Chapter 91 : "Tarry"

T A T E

I ring the doorbell.

But no one answers.

I tried to ring the doorbell again.

"I hear you! I'm coming!"

I take a deep breath in as soon as the door swings open, I see Monique standing right in front of me. She seemed shock to see me and I was hell sure she was surprised. I've gone for a few months without telling her where I was.

"Oh my gosh you bitch you're alive!" She screams at my face before she threw herself at me and hugged me tight.

"Hey. I missed you." I tell her.

"You're such an asshole for leaving everyone behind including Harry!" She smacks my arm.

"I'm sorry." I pulled myself away from her.

She sighs. "And your hair's already long too."

I smile.

"Harry's been so worried sick of you. He kept coming over. He kept asking me about you. And do you know that he comes here just to make sure you come back because he was so sure you'll be returning?" She narrates.

She looks at me worriedly.

"Can I even come in so we can talk things over privately?" I ask her.

She widens her door for me so I marched my way inside her foyer. Monique leads me to the living room where both of us settled down. She takes the couch right across me while she looks at me intently and quietly.

"Where have you really been?" She asks.

I briefly bite my lower lip. "I wanted to be away from everyone and everything."

"That has to include me. Really." She crosses her arms together against her chest.

"I went back to Spain just to have a breather from everything that happened to me and how involved I was in Harry's life." I say.

She sighs. "Even if you stay away or have months off from everything, you can't because you're already too involve in his life."

I smiled weakly. "I just wanted to get my mind off of Harry and everything else that surrounded him. I was even thinking of not coming back here in New York because if I'm here, it only reminds me of Harry."

Monique holds my hand. "Why are you being so hard on yourself? Didn't you tell me before how much you loved him and then one day I just found out that you left him like that."

I sigh. "Things went out of hand Monique. I didn't know what I should do anymore."

"Did the management get involve?"

I slowly nod.

"Those fuckers! I knew it! I fucking knew it! Did they threaten you so you could stay away from Harry?!" She raised her voice at me.

"They offered me money and asked me to name my price just so I could stay away from him." I answer her.

She gapes.

"Name your price?!" Monique scoffs. "That's just absolutely too much! Those people are just going way way overboard on everything!"

I wiped my escaping tears from the corner of my eyes. "They will do everything they can to win and to keep Harry away from me. And they won."

"Because you let them win." She spat and sighs heavily. "Oh my god! How they play so dirtily behind the fans' back. I can't believe they offered you money and asked you to name your price! I mean what kind of people would do such a thing like that? They think you can be bought?! I can't believe they can even do that! What a bunch of low hags!"

"I know. But it was Harry who made me even more worried. He was willing to give up everything for me."

"Whoa. Wait. Hold on. Everything?" Monique was surprised. "Everything in what aspect?"

I exhale heavily. "Everything that he worked for Monique. He was willing to turn his back to fame and to his fans just because he wanted to be with me."

She covers her mouth with her hands. "Really? Oh my god." She gapes.

"He didn't tell me he was planning on not renewing his contract with Modest!. He didn't tell me that he was going to leave the band just like Zayn did so he can be with me. He didn't tell me he had those all planned out without asking me if I was okay with it." I continued.

She smacks my arm. "He must have loved you so much! You're such an asshole! God I wonder why we even became friends."

"Ouch..."

She sighs heavily. "Are you really out of your mind? Or did you perhaps hit your head so bad against the wall? If I was you I will take that as the sweetest thing a guy could ever do to me! He was willing to turn his whole life around just to have you in it!"

"But I don't wanna see him ruining his own future for me! I don't want his fans to have the reason of hating me even more if he did gave everything up." I cried.

Monique looks at me warily.

"I don't wanna be the blame why he turned his back to everything he has right now. I don't wanna be the reason why he was self-destructing. When he'll look back at this point of his life, I don't want him to say that he lost everything he wanted just because he was in love with me. I don't want that Monique. I don't want him to look like my dad. I don't want him to look like a loser at life." I wiped my tears off.

I tried to breathe in and out. I tried to calm myself down but I was helplessly crying.

"Can you even imagine how Harry had worked on so hard for what he has right now and just let it all slip away so easily just because of me? Do you really think I can sleep at night if that even happened to him?" I asked her.

Monique didn't answer and just looked back at me ruefully.

"I probably can't sleep at all if that happened. It will always hunt me and my conscience every single day. I won't be able to have a good sleep every night if I let Harry destroy his all set future just because of me." I continued.

"Tate he loves you."

I weeped. "I know. That's why it hurts so much because he loves me too much. I see it when he looks at me. I feel it when he touches me. But the management just won't stop Monique."

She opened her arms to me and pulled me close to her coming to a hug. Monique starts rubbing my back as I cry over her shoulders.

"They told me that even if I stayed with Harry, they will still do everything they can to separate us. And I was so scared of the things that might happen if I stayed with him." I sobbed.

She releases me and wiped my tears. "I left him but that doesn't mean I didn't love him nor that I ever stopped loving him. I never stopped loving him. I couldn't stop. He never left."

She sighs as she pushes my hair behind my ear and smiled at me ruefully. "No wonder he wrote Lionheart for Demi. It was a very beautiful song and the lyrics were truly powerful." She says.

I breathe out heavily.

"So why are you here?" She asks. "What brings you back here in New York?"

"I don't know why even came back. I don't know what I am planning to do." I answer honestly.

Monique holds my hand. "To be honest with you, it's been three months since the last time that Harry visited."

Three months?

"I... I thought... I thought he was always coming over?" I ask her.

"He did at first." She answers. "Eventually he stopped. If you were him, would you still come back here when every time you come around the person you're looking for is nowhere to be seen?"

I purse my lips together.

"I can't blame Harry if he eventually grew tired of coming over here. I guess he's just relaxing and having a time off from everything just like you did. The band's on hiatus by the way and he already signed a new contract with a new management." She adds.

"New management?" I instantly gasped.

"He's under Jeff Azoff's. Jeff is Harry's good ole friend since way back. He signed with him. He can already freely do everything he wants."

"Yeah. Like those photos of him and Kendall being on a cruise ship together. No wonder he stopped visiting for three months." I answer.

She sighs. "Hey, you can't blame Harry if he wanted to get his mind off of you. I'm sure it's just some publicity stunt before he left his previous evil management."

"But their photos together. Have you even seen that?" I ask her.

Monique nods. "Publicity stunt. Stop jumping into conclusion. Okay?"

I sigh as I watch Monique stand from the couch and asks me, "So what are you gonna do now?"

"I don't know... I don't even know if Harry will still accept me."

She smiles. "I know what exactly you're gonna do to get his attention."

I purse my lips together. "What?"

"Post a selfie on your Instagram quote it with New York New York or Hello New York or much better I'm fucking back in New York Harry so come and see me because I'm still so fucking in love with you and I have so many things to explain to you why I fucking left you."

I roll my eyes at her then she playfully laughs at me. "But seriously Tate post a selfie on Instagram and quote it. To get Harry's attention. See if he's still gonna chase you after you left him just like that."

"And if he won't?" I asked nervously.

She sighs while looking at me. "Then be damned for your entire life for even leaving Harry for being such a coward."

I roll my eyes at her. "You're not helping. And for all I know I didn't leave him just like that! I told him why I needed to go. I had reasons."

"But you didn't tell him how the management offered you money and threatened you if still stay being with Harry."

"But they have a point Monique."

She groans. "Look. I'm cooking lunch by the way, and it's going to burn if you keep on arguing with me. Why won't you listen to me? Post a selfie on Instagram to get Harry's attention!"

I watch her as she head to the kitchen. I sit on the couch as I watch outside the window and thought about what Monique had told me. I wanted to give Harry a hint so bad that I'm back in New York and how I wanted him to come and see me but then I realize I'm still letting him chase me after I left him like that.

I decided to go to Tarry's crib when she began to cry. I'm probably sure that she just woke up from her nap. I rushed to her quickly and carried her on my arms, carrying her out from her crib. She looks at my face intently and stopped from crying when she realized that it wasn't her mother who was carrying.

"Do you remember me?" I coo.

"Oh you look more beautiful than the last time I saw you." I kiss her fluffy cheeks.

I moved my head to Monique and she was looking at me from the kitchen's threshold while she was holding a ladle. She smiles at me and says, "Have you already posted a photo on Instagram screaming to the world how badly you want to get Harry's attention again?" She asks.

"No." I answer her and placed Tarry down on the corner of the couch. She sits like a good girl and stopped from crying.

"I missed a lot of things that happened to Tarry while I was away." I tell Monique as I played with Tarry's octopus stuff toy.

She giggles cutely.

"Yeah you missed her baptism. You owe her. I still listed you as Tarry's godparent." She says.

I smile at her. "I can't believe I missed that. I promise I'll be here when she turns one."

"Great because Harry talked to me about it too and he wants to help with the party."

I gaped. "What?"

He nods. "He's also Tarry's godparent and he was there during the baptism and you weren't."

I sigh. "I'm sorry."

"But the thing I hate about Harry is how he nicknamed my daughter Tartar." Monique says which made me laugh. I could imagine Harry calling Tarry Tartar. That's so Harry, alright.

That's why I love that dork so much.

I stare at Tarry having fun with her gigantic stuffed octopus. Sometimes I wish things were as easy like how a being child was. Tarry seems to have no problems because she doesn't even care about the world. All she cares about is her toys, foods, diaper change, and milk. I stare longer at her and played with her then I had an idea out of the blue. I quickly grabbed my phone from the table and quickly turned on my camera.

"What are you doing?" Monique snapped.

I smiled at her. "Taking a photo of her."

She clicks her tongue, "You're using my daughter to get Harry's attention."

"I don't want to post a selfie. It's too obvious that I'm begging for his attention."

Monique smirks. "You are such a genius flirt. I don't know where you got it from."

"From you obviously." I smiled and she laughs.

Both of us began to make funny faces to get Tarry's attention. I took tons of photos and a few were blurry. I gave up when she worn me out and hoped that I took at least one not blurred photo of her. I scanned through the photos and thankfully I snapped a photo where Tarry was smiling so happily as she faced the camera.

I began to sit next to her and posted her photo on my Instagram account. It's been so long since I updated my Instagram account and I am really wishing that it will get Harry's attention. At least he will know that I'm back in New York.

"Do you think he will notice me Tarry?" I ask her while I was busy fixing her ponytail on top of her head.

She giggles and kept playing with Mr. Octopus. My phone suddenly beeps and as I looked at it, I got a notification from Instagram. It was Monique, commenting on the photo.

"You're welcome." I pulled my head up to her while she stands by the threshold.

"You do know it's already too damn obvious that we're setting him up because you commented." I say.

"He wont even mind it. Cmon, lunch is ready."

I smile and carried Tarry.