CHAPTER 15

Marietta sighed with relief when she caught sight of Chris waiting for her at the airport. At first, she just marched straight at him, trying to concentrate on not breaking down. But little did she know that tears had already started rolling down her cheeks. The emotion that was surrounding her was too much. She felt her body drop into Chris’ hands and her heart into her stomach. She was back in Minnesota, where all the nightmares had begun and where they were apparently going to go on.

She felt Chris hold her tightly against his frame as he marched her to a waiting SUV. Marietta was relieved, there were no paparazzi there to document her arrival, and she didn’t want Toby to know where she was. Although she was grateful, he was giving her time to think, a little part of her was disappointed that he didn’t bother to chase after her. He did say he couldn’t go five months without seeing her and yet he just watched her as she walked out of their home.

Marietta stared out the window, seemingly counting the trees as they zoomed past. She lost count a couple of times when her thoughts went back to Toby, but she started all over again in the hopes of distracting herself.

“Jessie called me.” Chris said, breaking into her soothing mantra.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” She bit on her lip as she mused over a thought. “Does he know where I am?”

“Jessie promised not to tell.”

“I just need a few weeks,” she whispered.

“Are you actually going to deal with this or are you going to deal with it?” Chris asked as the car pulled into his driveway.

“There is no use weeping over spilled milk.” Marietta forced a smile to her lips, but it was obvious that Chris wasn’t buying her façade.

This was how Marietta operated. With Tobias the question of her distant emotions and how she dealt with things was never asked. She always seemed to be able to preoccupy him with sex. But in Chris’ case there was no chance of that. Fortunately, he understood her need for privacy. He was the only one left alive who understood her need to withdraw from her emotions. Chris and her father, that is.

Her eyes roamed around the small neighborhood as a chill ran through her. Usually, thoughts of her father didn’t affect her, but she was usually thousands of miles away. Being here a few blocks from where all the nightmares started, she felt terrified.

Chris noticed the faraway look in Marietta’s eyes. There was something else he could see in her eyes, terror. The last time he saw such fear in her eyes they were still kids chasing each other down the block. Even then he knew there was something odd about Marietta. He followed her gaze, but he couldn’t see anyone who stood out, or anyone who seemed to be staring back at her.

“Mattie!” he called out. Her head snapped towards him and there was that smile plastered on her face.

He hadn’t been around her for a while, so he wondered how Tobias handled all of this. Her past and how she ‘dealt’ with her emotions. Chris smiled back at her, his heart aching, “Let’s go inside, my mother is waiting.”

“I can smell her peach cobbler from here.” Marietta followed Chris into the house and once she was in the familiar scents of old spice and homemade cooking enveloped her.

Chris watched as she seemed to have been transported to a different place. Her eyes were closed but he could tell the smile was genuine. Now if only he could get her to be the same way with everything else. He laughed as he watched her leap into his mother’s arms and attack the cobbler settled in front of her.

Chris thought back to when they were children. He would walk to Marietta’s house to see her brother David. More times than not he found them sitting on their front porch. It was obvious they were sad, but he was too young to understand why. He usually brought both to his house and his mother would feed them peach cobbler and suddenly, they were kids once again. He sat at the table across from her and watched as Marietta used the cobbler as a bandage. There were so many questions he wanted to ask, that he hadn’t since the time they were back in touch. Part of him had felt like he had abandoned her, but he knew that she needed her solitude to deal with everything.

He didn’t know if rehashing the past was a good idea, but he needed to know how she was handling the Tobias thing. Chris watched as she jelled with her environment. Getting comfortable in one of his t-shirts and settling on the couch, with popcorn drowned in melted cheese and a movie. It wasn’t until it was over that he started the conversation, hoping to ease her into the actual topic.

“How can you watch movies, knowing that you wrote most of them?” He started to reach for her popcorn but the slimy way they slid off each other changed his mind.

“I don’t watch my own, and I love knowing someone else’s story.” She shrugged.

“What’s yours?” This time Chris had turned his body toward her, not willing to let her out of his sight until he saw some emotional reaction.

“Tobias and I just need this time to be apart.”

“You’re not angry?”

“I am, but not at him though.” She popped another corn in her mouth, “I always expected him to do something like this. It’s a wonder it’s taken this long.” Chris knew she had seen the shock on his face. She stared at him long and flat then went on, “You are the only one I can trust for the long haul.”

“What about your husband?”

“I love him. I just want to give him some space.” She sat up as if she was sharing a bit of gossip with her best friend, “I never understood how he could love me. Maybe he’s finally come to his senses.”

“Don’t say that.” Chris noted that Marietta’s expression had closed. The instant smile that appeared on her face was misleading, but her eyes weren’t. Maybe that was the reason she always kept that part of herself hidden. “Does he know about…Robert?”

It pained him to have to bring up those memories, but he needed to understand her. When they were younger, they were in tune, but now it was like he had to learn how to read her all over again. He doubted that Tobias knew he was living with a woman as close to a machine as his DVD. Marietta pulled away from him, not physically but he could feel her absence. He could understand her not wanting to share the information with just everyone but her husband for three years, he should know by now. “You are starting a family with him; he should know these things.”

“If I had told him, he would never have been his true self with me.” She shrugged again, “Now I know I can’t trust him.”

“At the airport I saw you cry. I saw the pain in your eyes. But now it seems like you are trying to hide from it.” He held her chin in his hand and stared right through her, but all he saw was a wall that seemed to have come up in the past few seconds.

“My love story is over.” She smiled. “I cry at the end of every sad movie.”

“This isn’t a movie, but you are in control of how it ends.” He wished that was true. Marietta was much more complacent with her life than she was with one of her stories. She never expected anything from people but thought that people expected everything from her. Chris was convinced a long time ago that she lived vicariously through the characters she created in her head. The women were strong and there was always a happily ever after for them, even though their men counterparts died.

“No one ever is.” She kissed his cheek and jumped to her feet, “See you in the morning.”