41. Marina, The Ex (part 2)

**Bianca**

“She got upset again and I didn’t hear from her for two more weeks. I got the desire to call her but after the first two days of her not picking up the phone, I didn’t feel that urge anymore. It felt like it was the end of the relationship. I didn’t want it to end. I wished things were different. But at the same time, I didn’t have the energy to fight anymore. I was starting to think that a breakup was a long time coming. And if this was the way it ended, then so be it.

“But then she came back. She asked for us to meet at a restaurant that we always went to. Marina apologized for what happened and said she wanted to get back together. She realized that she might have overreacted, which ended up with her treating me poorly and trying to separate me from my friends. Starting then, she would work harder to be a better girlfriend. I played it cool but on the inside I was ecstatic. This was all I ever wanted. If Marina meant what she said, then things would end up being better than before. So I agreed.

“And for a while they were. She started being how she used to be. We even hung out with her friends, which we didn’t used to do a lot of before since they were all girls. At least I thought they were.

“There were also the girl’s boyfriends. We didn’t see them a lot, but every time we hung out, there was always this one guy who followed his girlfriend wherever she went. He kept quiet. Didn’t seem to like socializing much. He was too busy watching over his girlfriend like a hawk. Richie and Marina didn’t talk much so I didn’t suspect anything. That was until Marina’s birthday came around.

“Class ended early and I knew she didn’t have school that day because I overheard some of her friends talking about it. So I rushed to one of the bakeries, bought a dozen cupcakes, and hurried over to where she lived.

“Outside her house, I saw that one of her friends, Christine, was there as well. When I asked why she was there, she said that Richie wasn’t answering his phone and the GPS showed that he’s at Marina’s house. I was confused. I tried to tell her that maybe he left his phone there the last time that they hung out at her house. She didn’t listen and used a spare key to open the door.

“As we walked inside, I still had it in mind that this was some kind of misunderstanding. I knew that look on Christine’s face. Anger. Determination. She thought that they were hooking up. But why would Marina hook up with Richie of all people? They rarely even talked. I truly thought that Christine would end up regretting causing a scene. So much so that I tried to stop her. That was until we heard noises on the second floor.

“There she was, wrapped up under the sheets with Richie. I froze. It felt like my heart was being ripped in two. Marina might have had her flaws, sure, but I never imagined that she would cheat on me. Everything was going so well. At least, I thought they were.

“Christine and Richie immediately got into a fight. I just stood there, watching as Marina put her clothes on. I snapped at her and asked her what was wrong with her. She frowned, folding her arms. Then she asked me what did I expect? I wasn’t the type of man she wanted. I just left. The last thing I wanted to do was cry in front of her.

“Marina must have realized her mistake because she chased after me. We headed down the stairs. She told me she was sorry and that none of it meant anything. I told her to shut up. She got mad at me for being mad at her and tried to guilt-trip me into staying and forgiving her. I…”

He stopped talking, choosing instead to bury his head in his hands. Things became quiet. I got up from my position and walked around him. I sat in front of him. I could hear his heavy breathing.

“Avery?” I called out softly.

“I know. Give me a minute. I’m okay, I just need to get myself together.”

I carefully reached out and moved his hands away with gentle movements. There were no tears, but it looked like he was on the verge of crying.

“We didn’t get back together, of course,” he said. “But it messed me up for a while. I thought I had gotten over it. But in college, I realized that I couldn’t form any deeper relationships with women past being friends. Or temporary lovers. I met a lot of nice girls, sure, but I never believed them when they told me they loved me. To me, their words were empty. They couldn’t possibly know what they were talking about. Everybody uses the word ‘love’. It doesn’t mean anything.”

I couldn’t help but ask, “Did you believe me when I told you I loved you?”

He sported a nervous smile. “At first, no.”

My heart ached. I swallowed a ball of air.

“When you and I talked at my place, and you told me you loved me too,” he continued. “My mind kept telling me that it was a lie. Why would she love me? For all I know, she could have been using me to get back at Conroy for abandoning her. When we kissed at the restaurant, every bit of common sense told me that it was a bad idea. But I didn’t care. For once, I wanted to try something new, even if it could end up with me being severely hurt.”

“Avery…”

“Let me finish. By then I already knew that I was developing feelings for you. I had to convince myself that the only way to figure out if something was possible between us was to see how it goes. From my perspective, you had always been honest with me about not trusting me as yet and what your intentions were. That’s why it hit me hard when I found out you were keeping such an important secret. All those thoughts came back. For the sake of being transparent, they were taunting me. I was starting to believe that they were right.

“But once I saw Jasmine hurting you, I flew into a rage. Nothing else mattered. It didn’t matter that you failed to tell me everything. What mattered was that if I didn't act fast, I could end up losing the only woman I loved. When I woke up in the hospital, to my surprise, I had no regrets. You were safe. That made me happy.”

Avery placed his hands on my shoulders, forcing me to look at him.

“I will never treat you the same way that Conroy did, Bianca. I love you too much for that. Call me crazy after everything that happened, but I believe that your love for me is just as strong. You’re my girlfriend, my lover, in every sense of the word. I have no intention of treating you otherwise. Just, no matter what it is, tell me in the future, okay? I want us to work together as partners who trust each other entirely. Can you do that for me?”

I smiled, tears threatening to come at my eyes too. “I agree. I love you so much, Avery. I’m sorry.”

“Come here, I want to hold you.”