Chapter 58 Love or something like that
AXEL
I took another shot and I gulped it down in one go.
The loud music and excited screams in the bar did nothing to better my mood and alleviate my worries. If anything, it was worsening it and I knew I should leave, I should go back home but I badly needed this distraction. I badly needed something or someone that'd take my mind off the turmoil that Lisa had plunged me into.
Or better put, the turmoil that Prince's observation had put me into.
"This is not just about you being into her, you're in love with her."
I was in love with her? No, I wasn't. I was clear on that as the day was daylight. I wasn't in love with Lisa. I couldn't be in love with her but what was this hollow hole in my heart? What was this hollow space in my heart after she walked away? What was this irrational need to call her and get her to go back on her words? What was this insane desire to call her and hear her voice? What was this bizarre need to go over and see her face and hear her laugh and just bask in the magic that was her existence?
Why was it that I was missing her so terribly and crazily and it wasn't even about the sex?
Why?
Was that love? Surely, that couldn't possibly be love.
"No, I'm not in love with her," I debunked, "it's just sex, she's a really great fuck and it'd mean I'm an unfeeling bastard if I don't miss that."
"I think we've all established the fact that you're an unfeeling bastard considering the number of people you've killed and even if you're lying to yourself, you shouldn't lie to me, it's obvious that you're in love with her. Even a layman will see that."
"I guess C47 is doing so well that you don't need any new innovations to up your games that's why you have time to come up with ridiculous theories so please."
"Don't patronize me, Axel. You want her, much more than the sex and physical intimacy but I guess we all know the reason why you don't even want to entertain that thought. Do you want to tell me that if she isn't Lisa Volkov, you won't entertain thoughts of considering dating her?"
"I don't date and you know that."
"Well, there can always be exceptions."
"Lisa Volkov can't be that exception and you know it. She's the daughter of the enemy for crying loud sake. Her father would have my head on a fucking platter if he knows that I've been touching his daughter inappropriately."
"At least, you're not denying that you're in love with her."
"God, Prince, just..." I trailed off as the harsh truth and reality dawned on me. There was no use denying the truth now, there was no use pretending that I didn't feel something deeper for her. There was no use lying to myself.
This has gotten way past physical intimacy and I know it.
"You're right," I confirmed his theory, "I'm not sure I love her because I don't even know what love feels like but I care about her a whole lot, I think about her a lot too, and heck, she makes me feel so happy and excited like a child."
It feels good to let it out, to finally admit it out loud to someone what Lisa Volkov had reduced me to.
"Yeah man, that's an elaborate way of saying you're ridiculously in love with someone."
"But what's the point? Lisa absolutely doesn't feel that way and she's the daughter of the enemy. It's not like I can openly date her or think about a future with her."
"Wow," he cackled, "now you're thinking about a future with her. Wow! This is unbelievable. Never thought there'd come a day when the almighty Alex Ivanov will be reduced to this because of a lady. What a time to be alive!"
"Stop it. Must you rob it? And I clearly said I'm not in love with her, I just happen to care about her."
"And you just happen to be thinking about how you might have a future with her if she's not the daughter of an enemy."
"Fuck you!"
"You mean you want to fuck Lisa Volkov? Sure! You can do that all you want if you think of a truce to get our families to settle."
"That's the last thing that will ever happen."
"Why not? The greatest mafia family rivalry and enmity always get solved through marriages. Our families will stop being on each others' necks you get married to Lisa Volkov, especially if you put a
the devil will only result in viciousness.
"He wouldn't want to do that to the father of his grandchild."
.
"I'm sure you're forgetting who Volkov is just because you're suddenly into the idea of me having something real with his daughter and that even brings us to the question, why are you suddenly an advocate of this thing between Lisa and me when you clearly warned me against getting involved with her in the first place."
"Well, you can't blame me, I just care about your happiness."
"Well, for your information, the only thing that can make me happy right now is pulling off this shipment that's coming into the city. Lisa Volkov and this irrational talk is a distraction I can't afford right
now."
That was how I shut him up and ended the conversation a day ago but that didn't mean it ended in my mind too because f there's one thing I've been doing a lot for the past 24 hours, it was thinking about Lisa Volkov.
Of course, there was no chance for us. There was no chance in hell that we'd even have a future together and I was supposed to stop thinking about her, to stop imagining the future with her.
I wanted to do that so badly but I couldn't. I couldn't stop thinking about her.
So finally, I dragged myself out of bed, out of my house to this place, this bar to get something to distract me, to take my mind off the distracting thoughts of Lisa Volkov but so far, the bar has been doing a very terrible bad job of doing that.
Every single thing was reminding me of her, the music, the girls, the males, the barman, my shots, every single damn thing! Geez! I've got it really bad for this woman.
I came here for a prospective fuck, to find a girl I'd be balls deep inside her all night so it'll really distract me from Lisa but so far, I've rejected all advances and I've frowned at every single girl that smiled in my direction and with the rate I was going, it looks like I was going to go home alone and that'd completely belly the reason why I came here in the first place.
My breathing got hitched all of a sudden and I felt her presence before I saw her. I turned around sharply to see Lisa Volkov making her way into the bar with another girl but my whole attention was on Lisa. She was pretty, effortlessly pretty, and smoking hot that every other thing faded into the recess of my mind as I stared. She was dressed in a short nude body gown that clung to her skin like a second skin, that stopped just inches below her ass and left those flawless legs bare for all to see.
My dick jumped to attention and I angrily slushed down another shot.
"Axel Ivanox," a low feminine voice whispered beside me and I turned around to see a familiar-looking girl slipping into the seat beside me.
"Isn't it a funny sight to see you drinking alone at the bar?" she sassed and I squinted my eyes while trying to figure out where I knew her from. Her voice was familiar as her face was and the low tremor of her voice made her sound like someone that was having sex and it instantly dawned on me where I knew her from. I've screwed her before, on numerous occasions. She was a daring girl with great sex appeal considering how she has a kink for having sex in public places.
And great! She was just the perfect girl to use as a distraction tonight.
"Remember me?" the girl purred and I struggled with recollecting her name. Her name was something along the line of Sharon or Shalom. I couldn't exactly remember. I allowed my eyes to dip lower to observe her body and I did a double take when I saw her boobs. Those weren't the boobs I remember burying my face in a couple of months ago and I was sure without a doubt that she must have gotten her boobs done.
"Like what you see?" she purred again and she leaned forward so her now enormous boobs were all in my face.
"It's unfathomable to see you alone in a place like this, especially because you've been completely into that classmate of yours that dresses like a saint one day and a stripper the next day."
I knew the girl she was talking about was Lisa and I knew the students had been talking about us. At the mention of her name, I turned to look at the booth where she was sitting down with her friend and my heart surged faster when I saw that they now had company and one of these companies seemed to be overly invested in Red with how he was leaning into her and how he was almost entering her.
My hand grabbed another shot at the same time Sharon or Shalom's palm landed on my thigh and she started massaging her way up.
"Why don't we rectify that?" she fisted my cock and started massaging it leisurely while gazing at me with lust-filled eyes, "why don't we find an empty store room to take care of this?"
I willed my body to react to her strokes, willed my brain to get an endorphin rush from this, willed my body to get pleasured from this, to enjoy this but I couldn't. Not when from the corners of my eyes, I could see the company taking Lisa's hand and leading her to the dance floor.
I could see Lisa turning so her back was to him, I could see her grinding against him, robbing her butt against his groin and my blood surged faster than it has ever had since I was born and before could process a thing, I was up on my feet, Sharon or Shalom long discarded and was on my way to where Lisa was grinding against that motherfucker.