Chapter 82 HIDDEN SCARS
Godiva POV
“Thank you.” Jerald turned to face me calmly before continuing.
“This may sound like an excuse, and I know that, but I just need to tell you this to give you a reason to trust me. I don’t know how exactly to say this, but I’ll try my best.”
I stayed quiet, giving him my full attention.
“I told you a while back that I was betrothed to Lis as a child because I wasn’t open to any girl. For a while I was home schooled because of my phobia, or should I say detest, for girls.”
He paused. “All of the fear and hate started when I was eight.”
His voice dropped with those last words. Taking a break, he drew in a shaky breath. “No one, not Ben, not my parents, no one knows the root of that fear and detest except Aunt Lin and I.”
“Aunt Lin, who is that?” I asked anxiously.
“She was my nanny since I could remember. Growing up, Ben was mostly with my Mum in another state, so I was left with Dad and Aunt Lin.”
He swallowed hard. “I... I... I uhmm...”
For the first time since I met Jerald, I saw him struggle with words.
“I was barely six when Aunt Lin began crossing lines with me,” he whispered finally.
My heart skipped. Jerald looked away from me, ashamed.
“She exposed me to things a child should never know. She made me do things I didn’t understand, things that made me cry every single time.”
His fingers trembled on his knees. He went on to narrate the molestation in details, my jaw dropped as he mentioned every bit of it. But he kept going.
“On one occasion, I cried so hard that she began threatening me. She warned me never to tell anyone about what was happening between us, including Ben. According to her, she’d use some native Chinese spell that would exterminate me and anyone I told.”
A bitter laugh escaped him. “How dumb was I to even believe her then?”
He laughed and wiped his tears at the same time. I wanted saying something, anything to comfort him. I wanted hugging him, but I was too dumbfounded to even do or say anything.
“Once when Mum returned with Ben, I cried to go back with her, but Dad protested, insisting I stayed back with him.” His breathing became uneven.
“The abuse went on for over three years and no one knew anything about it.” I slowly covered my mouth with my palm.
“At the age of eight, I guess it became too much for me. I became a shadow of myself, not talking to anyone. That was when Mum brought Ben back, hoping I’d get company.” He sniffed.
“I think the whole trauma caused a disorder which made me refrain from the female gender, except Lis, Dad’s closest friend’s daughter.” He finally looked at me.
“And until now, you kept this to yourself and didn’t tell Ben even now?” I asked, stuttering.
“You really don’t know how embarrassing that feels,” he muttered. “I’ve tried hard fighting the trauma, but it’s almost impossible.” His eyes were now bloodshot.
“Now Diva, this is my biggest scar. This was what made me this, this was what built who you all call a Casanova, this is what made me promiscuous when I finally opened up to mingling with women.”
He paused and dragged in another painful breath. “Right now, I’m fighting abstaining but these demons keep fighting me.”
My chest tightened. “And Diva...” his voice cracked.
“I really wanna fight back, but only if you’re willing to fight with me.” Tears rolled freely down his cheeks.
I had never felt helpless and sad like I did watching Jerald cry. I wasn’t able to render him any words of comfort. I kept gazing at him until he walked away and was out of sight.I didn’t realize when tears ran down my own cheek freely.
Sitting at that same position I stared blankly at the statue, still struggling to comprehend all I had just heard from Jerald.
Do these things even happen in reality or did he just form a sorry tale? I thought to myself, chuckling in disbelief.
“Div! Div!” Dina’s loud voice snapped me out of my thoughts.
“What is it, why are you out here spacing out?” Dina asked, bending to have a better view of my face.
She squinted. “Wait up, did you cry?”
“Nope I didn’t,” I denied, giving a fake smile.
“You know I’m not gonna believe that,” Dina muttered, sitting beside me.
“Jerald just apologized and I got all emotional, I guess it’s pre-menstrual syndrome,” I responded, forcing yet another fake smile.
“Aww, so I guess you’ve forgiven him now,” Dina squealed ecstatically, hugging me.
“Yes girl, so can you now leave me?” I smiled, trying to free myself from her grip.
“Jeez girl, I almost forgot what brought me here, guess what?” Dina asked enthusiastically.
“You know I can’t even guess,” I replied somberly.
“You’re getting discharged!” Dina screamed, clapping her hands excitedly.
“Oww that’s great,” I replied coldly.
“Really girl? This wasn’t the response I expected from you,” Dina frowned.
“I’m sorry, you just met me in a really emotional state,” I said, hugging her.
Mama, Mrs. Job, Dina and I walked back home in silence as though we were mourning.
A large part of me was tempted to tell Dina all Jerald had told me, but I couldn’t bring myself to doing such. Regardless of the fact Dina was my best friend, that was a scar he had hidden all his life.
“Close your eyes girls,” Mrs. Job announced the second we approached the door to our apartment.
“Why?” Dina asked arrogantly.
“Hey, you obey or leave,” Mrs. Job thundered at Dina.
I obediently closed my eyes because I wasn’t in the mood for any sort of dragging
or arguments.
“You can now open your eyes,” Mrs. Job said, handing Dina and I a brand new iPhone box.