Chapter 6

After the ordeal was over, Darcy decided she needed someone to discuss recent events with. She already knew how her friends would react, but she needed someone to tell her how ridiculous the situation was.

They hadn't responded to any of her messages for days, so she figured she must have done something to upset them. 

'I'll apologise for whatever it is, and we can get back to normal,' she figured. It wasn’t like her friends to hold grudges, but they were growing up and everything was changing. Anything could happen.

They would be at Alexa's house. Everyone always hung out at Alexa's when it was warm enough and not raining because she had an expansive garden with a pool and deck chairs. After a quick text to let her bestie know, she was on her way over, she hurried from the bus to the nice side of town. 

The trees lining the avenue were still holding their leaves, confused by the warm autumn, but they were just beginning to fall and give out that beautiful crushed potpourri smell.

Alexa and her family lived in the most beautiful Victorian house. It had become Darcy's second home over the years, and her family was like an extension of her own. She’d been hanging out there since the girls first met at the local park, learning to ride their bikes after pre-school.

She snuck through the back gate as always, overhearing the girls talking in the garden.

"Oh geez, she texted me again," Alexa said with a groan. "She's so freaking tragic. When will she take the hint?"

"I know right," Heidi chimed in. "Like, didn't we put up with her for long enough? I feel like it’s someone else’s turn now."

"I feel like we're decent people for not dumping off her ass sooner, to be fair. Toxic people like Darcy don't deserve friends," Jen spoke up.

Darcy froze, lingering behind the wall of the pool house. Her heart almost dropped out of her chest as the situation sank in.

They weren't pissed at her. They were ghosting her. Cutting her out with cruel words as sharp as surgeons scalpels.

"I'm going to art college, but my Mum hates it because I'm a math genius!" Alexa cried in a cruel imitation. The others fell about in laughter and joined in.

"I'm so misunderstood! A tortured artist!" Jen cried. 

"She can barely even draw a stick figure," Alexa snorted.

As they pulled her to pieces, something became abundantly clear. They had felt this way about her for some time. 

They hated her.

'Am I really that bad?' she wondered. 'Do I honestly sound like that?'

"She really does think she's it," Jen said. "The way she walks about shaking her ass and pushing out her tits like she's god’s gift to men. I mean... have some mystery. Guys don't want it on a plate, ya know? Even Ted got bored of her eventually and he had the patience of a saint."

As the other girls hummed in agreement, she had to get away. She couldn't listen to any more of it. Part of her wanted to storm over to them, scream at them that they were no different. They were sad, pathetic clones of her and had only been popular because she'd chosen them.

Even as she said it in her head, she could hear the arrogance. The very same arrogance they were ripping her apart for.

The other, bigger part of her was too humiliated to move. She decided it was best to simply leave and never return.

'Alexa will come crawling back to me when she realises how vapid and empty those other two bitches are,' she thought. 

She hoped.

Life without Alexa... 

It was going to be lonely. Alexa's Mum looked after her when her own mother was away on business trips. She always seemed happy to do so in the past. Their mothers were friends, so it just seemed natural that Alexa and Darcy would also be close.

Her heart wouldn't stop thumping as she slunk away through the back gate like a dirty criminal. As her lungs fought to get enough air, Darcy realised she was hyperventilating and had to sit on the Kerb to gather her senses.

Their words circled her head as she tried to count to ten and failed. Looking down at the pavement, the paving stones blended into one grey mass as her vision blurred. When she blinked, two wet spots appeared between her feet.

'Ugh, hold it in,' she thought. It was an effort, but she managed to stave off the tears until she was safely inside the walls of her house. 

'They are the toxic ones,' she told herself on repeat. 'You can start over and be a better person and they will still be sitting about slagging off other girls to make themselves feel better.'

The problem was... she couldn't do it without help. She needed friends.

'Why did it have to be Josh?' she wondered. 'Of all the people who could have been on my course, why did fate have to pick him?'

First, he'd been the one there in her hour of need, now he was chosen to be her partner project. It was as if the universe was trying to tell her something. 

Every time she thought about his face, twisted in a derisive scowl, or the feeling of his hands on her thighs the blood would rush to her head. The mixture of humiliation and gratitude made her feel physically sick.

If not for him, her course would be perfect. All the others seemed lovely—especially Ryan. She hadn't really spoken to the other lad yet, but he seemed nice enough—cheerful and energetic. 

As she thought back at her behaviour during school, Darcy figured it had to be some sort of Karmic revenge. She had treated Josh and his friends so badly; it was no surprise he wanted nothing to do with her. In school, Darcy had been part of the popular crowd. They had ruled over the school with an iron fist, making life miserable for the other cliques, none more so than the outcasts. As the uncrowned king of the outcasts, Josh had clashed with her male friends on numerous occasions.

She stared at her computer screen, and though she had added Josh on messenger, she felt too scared to say hello.

'What's wrong with me?' she wondered, fingers hovering over the keyboard. 'He's just a loser.'

Her mind returned to the scene in the cafeteria. The whole thing had been bizarre. She rubbed her hands absentmindedly along her hips, feeling the shape of her body.

'Why can't I get it out of my head?'

"Hello?" Josh messaged. "You added me and then didn't speak. Freak. We need to get this speech sorted out."

"Hi, sorry, I was busy," Darcy typed back. It was a lie, but he had no way to know that.

"Liar." He typed after a moment.

'Huh?' Darcy looked left and right. 'How does he know I lied?'

After that, he sent her a file, told her to read it and come up with a speech. Darcy obeyed without complaint, finding his choice of designer increasingly interesting the more she read about this amazing woman who had fused the worlds of art and fashion.

When she'd done, she sent the file over to Josh, assuming he was going to pick fault and moan about her work. He shocked her by telling her it was fine.

He didn't speak again after that, but he still showed up as online. As it got later, and she became tired, Darcy plucked up the courage to attempt another apology for her behaviour during school. She didn't want him to hate her. It would make things so awkward.

"I'm sorry for how I acted in school," she said. 

"Oh geez, don't. Just don't. We both know you aren't sorry; you're just worried I'm going to tell your little crush you're as bad as the girls who bullied him for being the fat kid!"

Darcy sat in front of her computer reading and re-reading those words. It was true. She wasn't sorry. Once again, the apology was simply a ploy to save herself. The more she examined her motives, the more she became aware of her inherent selfishness.

‘No wonder everyone hates me.’

"Are you going to tell them?" she asked, holding her breath as she waited for his response. 

The air came rushing from her lungs as he typed, "No."

Then he added, "You are."

"What? What? No," Darcy mumbled to herself. What did he mean?

"I didn't call you out today as it was your first day and honestly... I was in a good mood. But no... you aren't welcome to sit with me again and if you don't tell the others what you were really like in high school, I will," he typed.

A cold sweat broke over her forehead as she panicked, feeling her chest tighten and her stomach turn.

"Please," she typed. 

Two teardrops splashed onto her keyboard, running and dripping between the M and N keys. 

"Please what?" he asked. 

Darcy paused for a second, thinking about how to plead. She decided to go with honesty.

"Please let me start over. I don't want to be that person anymore. Can we please just put the past behind us and start over?" she asked, sniffing back more tears.

When he didn't reply, she continued. 

"You didn't have to show me any mercy, but you did. You saved me from those creeps, and you didn't out me at college. I know you're a kind person. Please give me a second chance. Please. I want to be different, but I can’t if you don’t let me."

Her cheeks burned as she typed these words. She almost didn't hit send but convincing him was her only hope. College and her new friends were the only things she had in her life right now.

‘If I have to quit, I might as well take a short walk off a long cliff,’ she thought, oozing self-pity. ‘Wait… that’s the wrong way around. Long walk off a short cliff.’

What he sent in reply was a barrage of laughing emojis. 

"Are you begging me for mercy?" he asked.

The question made her blush even deeper, to the point it became painful. It was so humiliating she thought she might die. Fresh tears of frustration and hopelessness tumbled down the taut skin of her cheeks.

"Yes," she replied simply.

"Oh, Darcy, Darcy, Darcy," he typed. "I guess you'll just have to wait and see if I'm in a kind mood tomorrow."

Reading those words, she slumped in her seat. 

'He's going to make me sweat,' she thought. 'Watch me squirm.'

‘How cruel.’

"Now go and drink a glass of water," he typed.

"Huh?" Darcy said out loud to her empty room. 

"Do it," he demanded. "Now."

With a confused sigh, she got up from her seat and went to the kitchen to fill a glass with tap water. Though she didn't enjoy it, she knocked it back before returning to her screen.

"Did you do it?" he asked. 

"Yes," she replied. 

After a second of silence, she asked why he'd forced her to drink water.

"Because, like most people, you don't drink enough water," was his response. 

Darcy wasn't sure how to respond to that. It was true, but the bigger question was, why did he care?

'Does he secretly like me?' she wondered. 'Is that why he rescued me and didn't out me?'

Her mind once again returned to the scene with her in his lap. 

'Maybe he does like me,' She thought. Anything was possible.

$ Chapter