Chapter 39: Advice

Alex's PoV

I felt si mixed emotions when Tar spoke earlier, I couldn’t figure out what reaction I would show first. Whether I'll be happy or sad because he can't remember me. Maybe that's what Mel wanted to tell me earlier, I hope I just listened as much as I could and didn't go there. I just went home and slept before eating dinner.

A N O T H E R - D A Y

It's Saturday so I woke up a little late, I just got up and took a towel and went straight to the bathroom to take a shower. After I took a bath, I brushed my teeth and went downstairs and cooked my breakfast. I just cooked fish that simmer in vinegar today and fortunately I still have some fish left there. I just ate peacefully and did not remember what happened yesterday. After I ate I washed the plates I used and after that I just hung out in the living room watching the show.

When I got bored I just turned off the TV then went to the garage and bring my car outside of the garage. I just got a cleaner because I'm going to clean my pretty dirty car. After I cleaned up, I went to the bedroom and got a clean towel to dry it. When it dried, I put my car back in the garage and went back to my room.

"This is how it feels to be forgotten," I said and lay down on my bed.

"When will he remember me again? Will he remember me again?" those are the questions that bother my mind again.

"Hey Lex? Why you called?" he asked when he answered my call.

"Are you free now Jake?" I asked my troops.

"Hmm I'm not doing anything important right now, why?" he replied.

"Are you free now?" I repeat my question.

"Yes I'm free, why is that?" he impatiently asked.

"Come to my house, I'm free.. and bring some food too," I said and turned off the call. I took the expensive wines hidden in my cupboard and laid them on the small table in the living room. I drank first and just waited for Jake to come here.

An hour or so ago, the doorbell rang, and I walked to the door, limping.

"Come in," I said and went back to the couch.

"What's your problem? Alex?" moreover I heard the door close.

"Sit down first and let's talk," I said and waved at him.

"Oh drink first.. I've been waiting for you here for a while," I said and he followed what I said.

"Oh what is it?" he asked and I refilled the glass he had just put on the table.

"Drink more," I said and he didn't stop.

"I think I like a guy Jake," I said and he choked.

"Ohhhg ohhggg," he coughed and touched his throat.

"W-what?" he asked with difficulty.

"I told you I like a guy," I repeated what I had said earlier.

"Are you sick?" he asked and touched my forehead.

"Stupid, nothing!" I just said and patted his hand.

"Are you smoking now, Alex?" he asked really seriously and I just laughed.

"If only I could," I said and he punched me.

"Crazy! Don't be like that! It's just a joke.... But did you smoke?" he repeats his question and I know he's just holding back a laugh.

"Stupid! No!" I just said and drink.

"How did you say that?" he asked and opened the two boxes of pizza and opened the bag of chips.

"I don't know.. I just felt like I liked him," I said and looked him in the eye.

"Pre."

"Pre."

We just stared and we laughed together!

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" we both laughed.

"But you're not one of them. You're my troops!" I just said and patted his shoulder.

"Oh! Even I'm so handsome, you won't like me?" he said happily.

"HA! Who are you again?" I asked more.

"I'm Jake! You crazy," he said and he drank.

"Well you're not on my lovers list," I said and filled the glass with wine after drinking it.

"Is it a problem to like a man now?" he asked and I couldn't answer his question.

"You know Lex.. if you really want someone, go ahead! Reach for him until you reach him, if you feel that you have hope in him, go ahead! If you're really sure of how you feel, don't control how you feel. Just know your limits, if you know you've failed, you'll lose. That's the time you have to give up," he said and drank.

"Because the valid love, no one chooses! Even if it's a girl, gay, lesbian, or boy! If you feel that you really love him, then you can't control how you feel," he lengthly advice and I just listened to what he was saying right now.

"You already know that I will accept you no matter what race you are or what gender you choose to love. Is it really just in the end, you choose the one you are really sure of. It's part of love that you will be either reject or unlove, isn't it? That the one you loved never love you back, when the day comes when you feel hopeless.. stop what you are doing. Because you are the only one who will be tired and hurt," he said for a long time and all the things he was saying now came to my mind. I just poured the wine in the glass after eating what he bought.

"You're done?" I asked while there was still food in my mouth.

"Crazy! Are you listening?" he asked annoyed and I just laughed because of his expression.

"Hell yeah, of course! Everything you said entered my mind!" I answer and think about what I will do right now.

"But honestly Lex, I was wondering why you liked that person?" he asked and I also wondered what was the reason why I liked him.

"I don't know. Just seeing him feels like I was hit right away. I feel like I'm gay Jake!.. but it's very different from how I felt when I first saw my ex-girlfriend," I said and drank.

"Oh! That's bad!" he joked more and laughed.

"It's bad," I said simply. We both fell silent and no one spoke.

"Oh what are you up to now?" he asked and opened a bottle.

"I also don't know, maybe I'll start first," I said after drinking.

"How about first?" he asked philosophically.

"It's like an introduction, that's it! Maybe I'll even get into courtship," I said and I'm not sure what I'm saying now.

"You know.. it's just hunger! Eat first this!" he also showed me the pizza. I took another one there then ate it. We just kept talking and drinking until we were both drowning in alcohol.