CHAPTER 16

Chris watched as Marietta interacted with his ‘special friend from work.’ It had been two months and all Marietta did was write, watch movies and act like someone who didn’t have a husband waiting for her thousands of miles away. He knew that it was very odd that she had taken a back seat to her marriage. This wasn’t the woman he had walked down the aisle. That was when he decided to hire a secret therapist, it helped that Jessie and Tobias backed him up.

Although he never told the two what the problem really was, he knew he could easily convince them it was what was good for her. Jessie only wanted the best for her friend, and Tobias just wanted his wife back. Though he had neglected to tell Tobias where they were, he sent him pictures of Marietta’s growing belly. Chris did want to put his fist squarely in Tobias’ face, but there would be time for that later.

The suggestion of contacting professional help soon turned into a necessity when the nightmares began. David had told him about the nightmares when they were children. Chris was seven, Marietta was six and David five. David didn’t understand the nightmares at first until he saw the reality. He had been too young to do anything at that point, but when he turned nine, he became the real man of the house. Chris wondered why Marietta hadn’t even attempted to visit her mother’s and brother’s grave. She had been there for two months, writing mostly but the rest of her time was filled with sleeping, going to the doctor, and reading baby books. Most of these activities were done in his bed.

He leaned on the wall his arms crossed as he watched the seemingly harmless conversation. Chris’ friend, Tasha, was a behavioural analyst in the police force. She had agreed to do him a favour. It beat seeing a therapist who wouldn’t break doctor patient privilege Marietta seemed responsive and Tasha nodded her head and listened. This was going better than he expected. Usually Marietta was allergic to therapists, they were like a bad itch to her. Sharing her miseries wasn’t something she thought was necessary. ‘People have enough problems of their own. Besides no one is strong enough carry mine.’ Chris thought that would be Tobias. He had managed the miscarriage so well, but it seemed that he too had been deceived by the façade Marietta put up.

Chris stood up straight when Tasha rose and walked towards him. He smiled expectantly but that soon fizzled out when he saw the confused frown on the woman’s face. “She has more locks, keys and secret trunks in her than I have seen in ten people with her case. She has built a world for herself. She should be unraveling considering that her world seems to have come apart, but she is building one in its place. I’m not the one she wants to talk to. You should get her husband here. Part of her needs him to be that one person but part of her is terrified that he won’t be able to handle it. With the infidelity, she could have just written him off completely.”

Out of context, Chris found himself laughing at the woman’s choice of words, ‘Written him off.’

“What’s so funny?”

“She’s a writer and they met because she wrote a part for him in a movie.” A dark realization dawned on him, “Does she really love him or is it an illusion?”

“That I can answer.” The doctor shot Marietta a look. “She is pissed off. She may try not to show it. I guess that is a defense mechanism. But I swear if her husband was here, she would have ripped him to shreds.”

“That’s a good thing?”

“That’s the best thing. She’s emotionally void, love and anger for her husband may just pull her out of this hole she’s hiding in.” The therapist said her goodbyes then left.

“Did you think that I didn’t know?” Chris saw the anger the therapist was talking about when she stomped before him. If it weren’t for that bulge under her t-shirt, he was sure she would have attacked him. “I knew she was a therapist. I’m grateful that you are looking out for me, but I am dealing with this my way.”

“Mattie,” Chris didn’t speak until she turned to face her, “I thought we could go to the cemetery today.”

She shrugged her shoulder and took her coat from the rack. She opened the front door and looked back at him expectantly. Chris wondered where she was off to. She had barely left the house, only taking short walks down the block, where was she going now.

“Are we going or what?”

“You mean now?” Chris followed her, “I didn’t mean we should go to the cemetery now.” He stopped talking when she settled in his truck and buckled her seat belt, “Well I guess we can go now.”

He watched her from the corner of his eye. At first, she had this long faraway look as she stared at something outside the window. Chris couldn’t see what, especially since he only had a fraction of a second to look before his eyes were back on the road. Once they drove down the block, Marietta turned and looked through the back window then suddenly, she turned facing the front. Marietta hummed a tune as she drummed on his dashboard.

“I miss Toby.” She frowned. Then almost immediately the frown was replaced by a smile as she waved at the little kids playing on their lawns, “If my baby hadn’t died, Toby would be teaching him how to ride a bike. Of course, it would be a tricycle. But it would have been awesome to watch him grow up, don’t you think?”

“Sure, it would have been awesome.” Chris fought the urge to turn the car around and point it at the nearest psychiatric hospital. He was quite sure suggesting a visit to the cemetery wasn’t a good idea after all. “Are you having a nervous breakdown?” He asked once they were at a stop light. Chris stared into her face hoping to get a read on some sort of an emotion. He almost didn’t believe it, but he did catch the sadness in her eyes and tremble of longing in the tone of her voice.

“Can’t I think about him?” She asked, “He grew inside of me for six months and I never got to bond with him. Can’t I just miss my baby without you thinking that I’m going crazy?”

“I’m sorry I said that. Of course, you can miss him.” He stretched out his hand and she took it. Giving it a squeeze, he hoped that he hadn’t completely offended her.

Marietta squeezed back and smiled, “Do you know that Toby was terrified to touch me those six months before we got married. Then for a year he couldn’t take his hands off me. When I didn’t get pregnant then, he suggested treatment. I didn’t want to. For the next two years he became obsessive about it. I could see the sadness in his eyes, he was never able to get over the…” she bit down on her lip and paused. Marietta rubbed her round belly, “Now here she is. I believe in the laws of nature letting things happen when they should, letting life fall into place. There is a reason for everything that happens to us, you know.” She chuckled but there was nothing but a cold echo in her laughter, “I have to believe that, considering everything that has happened. I have to believe that.”

“I know.” Chris swallowed the lump of emotion that had formed in his throat. He pulled into the cemetery and parked the car. He walked around to the passenger side and helped Marietta out of the truck, “You are getting huge.”

“You think so.” Her eyes lit up.

Chris realized that the emotion only existed when she was talking about Tobias, their baby, and their lives. He wished the past didn’t exist. Although it pained him to see her upset, it comforted him when she cried about her husband and her dead baby, it pleased him when she giggled each time the baby inside her kicked. He needed her to be Marietta Harden and not Marietta Samuels. Marietta Parks had managed to hold on to her sanity but that hold, he could see in her eyes, was slowly slipping away.

“She’s going to be a big baby. Toby will have to find a crib that can carry a hundred tons.” She chuckled just before she stepped on the grass.

Chris immediately took note of the change. The giggles were gone, the laughter in her eyes disappeared and was replaced by pain. Pain that he couldn’t describe or even imagine being subjected to. This was the grown Mattie, and he could see she was having a difficult time handling the atmosphere of where they were, he wondered how the seventeen-year-old Mattie had managed to bury her family.

“Do you know, after my father left, David always said, I’ll be the number one guy in your life.” She didn’t bother with the tears that fell freely from her eyes. “And mom would say, wait until she falls in love.”

“He almost kicked my ass that summer.” Chris chuckled.

“I think he always knew that he was going to get sick. It’s the only reason he let you take me to the junior prom.” She steadied herself on Chris’ arm as she sank to the ground sitting in between the two graves, crossing her legs as far as she could. “Don’t let him kiss you.”

“Is that what he said to you?” Chris laughed and sat beside her, “That cock blocker.”

“He always wanted me to marry you. He said that you would always take care of me, that you would never hurt me. David said you would accept me for who I am because you knew what happened to me,” she whispered.

“I didn’t think you knew.” Chris had never been able to bring the subject of abuse up. He thought it would be better for her, that she would be more comfortable if she didn’t know he knew.

“Oh please!” She punched his arm, “You need to give me more credit dude. That thing you said to me before you deflowered me on senior prom.”

Chris laughed and buried his face in his hands, “It was cheesy wasn’t it.”

“But it meant the world to me.” She pulled his hands free and investigated his face, “You will never know how much those cheesy two sentences meant to me.”

He kissed her cheek and tried to keep the mood light, “You have to admit I have got game. The words might have been cheesy, but I got to look up your skirt.”

“You did more than look up my skirt.” Marietta chuckled then sighed. When she looked over at her mother’s grave her hands wrapped her belly protectively. “I never did get it. I would pretend to understand but I never did get it until now.”

“Get what?” Chris realized that her arms were around her belly. At first, he panicked, thinking that she might have been in pain, and something was wrong with the baby. But she gave no indication that anything was wrong.

“I never completely understood why she killed herself until the first time I felt the baby kick.”

“She could have sought out a different method.” There was bitterness in his tone. People never wanted to leave the ones they loved but Marietta’s mother did.

“She worked long hours and I never told anyone. She left her children with the one person she could trust their father. My mother knew we were safe. I can only imagine how she felt when she found out. I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself either.” She shivered then turned her head to the right.

Chris looked up at her when she had fallen silent for more than a couple of seconds. That was when he saw what she was staring at. He was standing there watching them as if it was normal. Chris jumped to his feet and helped Marietta up. He tried to get her to walk but she looked like she was trapped by the man’s gaze.

“He’s been watching me, you know?” She said the flatness back in her voice.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Then what?” she paused, “He’s my father, there is no way I can get rid of him. There is just no way.”

“How could you call him that after what he did?” Chris asked, gently shaking her.

When she finally looked into his eyes, he wished that he hadn’t, “He was the one man in my life supposed to love and protect me unconditionally. You ask me why I don’t hold Tobias more accountable for cheating. He’s why. If he can betray me, what stops the rest of the world from betraying me too?”

Chris found himself grabbing Marietta by the elbow and dragging her to the truck. He noticed when her step faltered, his other arm was ready to catch her if it was necessary. But she didn’t stumble because he was dragging her, but because she couldn’t seem to be able to break the locked gaze she had with her father.

When they got back home, Chris packed up his mother and Marietta. He wanted to go as far away from Robert Samuels as he could, as soon as possible. He knew he could relocate her, but it was obvious that he didn’t have the means to ensure she was protected. He had to call in for reinforcements.

Chris watched as Marietta laughed with his mother as they went through old family albums. “Hey it’s me. How soon can you get here?”

Once everyone was loaded in the car, Chris looked around for anything suspicious before he pulled out of the driveway. He was about to drive off towards his country home just outside the city when Marietta turned the steering wheel in the other direction.

“What the hell! Are you crazy?” He exclaimed.

“You seem to think so,” she shot back, “I want to drive past the old house.”

“It’s not there anymore, remember? You sold it and they broke it down. The only things there are the new developments.” From her expression he knew she understood but still she was adamant about going.

He drove down the block toward the new complexes where Marietta’s house used to be. It looked so different there was no evidence of what had happened there all those years ago.

“Stop!” Chris slammed on the brake. He watched her as she stared out the window and realized that she was in another locked trance with Robert. He wanted to go out there and give the man what he deserved but he couldn’t. Getting Marietta out of there was his priority.

He turned the car around and sped down the road, ignoring his mother’s exclamations for him to slow down.