40. Marina, The Ex (part 1)

**Bianca**

“You were thinking that I might act like Conroy?”

I held him tighter, then nodded against his back.

Avery sighed. He held my hand and placed his fingers between mine. He lifted my hand and kissed it.

“It hurt a lot, didn’t it?”

I nodded again. “So much.”

“It’s okay. You did what you thought was right. I still feel a little upset, but now that you explained it better I don’t feel that upset anymore.”

I looked up. “Are you sure? I’m not going to be mad if you are. I get it. I probably should have told you earlier once we found out everything.”

“And I get you.” Avery turned his head to me, smiling. “I hate to say it, but I can relate to that. Conroy once told me after you were admitted that I wouldn’t understand how he felt I’ve never been in love because he had never seen me with a girlfriend that wasn’t temporary. That’s not true. I’ve been in love before. But obviously, that didn’t last. He was there too but he must have forgotten about it. It was during my junior and senior years in highschool. She was a sweet talker, and I completely fell for it. She filled me with high hopes about how we would buy a house together in a quiet neighborhood and have five kids that included twins. I always wanted a little family of my own, and she seemed nice, so I felt very strongly about her. Like that future was possible. ‘Marina’ was her name.

“She went to an all-girls school but I waited for her by the gate and walked her home every day. We met during one of my pack’s homecoming parties. It’s a thing where the Alpha would demand all his wolves to come back to the pack for one week and have festivals. She got my attention the first time I saw her enter the clearing. I gathered the bit of confidence I had as a teen and approached her. To my surprise, we had fun and got along well. By the end of the week, I was sure I wanted to be closer to her. I asked her to be my girlfriend. She said yes.

“After that, it felt like every day was heaven. I felt like I found the one. She was smart, competent, and eager to make a change in the world. She wanted to be a marine biologist. I would Facetime her for hours on the weekends when we couldn’t see each other, listening to her talk about the most random things. I found her way of describing stuff fascinating. When we ended the call, Marina would tell me she loved me. We had only been together for a month at that point but I was happy because I realized I loved her too. It was one of the best times in my life.”

I squeezed his hand. He squeezed back.

“”I like you a lot’, ‘you’re so cute and sweet’, ‘I’ll always stay by your side and be with you forever’, ‘I won’t listen to those stupid rumors. You’re all I care about’, ‘I can’t wait for highschool to be over so that we can get married’. I held those words of hers close to my heart. After six months, I realized that she stopped saying those things. I missed hearing her talk like that. When I asked her about it, she told me that I should’ve known by then how she felt. I figured she was right and I was overthinking it. I did know how she felt. Or at least I knew how she wanted me to think she felt.

“The months following that were strange. I soon forgot about that because something else happened. She started to nitpick my clothes. It was little things at first. My collar was crooked or my shirt wasn't tucked in properly. I remember thinking that they looked fine. But if she thinks that, then other people might think so too. Why no one said anything was a mystery to me. I only stopped adjusting my clothes when she told me I looked fine now. Then she started commenting on what shirts I wore and said they didn’t suit either me or my outfit. I didn’t mind. I thought that she cared for me and wanted me to look my best. Then she started to comment on the way I did my hair. One time, she told me that my new haircut made me look like a clown. My grandpa cut it. I didn’t like it much either but I knew how much it meant to him that I allowed him to do that. That was our first fight just days before our first anniversary.

“Eventually, we made up a week later and got back together, but only after she made me apologize for getting mad at her. Things were fine for the first few months. Peaceful. Marina even started telling me sweet things again. Things were alright. We went on dates like normal and I still waited for her outside her school gates. Even my friends told me I seemed happier. They had only met Marina a few times and were genuinely happy for me. But it wasn’t long until she found new ways to hurt me.

“I asked her out to go to an aquarium. Since she wanted to be a marine biologist, I figured she would like it. Instead, she said, and I quote, ‘I live in the same city as you. Don’t you think I’ve already been there?’ It shocked me, however, I explained why. That’s when shit hit the fan. She told me she never wanted to be a marine biologist and changed the subject. I called her out on it and we had another fight. Then Marina stopped talking to me for a few days, ignoring all my messages. Only after I apologized to her in person did she talk to me again.

“The number of fights we had was a lot. I don’t think any of those fights were actually resolved. She would accuse me of cheating on her without any evidence. And in order to ‘prove’ that I was innocent, I had to cut off all my female friends and never talk to another girl ever again. I said no. I knew who I was at that point and I didn’t see her actions as her caring. I saw them as spiteful. I never once flirted with any of my friends nor did I spend any time alone with them. I only spent time alone with my guy friends. Once she realized she couldn’t get her way, she pulled the silent treatment.”

My brows furrowed.

“After a couple of days, I stopped reaching out to her. I figured she would come back when she stopped being mad. Once a week went by, she talked to me again and asked if I made up my mind. I said ‘no’.”