit me.
It wasn't a dream, it felt too real to be a dream but I was in immense physical and emotional pain as I finally made peace with the fact that the figure before me was indeed that of the woman I loved more than life itself, it was truly Lisa.
And worst of all, even in this very moment I didn't hate her, I hated myself for being so vulnerable with her that I turned a blind eye to the possibility that she could betray me because she was from a rival mafia family. As I watched her plump red lips move, I still felt the urge to call out her name just to confirm that it was truly her. Even though my brain knew the right answer, my heart couldn't fathom why she would do this to me, so I struggled to call out to her.
"Li... Li..isa. Lisa?" I choked out her name despite how much pain I felt while trying to speak, I'd been upside down for so long that my head was a mess and breathing was as painful as the seat belt that pushed tightly against my guts in that position.
I coughed painfully after I pushed myself to speak and I regretted my actions as the pain washed over me without warming.
Her laughter resounded in my ears erratically immediately after I mentioned her name, and as it rang through my ears it felt like a wake-up call. I knew for sure at that moment that I wasn't dreaming but I'd been awake throughout what seemed to be the worst nightmare of my life, where the world was upside down and the love of my life had betrayed my trust.
"Why do you look so shocked, Huhn? Seen a ghost?" She said in a tone of obvious mockery and flashed her signature smile at me, it seemed like the most fucked up thing anyone had ever said to me, especially in a situation like this while she watched me struggle for my life.
All the nerves in my body had gone numb and I felt as though the earth beneath me wasn't strong enough to hold the weight of the pain I felt. I stared at her blankly as though I'd truly seen a ghost as she'd suggested, I was dumbfounded by the situation I'd found myself in, to say the least.
"You truly believed that as an assassin I was suffering from panic attacks? Is that how bad you needed to be prince charming? Well, I'm not a damsel in distress, I'm never a vulnerable, scared little lady for fuck's sake, I just needed you to think that I was so you'd be happy for suspect a thing that I'd planned" She kept talking and I tried to focus on the words that left her lips even as I struggled not to let loose the anger and pain that had been brewing inside me while she spoke.
She adjusted her posture as she bent so that she would almost be at eye level with me, it was as though she needed to have every horrible word she would say imprinted on my mind forever else she wouldn't be at peace. And as far as we'd come, it was definitely working because I would never be able to forget everything that had happened here, breathing had also become harder but I held on by a thread to see how much worse things would possibly get before this charade was over.
She rested an arm on her thighs and leaned forward and I knew that she'd soon begin to speak again, but I definitely wasn't looking forward to what would leave her lips next.
"After single-handedly sabotaging the biggest mission of your life and taking it down I don't look so vulnerable anymore, or do I?" Unfamiliar laughter erupted from her throat and I kept staring at her in disbelief, she seemed like a natural at being mercilessly brutal, and I knew that she wasn't my Lisa at that moment.
"How good of a mafia don are you if you truly believed that an enemy had fallen in love with you? Have you learned nothing from history? Or you just decided to walk into it blindly for some ass?" She asked and stared at me for a long while as though she was truly expecting a response to her unbelievably twisted questions. As shocked as I was, I still couldn't tear my eyes away from her no matter what, and she didn't fail to surprise me with every word that left her lips.
"You really trusted an enemy and allowed one to get dangerously close to you in the name of love? So close that I intercepted your most important meeting before the shipment by simply planting a recorder in your shoes. How fucking dumb, mister." She chuckled lowly as she spilled how her plan fell through perfectly, and at that moment I also realized how foolish and clueless I'd been to trust
her.
Why is it delusional for me to still keep hope alive that this wasn't happening? Probably, but I couldn't possibly process a betrayal such as hers, if the pain I felt as she spoke didn't kill me then I doubt anything ever would. I was in denial but it seemed like a better option than embracing the hurt I felt by trying to make sense of her betrayal.
Was I wrong to believe that she loved me? Was everything I'd centered my life around a fucking lie? Was everything we'd experienced together nothing to her? Were all the heartfelt moments together nothing but a joke to her? Just for how long had she been stringing me along and I'd stupidly tagged along? I had a million questions more to ask but I was scared that the answers to every single question would only break me more, but I could hardly shoulder the pain I felt so how the fuck would I handle anymore?
Denial, it was. I embraced denial as her piercing eyes stared into mine with menace and a determination I'd never seen her display before. It seemed like she needed to break me completely for her job to be done, else why on earth would she need to confront me after successfully getting the shipment in our hands? There was no other plausible reason.
"Guess what lover boy? For what it's worth, I really enjoyed the insatiable sex we had together. Who would've guessed that sleeping with the enemy would be so much fun? Not me." The men behind her laughed and she smiled at me as though she'd just emerged victorious on a conquest. The sacred moments we'd spent together had meant nothing to her but a show of sexual prowess and that stung my heart.
"For that one reason, I'll spare your life. At least even if you did poorly at everything else, you were really good in bed and that's worth commending." As soon as the last word left her lips, she winked at me and threw me a small smile before she stood up. I winced in pain as I tried to adjust in my seat and grab onto my gun again.
As I reached for my gun, I heard mumbling between Lisa and the men that had accompanied her so I stood still to listen in on their conversation clearly. From what I could hear, it seemed as though the men wanted her to finish me off instead of sparing my life like she'd decided to.
She seemed to have disagreed with them because the mumbling had gotten a little louder the minute after she'd finished addressing them. Most of the men were certain that they would never have me in a vulnerable position like this again so this could be their best shot at taking out a critical member of a rival mafia family.
They filled her ears with loud whispers of how it would be too risky to let me of all people run free, the mission could easily be tracked back to them and hell would break loose. Several other arguments were raised until they sounded like rowdy buzzing bees and I couldn't figure out a single thing they were saying clearly.
However, everywhere went dead quiet when she screamed in a clear voice at them in response to their request.
"I'm the boss, I make the final decision and I know what I'm fucking doing. My decision is final" I'd never heard her sound so authoritative, she was truly an entirely different person when she was on mafia assignments, someone I barely knew or could relate to easily.
After her resounding reminder, they all acknowledged her decision and quickly began to walk away from me. As their footsteps receded, my anger reached heights I didn't know were possible, I didn't feel grateful that they let me live but I sure as hell knew that they would be sorry for the shit they pulled here today, and that was a promise I was willing to push past my limits to make come
true.
Even with the light footsteps I could hear I was determined to get a shot in, I didn't care if they killed me. I grabbed my gun and tried to aim it at her red heels but I could hardly hold my hands in a place nor could I muster enough energy to press the trigger, so I dropped it in agony.
The next thing I heard as their footsteps became impossible to hear was the revving of the trucks that contained the goods from the shipment. I knew that meant they were finally departing with the goods we'd worked so hard for and bled millions to procure safely into the country without ringing any alarms or drawing unnecessary attention our way.
And it was all my fault, no one else's.