Chapter 8

When Darcy looked over at Angela and Zara, she couldn't overhear the conversation. She could, however, lip read a few choice words.

"Fucking slut."

She tried to swallow away the sicky feeling in her throat as Josh's laugher ringed in her ears. 

Unsure what else to do, she turned and ran into the corridor, finding her way back to the toilets like a sad homing pigeon.

After curling up in the end stall for a few minutes, she let out a sob so loud it startled her. The sob quickly escalated into a flood of tears, and as much as she tried to cover her mouth with her hands, she couldn't force it back.

Crying in the toilets wasn’t her. It was something other girls did. Sad, pathetic girls with no gumption. A shard of a memory pierced her brain: the time she’d accused Carla Greenwood of trying to steal her style and bashed the clueless girl until she’d run off in a flood of tears.

'I'm a horrible person and I don't deserve friends,' she thought. 'I'll just resign myself to loneliness. I'll sit alone and hide in toilets like all the people I picked on.'

It was fair.

It was justice.

It...

It...

"It's not fair!" Darcy cried through the sobs. "I just want a second chance."

A knock at the door startled her, switching off the waterworks temporarily.

"Oh, come on, it was just a joke," Josh shouted in. "If you don't come out here, I'll come in."

She didn't want to see him. Didn't want him to see her in this condition. 

"Just go away," she shouted back. "Please."

After a second the door swung inward with a creek, and he entered. 

"Wow, the girl's toilets really do smell better than the boys," he commented, sniffing the air. "I'll have to start coming here to pee."

When he paused at the final stall and looked in, his face changed. For the first time, she saw genuine pity in his eyes.

"It was just a joke," he repeated. "I thought it would be funny."

"It wasn't funny for me," Darcy said.

As he crouched beside her, placing an arm around her back and smoothing her hair, she figured he was going to apologise. That he would promise to start treating her like a real person from now on.

‘Things are going to get better from now on,’ she assured herself.

"Well, Darcy, you see... the thing is," he said, tucking a tear-soaked strand of hair behind her ear. "Your feelings don't matter."

His tone was so soothing that his words seemed out of place and off-kilter. They confused her to the point she thought she must have misheard.

"You had so much fun at my expense in school. You and your friends. Do you not think I deserve a turn to make fun of you?" he asked.

Darcy felt as though he’d reached in and sucked the soul right out of her body. With a blank face, she nodded slowly. 

"Yes?" he asked.

"Yes," she uttered, her voice a dry wisp. "I deserve it."

What she wanted to do was tell him to grow up and move on, but what right did she have? Plus it would only make him angrier. The only logical move was to take everything he had to throw at her. He would get bored of tormenting her eventually, and life would resume as normal.  

If Zara didn't rip her throat out first.

"You know Zara has a crush on you, right?" she asked. It was hard to speak because of the post-sob hiccups, but she managed to get the words out.

"Duh," he said. "I'm not a simpleton."

"Then why don't you ask her out?" Darcy asked. "Put her out of her misery. You like her right?"

"She's too clingy and in my face," Josh said. "I don't like that. It's annoying."

"But she's so pretty and cool and you have stuff in common," Darcy said, trying desperately to convince him. 

"Why don't you ask her out if you think she's so great?" he asked. "Oh right, I forgot. You like Ryan."

"Well... erm... he's alright," Darcy mumbled.

"He's better than alright, and you aren't even close to good enough for him. If you go anywhere near him, I'll tell him everything. I'll show him all the nasty messages you sent to me," he said. "Remember that meme you made of poor fat Lenny?"

"Y—you kept them?" Darcy frowned. Wasn't that an odd thing to do?

"No." Josh screwed up his face. "My computer kept them. You know everything you do online is there forever, right?"

Darcy hadn't known that.

'You learn something new every day,' her mental voice chimed up in a sarcastic sneer. Even her inner dialogue was against her.

"I won't try anything with him, okay?" she agreed.

Josh nodded and patted her on the head. "Good girl."

'Good girl?' she thought. 'He keeps calling me that... like I'm his pet or something.'

It was degrading. 

As he walked from the bathroom, Darcy decided she would find other people to sit with at lunch and keep herself to herself in classes. It would be boring, sure, but she was here to learn not to socialise. Maybe if she kept her head down and stayed away from Josh, he would give up on torturing her.

'I'll be fine,' she told herself. 'I don't need Josh or anyone else.'

When she returned to the classroom, Chester called her over. "Hey, are you okay?"

"Erm... I... uh, yes." Darcy nodded. 

"Because you look like you've been crying," Chester went on.

"I'm just being oversensitive. It's pathetic." Darcy shook her head. “It was just a silly joke and I overreacted. I feel like a fool.”

Darcy planned to go back to her table. To distance herself from the group and become a loner, but Chester continued to chat and ask questions. It would be rude to ignore him, so she remained at his table as the pair sketched ideas for the next art project. Every so often, he would pull out his phone and show her a meme.

She laughed; happy they shared a similar sense of humour. It was always awkward pretending to find stuff funny.

Chester was easy company—honest and uncomplicated. He talked to her for the next two hours about everything and nothing.

When it was time for a break, he grabbed his stuff and looked at her expectantly, waited for her to follow. 

All her plans about going it alone flew out of the window. What was she supposed to say? No, sorry, I've decided to become a hermit because Josh has his heart set on torturing me?

She smiled and followed him to the canteen, catching up with the others on the way. As usual, Zara was sticking so close to Josh she was almost lodged up his butt-crack, and Ryan flashed her that same shy smile.

He really was adorable. She tried to picture him as a fat kid and couldn't do it. There wasn't a single wobbly bit of skin on his taut frame. Every muscle ripped to perfection. 

'And he eats non-stop,' she thought, watching him pull a snickers bar from his pocket and polish it off in three bites.

As she stared, he caught her eye and wiped the chocolate remnants from his lips with an ashamed little smile that was so adorable she almost melted.

When they reached the cafeteria those awful guys from Zara's school clocked her immediately.

'Maybe I should form a coalition with them,' she considered. Their company couldn't be worse than being tormented by Josh.

Then Ryan noticed her looking at them. She could see it in his eyes. The sadness and disappointment. That he could lose hundreds of pounds, become a living Adonis, and the girl would still choose a douchebag fuckboy with no personality or soul.

She flashed the guy a dirty look before smiling at Ryan. Yes, she'd promised Josh she wouldn't come onto him, but that didn't mean she couldn't be nice to him.

Unfortunately, Josh noticed this interaction.

He came up behind her in the queue and slapped her so hard on the arse that she was shoved forward into the railing. As he pressed up against her back, pushing his crotch into her bum, there was nowhere for her to move. She was pinned. Helpless.

A large hand appeared at either side as he loomed over her, and she felt his breath in her ear.

"You aren't being a very good girl," he whispered. "And I know what you were thinking. If you want to go to them... do it. They'll pass you around, have their fun and leave you like they do to all the girls they snare. Why do you think there aren't any females in that group? Hmm?"

'How does he know?' Darcy wondered. 'Can he tell from the way I looked at them?'

Maybe he genuinely was a mind reader. At the computer, he'd known when she lied, and he knew that she drank the water.

"Go on. I won't try to stop you," he whispered. 

After a pause, he added, "I won't ever forgive you, though."

Her mind’s initial reaction was to scream, 'Who cares?!'

Yet, as her mouth hung open ready to respond, a knot formed in her stomach and squeezed so hard it was painful. It wrenched away, forming a pit so deep and empty it sucked the life from her, like a black hole at the core of her being. The words stuck in her throat, pulled back by its force. 

His hand moved to her hip, his touch sending little shivery tingles up and down her spine. She could feel the strength of him and wanted nothing more than to let him take control. Of her body. Of her mind.

A student coughed to her left and Josh stepped back, letting her continue down the line. Out of habit, she grabbed a piece of fruit and a can of diet soda. 

Josh leaned over her and put the soda back. 

"What did I tell you?" He tutted. "Water. It's free and good for you."

Nodding, and desperate to get out of the dinner line, she picked up her tray and went to the cashier. The elderly lady at the counter gave her an odd look but smiled as she paid 40 pence for the apple and left for her table.

As she sat, there seemed to be an invisible forcefield surrounding the table: a veil of doom and gloom. Nobody was speaking as they tucked into their lunches. 

The uncomfortable silence was broken when one of the guys at the next table blasted some God-awful rap music from his phone.

Chester looked up with an evil grin, pulled out his phone and did the same, battling the rap with his rock music. 

The table smiled in appreciation, nodding their thanks at him. 

Darcy didn't recognise the band—she'd never been particularly into music—but the lyrics were cool.

'Mess with the horns and you'll get the Devil.'

"You see," Chester said. "This band choice is awesome because it pisses off the pretty boys and the fake Christians."

He was right, she noticed, looking about at the sea of angry frowns. 

"Come on guys," one of the staff said on her journey to collect more red trays. "Take the party outside."

As the group exchanged silly grins and slipped from their seats, Darcy followed them to the courtyard picnic bench. 

She tried to, at least, until a hand grabbed her arm and pulled her back. 

Spinning, she was met with a pair of dark and angry eyes.

"We need to talk. Meet me here at 3:30."

$ Chapter