Chapter Seven

“Let’s go, Ma’am.” It was as if I was dead, following the man. Fortunately, Jojo was also able to support me in the back, so my weak knees did not give up.

“Are you really okay, Ma’am Jewel?”

I nodded weakly. I also don’t know how to explain when I say no.

Did he just call me “Ma’am”? And what is he doing here? What is really going on?!

My whole system was frustrated when we finally arrived at my own office. Rod didn’t even turn around to me.

If he says anything, it looks like he only cares about work.

“All right, Ma’am. I’ll be back to work. Don’t be afraid of Rod Antonio, and he’s hardworking!” Jojo said before he received a weak blow from Rod.

He looks different. Hee was obviously tired because of his messy hair and even his tired eyes, but I knew he was happy. I’ve never seen those eyes before. It looks like these smiles show pure purity. It was vague in what I saw as a pure pretense.

Our last conversation came back to my mind. He regrets fighting with me in our dream life. His insecurities ate him even though, in reality, we did not need luxury.

My only wish for Jihan and our family is to be happy and safe.

He can’t tell me now that our family needs money, that I need money because if yes, if I really only want money, I can’t think of leaving home then. I can’t imagine fighting with him and suffering for four years.

When I think over and over again, the feeling also becomes clearer to me. My remorse is clearer.

“—about this, Ma’am?”

I just blinked, but I could not take my eyes off the man in front of me.

Does he not remember me? He is not affected by what is happening to me?

“D-Do you know me?”

He laughed softly, then turned to me - the smile still lingered on his lips far, far away from Rod Antonio that I have been accustomed to for four years.

It was as if he had suddenly returned to being the happy Rod that I first met in college.

“Come on, Ma’am. You rarely come into this office, but I already know you because Sir Jelo always tells us about you,” he said gently.

He went straight to look at the broken aircon that was there and then asked for my permission again, but I just nodded to myself.

The whole time he checked the aircon, he did not talk to me.

And that is not what I expected. That’s not what I want.

What is really going on? I’m in a mess.

“Ma’am, I’ll just turn down the aircon first. I’ll just fix it there so you won’t be disturbed—”

“No!”

We were both shocked by my sudden scream. Now, I am getting desperate. He needs to remember me.

I do not know everything that is going on, and it is impossible that perhaps what is on my mind, but I have to act.

This is wrong.

I know I also want to be with Mommy, but I will never want to lose my family.

Rod. . . Jihan.

How is Jihan? What about my son if Rod can’t remember me? If he is not involved in what is happening to me?

Is it possible for me to go back in time? For what? To correct all the mistakes, I can think of? To undo everything I may regret later?

“W-What, Ma’am?”

I swallowed several times just to calm myself down. “You can fix that here, and I just want to see. T-Then, I will also leave later for the meeting. I hope someone will watch over it,” I explained, trembling.

“Can I?”

In a panic, I immediately turned my attention to the front of the laptop. “Yes, please.”

I made sure I looked busy while he was also busy with what he was doing. Even though I was trembling, I could do nothing. I’m okay with looking at him while preparing the next plans.

On a laptop, I decided to search for anything connected with the dream or if it could happen in real life.

How can a twenty-six-year-old like me go to the year 2016 when people consider me twenty-two years old?

” H-How old are you?” I prefer to be formal and gentle. Because if he really does not know me, it is possible that he will be afraid of me.

“Twenty-four, Ma’am.”

I could not speak again. My suspicion is correct, and it really does not know what is happening. I was the only one affected.

When lunch arrived, Rod just said goodbye and said he would be back after lunch. While I stayed inside, the tires were still messed up, and couldn’t believe it all.

Which is really the real and dream?

I was starting to question everything when suddenly there was a knock on my office door. Later, Rod was thrown out carrying a paper bag.

“Ma’am, it looks like you have no intention of eating, so I brought you food.” Shocked by Rod’s actions, I could not speak. It was as if I wanted to scream. I want to ask here if he really regrets everything, but it is also vague that he can answer that, especially since he does not even know that we really have a child.

I do not know what is true.

I can’t help but think that this is the real event then everything that happened to the four people I know was just a dream. . . maybe it was just a dream that I was twenty-six, and it was also just a dream that Rod and I were together and had a son named Jihan.

No. . .

That’s not possible!

I know that is true! You can’t just lose and forget it all.

I just groaned when I was suddenly struck by a sense of pain.

“Ma’am! Ma’am, are you all right?”

Rod. . . is all that just a dream?

Is it just a dream that he loved me?

“Please put the food on my table, I-I. . . I’ll just eat it later. I’ll take care of adding that to your salary. . . You can leave me first,” I said in a mess. It’s good that he came out right away.

I still have no message from mommy, and instead of texting me, I decided to open the paper bag that Rod gave me.

He is still. . . the thoughtful Rod Antonio.

I remember he did not miss a day without asking me how my day was.

When I opened it, an order of rice and Menudo came to me. That was the food we used to share.

My tears began to flow because of the frustration I was feeling. Why do I understand nothing? Why is it that until now, I still do not really know what is happening?

I feel like I’m going crazy. I do not know the truth and the dream. I don’t know who I really am.

“Ma’am—”

When Rod returned with his belongings to continue repairing the aircon, I quickly wiped the tears from my cheeks and then turned my attention back to the laptop in front of me.

“It’s not good to cry alone, Ma’am.”

The man’s words made me cry even more. This time, I wanted to hug him. I want him to calm me down again. I want to hear him say that he is just here for me like before.

“I-In that case, can you join me later?” I asked directly while still wiping the tears from my eyes.

“Huh?”

“Come with me. I just need a drinking companion–”

“Uh, Ma’am.” He stopped what I was saying, so I turned to him. “I don’t think it’s a good idea. . .”

“Come with me after then. I triple your salary for this month,” I said coldly.

I know what I am doing is wrong, I know I should not force him, but I am desperate to be clear. I want to know if he really knows anything or if he really does not remember.

“A-All right, Ma’am. I will not be able to refuse your offer, but I will not be able to stay up too late,” he explained.

“Until nine pm, is that okay?”

When he nodded and smiled, I could only breathe easily. Now, I will plan what I can do to find out the truth.