CHAPTER 14
Present time….
“Our home, our bed.” Marietta gasped out.
For the past three years this was what she had known this place to be. It was their sanctuary, her and Tobias’ that was why she didn’t understand the picture in front of her. What the hell was going on?
Marietta never thought that things would escalate to this. They had been fighting, but their fights always revolved around the same thing. Tobias wanted a baby and Marietta at the time had been unable to give him one. After countless doctors’ appointments, six IVF treatments, she had given up. Her body wasn’t ready and emotionally she wasn’t either. But Tobias wanted to push on. He had witnessed how her battered body was being affected by all the treatments but having a baby seemed so important to him. He was desperate.
She hadn’t seen him for a couple of weeks, she had been excited to share the news, but here she was faced with an image she was sure would stay with her forever. Tobias jumped to his feet and dragged his pants up as he threw a cover over his naked female companion. He turned to face her and took slow steps towards her, as if he stalked towards her. Her chest heaved as her hand flew to her mouth and her belly. The overpowering feeling to hurl came over her. Marietta dropped her bag and ran into the toilet.
Marietta felt as if her guts were spilling out of her. She felt a cool towel being placed on her neck as someone held onto her hair. At that moment she was grateful for the help. She turned around and ended up staring into Tobias’ apologetic eyes. She looked closer and saw a tear glisten in his eyes. Marietta wanted to wrap her arms around him and comfort him, tell him everything would be okay, but she couldn’t. She could feel the bile rise from her belly once more. But this time she didn’t want to throw up.
“How could you?” She turned her head towards the bedroom as a thought dawned on her, “Was that—?” She scrambled to her feet and marched into the bedroom despite Tobias trying to hold her back. Her jaw dropped as she watched the woman get dressed on her bed, “Sarah! Get out of my bed!”
Marietta was sure that she had finally gone insane. She leaped on the bed as she tried to get her hands on the home wrecker. Sarah yelped as she tried to duck away but Marietta had managed to get a firm grip on her blond locks. Marietta felt the hands rain down on her as they tried to loosen her grip on Sarah’s hair. This moment could only be described as that of a rabid dog gone wild on her foe. Marietta snarled at them as she pulled Sarah out of the bedroom, tossing her and her clothes out of the house.
“Get out! Get out! If I see you anywhere near my home or my family…so help me God, nothing will save you,” she roared then banged the door closed.
“You need to calm down, Mattie.” Jessie said as she moved to Marietta’s side.
Marietta knew she had to calm down. But she couldn’t bottle up the rage that was boiling inside her. With Tobias nowhere to be seen Marietta sat down quietly for a moment, dealing slowly with the building anger. But when Tobias emerged from the room fully dressed Marietta shot up to her feet and lunged at him.
A bit of steel slipping into her tone, she pounded at his chest as she wailed, “I hate you. I hate you so much.” A shadow crossed over his face and his expression immediately closed. Marietta restrained herself from catching the tear that rolled down his cheek. “I’ll catch every tear that falls out of your eyes. I’ll kiss the pain away, my arms will be your source of strength and solitude, my heart a place for our love to grow, my love the only truth that I know, my life a loyal submission to yours.”
“Why are you telling me my wedding vows?” Tobias’ voice cracked with emotion as he stared at her with heavily lidded eyes.
Her voice almost as low as his she said, “You promised and now you broke that promise. And I hate you for that. I told you the one thing I cannot forgive is betrayal. I trusted you.”
“Mattie, you need to remember what the doctor said.” Jessie said once more.
A twist of fear wrenched through her as her hand dropped to her belly. Her heart closed at the very thought of going through that terrible ordeal one more time. She took a couple of deep breaths and tried to settle the nerves raging through her. Marietta looked up at him and studied the hard planes of his face. They were supposed to be celebrating and not fighting, but the fates seemed to be having a laugh at her expense once again. Words of anger sat on her tongue, making her throat thicken, but she had to prioritize.
****
“What’s wrong with you? What did the doctor say?” Tobias knew Marietta to be a very passionate person, even in her anger. Nothing could stop her from her path of fury, so seeing her calm herself in a second was strange. He had been thinking of how he was going to explain his betrayal, but he came up empty. ‘I was drinking, and it happened’ didn’t seem like the appropriate explanation, even though it was the truth. But now knowing that there was something wrong with her made his insides chill from fear.
“Will someone please answer me?” Tobias barked out in anticipation.
He watched as Marietta tiptoed and moved her head forward, her face close to him. Her hand seemed to caress his neck then her palm rested on his chest. She brushed her lips against his, and a strange eddy of fear, pain, excitement, and desperation fizzled inside his chest when he heard her say, “I’m pregnant.”
As she tried to move away from him, he grabbed her arms and pulled her body against his. “Don’t play with me. How far along are you?”
“Four months.
“How long have you known?”
“Twelve hours. For three years we have been praying and waiting for this baby. You didn’t care that all those doctors’ appointments, hormone treatments and the fact that I was a pin cushion bothered me.” Her voice remained calm although the emotion behind it made him cringe.
“I did, I did care. But we wanted a baby.” For years he had wanted to fill the void the loss of their first baby had left in his heart. He thought it had been his duty to both to make sure that they didn’t give up. So, he pushed a little too hard, but he always managed to convince himself that they would celebrate the effort once the baby was here. His hand brushed hers aside and he laid it on her belly. The baby was there, he could feel his heart leap in celebration. But he had screwed everything up. His depression had led him to the bottle and the bottle to Sarah. But he had a baby, he finally had a baby.
“Now we have a baby. You knocked me up and out of your life.” Marietta clapped sarcastically, “Congratulations.”
“We are pregnant.” He couldn’t restrain the hope in his voice. But that was soon crushed by the steel in her voice.
“No, I’m pregnant. You just happen to be the guy who knocked me up.” Marietta chuckled and the sound of it was like an icy tip piercing through his heart. A horrible dread tugged at his gut and lower, dragging him down, “I told you I always lose the people I love, my mother, brother, the baby and now you. But I won’t lose this baby it’s the only thing that is keeping me sane right now.”
“We need to fix our relationship before the baby comes,” he pleaded.
“I have nothing to fix.” Marietta pulled out of his embrace. How could she fix this? He had cursed her the first time he touched her. She hadn’t thought about him for three years, but her life was unraveling, and it was his fault. How could she expect anyone to love her?
Tobias let her go afraid that restraining her or aggravating her further would have an impact on the baby. “You can’t keep me away from my child.”
“I would never do that. I know how it feels to grow up without a father and I wouldn’t do that to our baby. You are going to be a great father, but I should have listened when you said you weren’t a relationship person.” He listened to the tremble in her voice, and he loathed himself for being the cause of her pain, “We can’t be together. When I’m close to my due date, I’ll come back.”
“Come back, what do you mean come back?” Tobias followed her into their bedroom, “Where are you going?”
“I can’t stay here. This isn’t my home anymore. I don’t have a place here.” Marietta fussed with the safe, groaning each time she came up with a wrong combination. She steadied her hand and paused before having a go at it again. When the safe door opened, she sighed, grabbing her passport she headed for the door.
“Please don’t leave.” She froze when he stood before her, the picture of a broken man.
“I’ll be back.”
“Five months from now. I cannot go that long without seeing you.”
“This is how it has to be for now.” She knew she was supposed to hate him, but she couldn’t. It hurt her more that she was hurting him. The fault was on his part but al she wanted to do was to wrap her arms around him and tell him everything was going to be okay. But she couldn’t. She didn’t know where they could go from here. She needed to leave if not to save their marriage, then to save their friendship. Staying around the scene of his infidelity would only make her loathe him even more. “I can’t stay here. I don’t have a place here anymore. Besides, we have been fighting for so long.”
“That was only because we couldn’t get pregnant, but now-” Tobias said.
She shivered when he touched her belly. She took a step back to clear her head from the mixed emotions running through her.
“We need the separation. What you did here-” Marietta shrugged, “-just gave us the opportunity.”
She forced herself to be more brazen, stopping only to place a kiss on his throat before walking out. Marietta picked up her suitcase and half ran half walked out of the apartment. She turned a deaf ear to Jessie and Toby as they called out for her. She needed to deal with this, and she needed to do it alone.
Tobias watched helplessly as the love of his life and his child disappeared from his sight.
****
Marietta looked around as she felt as if a million eyes were on her. No doubt some of them would recognize her. Before Tobias she was just another mind behind a script. Now she was Mattie Harden on the cover of magazines, standing at the side of one of Hollywood’s best. Marietta missed her somewhat quiet life, especially when she didn’t have Tobias at her side to help her through the flash bulbs. She was in no mood to interact with anyone, not even her loyal fans. She pulled her hair out of its tight bun and the thickness of it framed her face, and her shades did the rest.
She stood in front of the departure board. She could go anywhere she wanted in the world. Marietta stared at the passport in her hand but wondered how far she was willing to go to get away from her husband. ‘Not too far’ a small voice said inside her. She still wanted to be able to get to Tobias just in case anything happened. The memory of losing her first baby haunted her and the fear almost crippled her. She was going to need to be close just in case.
Marietta fished her phone from her purse, all the while keeping her head low. “Where are you?”