Chapter 3

I heard my name being called a few times before I managed to peel my eyes open. I winced and squeezed my eyes closed at the sharp lights of the bright bulbs that was hell bent on rendering me blind as I slowly pushed myself into a sitting position before trying to peel my eyes open again. 

My eyes locked with Jonas’s this time, and I blinked a few times as I tried to recollect whatever it was that led to this current situation. I glanced at the television and saw that it was completely blank, before it all hit me all at once. I was waiting for him to be done with his game so I could talk to him... right?

About what?

I tore my eyes away from the television and focused on Jonas, who was quietly crouched before the couch I was currently sitting on. After staring at each other for a few more seconds, Jonas finally pushed to his feet and turned away. My hands quickly shot out to grab his wrist, halting his departure.

“Um, Jonas?” I said quietly as I wet my dry lips with my tongue. I blinked up at him.

“Yeah? You said you wanted to talk to me about something, which was why I woke you up, but you’re not saying a thing,” Jonas answered, his right hand running through his curls before finally falling to his side while his left wrist still stayed clutched between my hands. 

“So, yeah. About that...” I started to say as I averted my gaze from his and glanced at my hands wrapped around his wrist for a moment before I slowly untangle my fingers and allowed his hand to drop before I settled mine on my thighs.

“So, about last night,” I paused and swallowed emptily, why is this so fucking hard?

Maybe it’s because you don’t know what to say?

“Look, I’m sorry about last night, alright? I got carried away, that’s all.” Jonas decided to jump in when I kept leaving incomplete sentences. He paused and I watched as he folded his hands against his naked chest before continuing.

“I’m sorry I ignored the fact that you have a girlfriend, it was probably because of all the drink I had last night, hope we’re cool?” 

I gnawed on my lower lips as I watched his folded arms and the way his biceps bulged out. Damn he sure was packing a lot of muscles. I glanced beneath his folded arms and felt my lips go dry once again as I took in his toned stomach. He was only standing a few feet away from me which made it much easier for me to take in his good-looking body. His dangerously low sweatpants were almost sliding off his hips to reveal his extremely outlined V.

I averted my gaze from his crotch and swallowed once again before pushing my hair away from my face. I glanced up at him to find him watching me intently with a raised eyebrow. I flushed deeply with embarrassment as I ducked my head and cursed my stupid self. Just why the hell was I checking him out again?

I pushed myself onto my feet and swayed a little due to how fast I stood up before righting myself with the back of my knees against the couch, I puffed out a breath as I stood really close to Jonas who still haven’t moved an inch with his hands still wrapped around his middle.

“You keep checking me out, Andy,” Jonas drawled out flatly and my eyes snapped wide open in horror and dread. “What?” I shrieked hysterically with my mouth wide open and my heart beating fast.

“I said you keep checking my whole body out,” Jonas rephrased and it felt like iced water got poured into my shirt with how much I felt shivers of dread slid down my spine.

“I wasn’t. That’s disgusting,” I argued immediately as I tried taking a step away from him. It felt like his whole presence was suffocating me. My confusion was so thick, I could barely breathe. But the backs of my knees resting against the edge of the couch reminded me that there was nowhere to go.

“Disgusting or not, you were definitely checking me out. Not once, not twice, more than three times, Andy,” Jonas snapped angrily, glaring into my face.

That’s disgusting... I’m disgusting...

“That was definitely a mistake. I don’t check guys out... I don’t look at guys that way,” I choked out weakly. My heartbeat was running miles.

“Well, you did look at me that way, so I’m not sure it was a mistake. Have you suddenly forgotten what transpired between us last night, huh?” Jonas continued and I felt my heart drop into my stomach. Of course Jonas had to bring that up again.

“That was a mistake too. I was drunk—” I started to argue slowly, but Jonas rolled his eyes before cutting me off.

“You didn’t even drink a full beer, Andy. Try again.”

“Um,” I gnawed on my lips as I fiddled with my fingers. I avoided Jonas’s burning gaze but could feel it digging into my skin.

“Okay, maybe I do check you out sometimes, but that’s because you have a really amazing body, not because I’m attracted to you or anything because I’m not. I’m not gay or something like that, it’s just that...” I trailed off realizing that I had just admitted to the fact that I check him out sometimes and that I find him good looking. I flushed as I chewed on my cheeks and glanced at my short nails which looked boring and tiny compared to Jonas’s, which were always coated in paint.

Jonas’s chuckles drew my attention back to his face and I watched as he bit on his lip piercing while looking into my eyes before drawling out, “So you think I’m good looking?”

I ducked my head in embarrassment as I shook my head with a small scowl covering my face, “No, I don’t think so. I mean, you are. Everyone’s gonna think you are after taking a glance at you. It’s not a big deal.”

I glanced up from my nails after admitting that to find Jonas eyes trailing back up from my whole body to rest on my face once again. I swallowed and pushed my hair out of my face before jolting with a small gasp when Jonas was suddenly directly in front of me until there was almost no space between us.

“You know what’s disgusting? The fact that you keep denying something you obviously want,” Jonas said. His eyes watched my every move. I closed my parted lips, feeling guilty and confused once again. I tried to duck my head again this time, but Jonas’s hand shot out and gripped my chin.

“Nah, ah. Not this time. You’re not hiding away from this. You’re facing it here and now,” Jonas informed me. His grip tightened on my chin, and I shivered a little as his deep voice washed over my whole body against my will. I stared into his eyes, and I faintly felt his fingers brush against mine, which made me squirm a little.

“Um,” I started to say, but nothing came forth. I swallowed as my gaze dropped to Jonas’s lips. His lips were just the perfect size, not too full and not too tiny, I felt my mouth go dry as I stared at his lip piercing and the way the light caught it, making it twinkle sexily... I wonder how that piercing would feel against my lips, or against my throat, or against other parts of my body. I felt my knees weaken as those thoughts flowed into my head. I shivered a little and squeezed my eyes shut for a few seconds as I tried reminding myself about that fact that I shouldn’t even be thinking about kissing him again since that act was disgusting as fuck.

Except that it didn’t feel disgusting at all last night.

“Do you want this?” Jonas asked and I watched his lips hover above mine. I shook my head even though my mind screamed, ‘Yes, I do!’

What I actually said was, “I shouldn’t want this, it’s disgusting.”

“Do you want this or not?” Jonas asked again, ignoring my previous reply.

I shook my head. “I don’t.”

His grip finally loosened from my chin, and he took a step back, taking the warmth with him. He stood a few inches away and stared at me for a few minutes before turning around and heading out of the sitting room, and I didn’t stop him this time. I watched him go with a tight pang in my chest while I kept asking myself in my head why he didn’t just kiss me like last night without questions, I knew I’d never be able to resist him tonight like I did last night.

I breathed out a sigh as I fell back into the couch and groaned quietly into my palms before pushing the hair out of my face and chewing on my lips for a few seconds.

Oh well...

Maybe it’s for the best anyways.

******

- Thursday.

I was already dreading the next morning even before I rolled out of bed and did a few morning stretches to take the creaks out of my muscles. I checked the time on my phone, it was some minutes past seven in the morning. From our past routines, I knew that Jonas has a class by ten while I had one at nine thirty. I abandoned my phone on the table as I quickly arranged my bed before rushing into the toilet to empty my bladder, once I was done, I washed my hands in the sink and stared at my reflection in the mirror, my face was regular, normal, boring. 

There was nothing interesting about me, at least that’s what my own eyes are telling me. I know I’ve been told I looked a lot feminine than most guys even when I still have lean muscles on me, along with abs, but that wasn’t something I was really proud about. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think I’m ugly or anything, neither do I ever try to convince myself that I’m Calvin Klein hot. Because, for one, I wasn’t even six feet tall. I scoffed as I pushed my annoying hair away from my face and splashed water over my face, I scowled in irritation when water still managed to soak the tip of my front hair before picking my toothbrush to clean my teeth.

After taking a shower, I put on a pair ripped black jeans, a plain black shirt, a black hoodie, and a pair of white Jordans. I combed my hair before pushing everything backwards and tying the edge of my hair with a black bandanna, I was going to be doing a lot of work in school today so the thought of my hair falling into my face almost throughout the whole day wasn’t appealing even though my hair falling into my face made me a lot cuter. I grabbed my black bag and hanged it over my shoulders before stepping out of my room and closing the door quietly behind me. I didn’t bother trying to prepare breakfast for myself today since I know I just wouldn’t be able to eat it since I’ve been used to eating breakfast most morning with Jonas and I also didn’t bother trying to make pancakes for him since I was afraid of rejection.

I checked the time before the stepped out of the house, it was some minutes to eight and by the sound of it, Jonas was currently taking a shower. I slipped out of the house quietly and shut the door quietly. I walked down the hallway and waited beside Aria, one of our many neighbors on this floor who was also waiting for the elevator to return back to our floor. 

“Hey Andy,” Aria said to me with a bright smile. I still didn’t understand how Aria was always so cheerful and happy in the morning. I mean, what the hell was she always so happy about when everyone was still moving around like zombies?

“Hey Aria, I see you’re excited this morning, as usual,” I replied while flashing her a small smile. The elevator doors slid open, and we walked in and stood beside each other as the doors closed. There was only one man inside the elevator, and he stood on the other end. A small smile ghosted over his lips as he tapped away on his phone while nodding his head to whatever music he was vibing to on his air pods.

“Nah, I’m not really excited. I’m just really hyped to get to school today. I have three tests and I read throughout the night so I’m one hundred percent sure I’m going to ace them. I just can’t wait to see the questions,” Aria gushed while bouncing on her plain white running shoes. Her hair, which was cut into a bob, framed her oval face in such a cute way, but I just stared at her as I digested everything she said.

So there were people in this world who were excited about school? Wow.

“Um, that’s good then. Good luck with your tests!” I called out as the elevator slid open and I rushed out first. 

“I don’t need that but thank you!” she called after me. Her excitement creeped its way into her voice, and I shuddered as I walked towards the bus stop. 

I’d forever hate my parents for not getting me a car. I thought to myself as I glared into nothing in particular until the bus final showed up and I got in and picked a window seat before someone else slid into it.

I got a text from my best friend, Joey and clicked on it immediately.

Joey: Yo, where you at?

Andy: On a stupid bus, be there soon/keep a seat for me.

Joey: K man, I’m here with Lucas already, get me chips please.

I rolled my eyes as I read the text, Joey was fond of not getting his own snacks, and not because he didn’t have enough money or anything. That was not it; he just always forgot, the annoying fool.

Andy: I’m not getting shit for you. 

I dug out my AirPods from my bag and inserted them into my ears. I was about to choose a playlist to listen to on the bus ride.

Joey: C’mon babes, pwease.

Andy: Urg fine, be there in a bit.

I scoffed while rolling my eyes.

I finally put my phone into my hoodie pocket and leaned my head against the bus seat as I was about to start vibing to the first song that started playing. Five seconds into the song, someone tapped me on the shoulder, which made me groan internally. I contemplated ignoring the person, but I gave up when the person just kept tapping on my shoulder. I pulled an AirPod out of my right ear and turned my head sideways without bothering to raise my head up. I was taken aback when Jonas’s piercing blue gaze stared deeply into my eyes. I blinked a few more times, trying to find out if I was hallucinating or not. I huffed before digging out my phone to pause my music. I sat up and turned sideways to face him.

I couldn’t see his hair since a beanie was over everything except a few curls which laid at the edges of his ear, drawing my gaze onto his ear piercings. He has three piercings on this side of his ear while the other one has four piercings. Like most boys with ear piercings, the first hole held a small cross shaped dropping earring while the rest held tiny diamond and gold studs which all glittered beautifully each time the sun shone on them.

I dragged my gaze away from his ear and focused them on his face before inquiring, confusion making me gnaw on my lower lips absentmindedly, “What the hell are you doing here in a public bus?”

“Stalking you,” he replied as he smiled wildly at me and I felt my heart skip a few beats to my horror, I glanced away from the beautiful picture his smile created and instead stared out the window for a few seconds before turning back to him, my heart thankfully not skipping this time.

“I’m serious,” I mumbled while staring at him doubtfully.

He rolled his eyes this time, his hands coming to rest against his chest in a folded stance. “To school, obviously.”

“You have a car, Jonas. You almost never take public transportations,” I pointed out.

“Well I felt like taking one today, and also because I wanted to talk to you,” Jonas finally answered. His gaze slid over my whole face and chest. I felt color rise into my cheeks, and I turned towards the window immediately, taking in huge gulps of fresh air to help regulate my skipping heartbeat.

“What did you want to talk about?” I asked after turning back to him.

“The two of us,” he replied and I swallowed as o glanced around for a few seconds, thankfully no one was watching us, or watching me flush in embarrassment because I was talking to a good-looking guy, I breathed out a sigh of relief before turning back to Jonas who was currently looking at me with a raised brow as if he just knew what crossed my mind a few seconds ago.

“So, um...” I started to say but Jonas cut me off. “Look, I really don’t like the awkward aura floating around us ever since you know what,” he said without beating around the bush, something I’d never be able to say in one breath, that was so Jonas.

“Me too,” I muttered quietly, our eyes locked, his blue eyes staring deeply into my greenish ones.

“So I’d really love it if we could return back to our routine where, y’know, we’d take my car to school together and I’d pick you up if our schedules align, and those pancakes of yours...” Jonas continued slowly.

I narrowed my eyes at him, a scowl marring my face as I accused bitterly, “You ignored me first, remember? I fucking made breakfast for you, not because I was supposed to but because I just loved making them, but you ignored it and ignored me that morning.”

That hurt.

I watched as his eyes slid shut for a few seconds before sliding back open as he pinned me with his burning gaze while explaining, “I’m sorry about yesterday’s morning, I was just... hurt. Yeah, I was a bit hurt that you had to pull the girlfriend card, and I didn’t know what to say to you the next morning, so I ignored you, which was really dumb of me.”