Chapter 7

Darcy woke the following morning filled with a sense of dread. Her breakfast sat heavy in her stomach as she made her way to the stop and threatened to evacuate as the bus lurched around the winding streets.

She didn't want to face Josh. Every time she thought about him, her chest would become heavy. Even the mere though of him made it hard to breathe. 

It wasn't just the situation, but the fact she had nobody to confide in about it. Her former friends hated her, her mother was in Singapore, and her father lived a two-hour train ride away. He hadn't bothered to visit since their last argument. 

For now, at least, Josh was the only person in her life.

As Zara, Angela and the other guy looked up and approached her, she felt herself perk up for the first time in hours. Smiling felt foreign to her face, as if her cheeks were made of rubber.

"Hey," she said, turning to the guy whose name she still didn't know. "I'm sorry, I never asked your name."

The guy laughed and looked down. "Don't worry, nobody ever does when Ryan's about. I'm Chester."

"Oh. Cool name," she said, ignoring the comment about Ryan.

“Yeah, my parents named me after the Linkin Park guy,” Chester said.

Darcy nodded as if she knew exactly what he was talking about but in truth she had no idea. She was vaguely aware it was a band, but had never developed any real interest in music, listening to whatever was in the charts.

When Ryan turned up and joined them, she felt Angela nudge her side, as if prompting her to talk to him. 

"Hi, Ryan," she said.

"Hey," he said as he looked up, blushed, and gave a little wave.

'He's so shy,' Darcy thought, feeling a pull on her heartstring.

"Here he is!" Chester cried as Josh arrived, perking up noticeably.

Darcy's heart almost skipped a beat as he smiled and said hi to each of his friends then turned to face her. He licked his lips slowly, swallowed then graced her with a thin smile. "Darcy."

"Hi," she uttered. 

'Is he going to let me remain in the group?' she wondered. Her legs felt oddly wooden, as if they didn’t quite belong to her body, and she was too aware of what her face and hands were doing. Feeling out of place was so new to Darcy. She’d never had to feel this horrible, skin crawling, tingling dread before today.

She thought about the kids she deliberately left out in school, knowing they had felt this exact feeling and often, and shame mingled with the anxiety.

Josh looked like he was about to say something, but an approaching group tore his attention away.

'I hope it's not those fuckboys again,' she thought. She didn’t want any extra drama in her life at this point, as much as she loved seeing guys fight for her attention.

It wasn't them. The group were dressed smartly but frumpy-like kids dressing up as their elderly relatives. A pretty girl with a plain face and an ankle-length dress handed a flyer to a poor victim loitering by the bench.

"Do you know that Jesus loves you?" she asked the poor guy. He stared at her like a deer in headlights as he tried to explain he didn't have much experience with church.

"Did you know that Satan also loves you?" Chester asked, running over to the bench and taking a place to the left of the guy, who now looked even more confused.

"You again!" the girl screeched. "This is harassment."

"No," Josh said, striding over to the group. They cowered visibly as if this wasn't their first run in. "What you're doing is harassment. Nobody wants your stupid flyers, Jenny."

"You don't speak for everybody—" Jenny began.

"And you don't speak for Jesus," Josh said, taking a flyer from her pile and reading it in disgust. "Conservative Christians. Now there's an oxymoron for you."

Zara leaned over and pulled the flyer from Josh's hand. "Oh man, look, it's white Jesus."

The group fell over each other laughing, as the males in the Christian group fawned over Jenny, encircling her and guiding her to safety with calming words and gentle hands.

"Those dudes are clearly only in that group because they want to fuck her," Chester said, watching them leave with a smirk. “They should know she’s saving herself for Jesus.”

Throughout the whole scene, Ryan stood back, eyes shifting nervously as if he hated the idea of conflict. It made Darcy feel bad for him. 

As they walked into the building toward the Art room, Darcy watched the way Zara stuck to Josh's side, hanging on every word that came from his mouth. It dawned on her that Zara was the goth girl whose profile she'd stalked—the one she'd assumed was Josh's girlfriend. 

Yet... they didn't seem to be a couple. 

She tugged on Angela's arm and whispered, "Are those two dating?"

"Za wishes," Angela said. "But Josh is either oblivious or just not interested. Or maybe he’s gay. Who knows? Josh is a mystery."

She nodded, feeling relieved. 

'Why am I relieved?' she wondered. 'Do I like Josh?'

After a moment of thought, she decided it wasn't that at all. She simply wanted Josh to like her so he would take pity on her. She wanted all guys to like her. He wasn't attractive or sexy. He wasn't...

As she watched him, his back muscles shifting beneath his T-shirt, her mind skipped back to the time she'd sat in his lap.

No...

Feeling a random wetness appear in her undies, she thought for a second it was image of Josh in her memory. Then she remembered she was due for a bleed.

"Oh crap," she muttered, rushing into the toilet. As she searched her bag for an emergency tampon, checking every nook and cranny, the door creaked, and a couple of female voices sounded. Voices she recognised. 

She filled her lungs, about to shout out to her two newest female friends for help when she heard her name. 

'Oh, for heaven’s sake,' she thought. 'Not again.'

"Honestly, she fancies Ryan!" Angela cried. "I asked her."

"Didn't you see the way she sat in his lap?" Zara asked. "Like a common stripper. I wanted to snap her skinny little neck."

"Oh, come on. There's no way he'd chose her over you. Look at you. You're his type and new girl is... well... she seems okay but she's..."

"Boring as shit?" Zara finished.

"She wants Ryan. Trust me. You need to stop being so crazy over the lap dance thing," Angela said in a calm voice, doing her best to reassure her friend.

"But it was weird, right?" Zara tutted and growled loudly. "If that little whore touches my Josh again, I'll punch her perfect teeth in."

"She does have nice teeth," Angela said.

Hearing the girl’s refusal to slag her off filled Darcy's chest. She could see this girl was a kind, good-natured person and she'd be lucky to have a friend.

"Come on. All we have to do is push her and Ryan together and there won't be a problem. We can all get along," Angela said.

"I just wish she never showed up," Zara glowered. 

"The more the merrier," Angela said. "Besides, at least they can't cut the course now we have over 5 students."

"True," Zara agreed. "But why would she ask about me and Josh?"

"People are nosy," Angela said. "It's human nature. You're reading way too much into it."

"I just... have a bad feeling," Zara said, her tone becoming glum. "Why doesn't he want me?"

"You don't know if he likes you because you won't tell him how you feel. Just sit him down and have it out. I'm sure he'll say yes if you ask him out," Angela said. He’d be mad to turn you down.”

She listened as the girls used the toilets and flushed, keeping as still as possible so they wouldn't find her crouched in the stall like a creepy gremlin, listening in.

After they left, she turned her bag upside down and shook it. One tampon fell out into her lap.

"Well... that's something," she muttered, picking it up in a pincer grip.

She let out a sigh. 

"And I'm talking to a tampon."

After sorting herself out she found her way to the art room. The teacher was still setting up, so at least she hadn't made herself late.

'Aside from the seven days I was already late,' she thought, groaning inwardly.

She jumped a little as Josh whistled and called her over as if she were his dog or something.

'Am I his dog?' she wondered when he pointed at the floor, indicating for her to sit. She could feel Zara's eyes boring into her, hating her, and wanted nothing more than to get away.

"Sit," Josh hissed.

"Yes, Sir," she uttered, trying to make it sound sarcastic, but the honorific only bought a smile to his face.

"If we see those guys at break again, I want you to act like you're into me," he said. "It'll be funny."

"Why don't you get Zara to do it?" she asked quietly.

"Why on Earth would I ask Zara?" Josh frowned. "They don't fancy her... they want you."

"But..." Darcy paused. She didn't know what to say without giving away Zara's secret crush. 

She had to think of a way that wouldn't make either Josh or Zara hate her. 

'Think, brain, think...' she urged herself "But, well, the thing is… I like Ryan," she said, almost shouting it. She glanced about the room to check if anyone had heard before crouching and lowering her voice. "I don't want him to think I fancy you."

"And if you don't do as I say, I'll tell Ryan all about the things you did to Lenny Cartwright. You know, Ryan was the Lenny Cartwright of his school. You should see the pictures. You wouldn't recognise him at all."

"Please, please, Josh," she whined. "Why don't you just ignore those guys? Don't you think it's a bit pathetic to try and one-up them? I mean, it just proves you care what they think—"

"You think I care about their worthless opinions?" Josh asked, screwing up his face. "I'm doing this to amuse myself, Darcy. Because I find it fun to screw with them."

"I just..." Darcy glanced over his shoulder at Zara then at Ryan. "I just really badly don't want to do it. Please don't force me."

"Aww," he cooed, leaning forward, and grabbing her by the chin. "Are you begging me again?"

She cast her eyes down as he nodded, feeling heat rise in her cheeks.

"Say it." He smirked. "I want to hear you say it."

Darcy wet her lips. 

"I'm begging you," she whispered, eyes darting about the room. "I'm begging... are you happy now?"

He smiled as he stood, fingers lifting her chin so she had no choice but to look up at him. His other hand found its way into her hair, taking a handful in a lazy grip. 

"Carry on," he urged, looking down at her.

She felt as though the whole room was looking. Like she was on display at some zoo or aquarium. A giant fish behind glass. 

"Please, I'm begging you," she said, trying to get the words out as fast as humanly possible so this could be over. 

"No!" Josh cried. "I’m not going to let you suck it."

As he let go of her hair she fell back and turned to find a crowd of people in the corridor behind her. They stared at her in horror before continuing on their way, some snickering and whispering.

When she turned back to Josh he was doubled over laughing as the others frowned in confusion, asking what the heck was going on.

She caught Zara's eye and the girl turned away, her mouth pulled into a taut, angry line. 

'Great, now she definitely hates me.' 

$ Chapter