Chapter 31 Tears Behind Close Doors
Maddie Pov
Elara's family house was smaller than I expected but it felt warm the moment we walked through the front door. The whole place smelled like pine trees and cinnamon and something baking in the oven. It smelled like Silverfalland like home and like everything I had lost.
"Mom! Dad! We're here!" Elara called out as she dropped her bags by the door.
A woman came rushing out from what I assumed was the kitchen. She had the same wild brown curls as Elara and the same bright green eyes. She was wiping her hands on an apron that said "Kiss the Cook" in faded letters.
"Elara!" she said and pulled Elara into a huge hug. Then she turned to me and smiled so warmly it made my chest hurt. "And you must be Maddie. We've heard so much about you."
Before I could respond she pulled me into a hug too. It was tight and warm and smelled like vanilla and spices. I hadn't been hugged like this since my mother died. The realization hit me hard and sudden.
"It's so nice to meet you Mrs. Kane," I managed to say when she finally let me go.
"Oh please call me Linda," she said and waved her hand. "Mrs. Kane makes me feel ancient."
A man appeared behind her. Tall with graying hair and laugh lines around his eyes. "I'm Robert," he said and shook my hand. "Welcome to our home Maddie."
"Thank you for having me," I said quietly. "I really appreciate it."
"Nonsense," Linda said and put her arm around my shoulders. "Any friend of Elara's is family here. Now come in and get comfortable. Dinner will be ready soon."
Two younger kids came barreling down the stairs. A boy who looked about ten and a girl who couldn't be more than eight. They stopped when they saw me and stared with open curiosity.
"That's my brother Mason and my sister Lily," Elara said. "Guys this is Maddie."
"Hi," Mason said shyly.
Lily just waved and then ran back upstairs giggling.
Linda showed me to the guest room. It was small but cozy with a bed covered in a thick quilt and a window that looked out at the backyard. There was a little wooden dresser and a lamp on the nightstand.
"I hope this is okay," Linda said. "It's not much but it's yours for as long as you need it."
"It's perfect," I said and meant it. "Thank you so much."
"Dinner in twenty minutes," Linda said and squeezed my shoulder before leaving.
I sat on the bed and looked around the room. It was more than okay. It was wonderful. But something felt wrong. Something felt heavy in my chest.
That night after dinner we all sat in the living room. Robert built a fire in the fireplace and the flames crackled and popped. Linda brought out hot chocolate for everyone. Mason and Lily were playing some board game on the floor.
"Maddie we have something for you," Linda said suddenly. She stood up and walked over to the mantle. She came back with a red stocking that had my name embroidered on it in white thread.
"You made this for me?" I asked. My voice came out shaky.
"Of course we did," Linda said and hung it on the mantle next to the others. "Everyone in this house gets a stocking. You're part of the family now."
The words hit me like a physical blow. Family. The word I'd been avoiding. The word that hurt too much to think about.
"Thank you," I whispered. Tears were building in my eyes but I blinked them back.
"You're such a sweet girl," Linda said and kissed the top of my head. "We're so glad you're here with us."
Sweet girl. My mother used to call me that. The memory came rushing back so fast I couldn't stop it. My mother's voice. My mother's smile. My mother's hands braiding my hair.
"I'm going to use the bathroom," I said quickly and stood up. "Excuse me."
I walked down the hallway and found the bathroom. Locked the door behind me. Turned on the fan so nobody would hear.
Then I slid down to sit on the cold tile floor and let myself cry.
The sobs came hard and fast. They shook my whole body. I pressed my hands over my mouth to muffle the sounds but they still escaped.
I missed my parents so much it physically hurt. I missed my mother's voice calling me sweet girl. I missed my father's laugh when I told him something funny. I missed the way they hugged me. I missed the way our house smelled at Christmas. I missed everything about them.
They were gone. Really truly gone. And no amount of Linda's kindness or Robert's welcome or this cozy house with its cinnamon smell would bring them back.
I was an orphan. The word felt ugly in my head. I had no parents. No home. No family of my own. I was living off someone else's charity and trying to pretend it didn't hurt.
"Why did they have to die?" I whispered to the empty bathroom. "Why did someone have to kill them? Why couldn't they just be here?"
Gory was quiet in my head. She had no answers. She never did.
I cried until my throat hurt and my eyes burned and there were no more tears left. I cried until I was empty and hollow and numb.
Then I stood up. Washed my face in the sink. Looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes were red and puffy. My face was blotchy. I looked like exactly what I was. A girl who had lost everything.
I splashed more cold water on my face. Tried to make the redness go away. Tried to look normal again so nobody would ask questions.
There was a soft knock on the door. "Maddie?" It was Elara's voice. "You okay in there?"
"Yeah," I called back. My voice sounded rough. "I'll be out in a minute."
"Take your time," Elara said.
I took a few more deep breaths. Dried my face with a towel. Tried to pull myself together. This family had been nothing but kind to me. They didn't deserve to deal with my breakdown.