Chapter 29 No Place Called Home
Maddie Pov
The semester was ending. Two more weeks until winter break. Two more weeks until everyone went home. Went to their families. Went to their warm houses and Christmas trees and people who loved them.
I sat on my bed. Stared at my empty suitcase on the floor. Open. Waiting. Mocking me. Where was I supposed to go? I had no home. No family. No place that wanted me.
My parents were dead. My old house was probably sold by now. My old friends weren't friends anymore. I had nothing. Nobody. Nowhere.
"Maybe the school will let me stay," Gory suggested weakly. "Some students stay over break."
"Maybe," I said. But I didn't want to be here alone. Didn't want to spend Christmas in an empty dorm eating cafeteria food by myself. Didn't want to be more pathetic than I already was.
Tears built in my eyes. I blinked them back. Refused to cry. Refused to feel sorry for myself. This was my reality now. Alone. Always alone.
The door burst open. Elara came in like a tornado. Didn't knock. Never knocked. Just barged in with this huge smile on her face.
"Pack your stuff," Elara said. Walked over to my closet. Started pulling out clothes. "You're coming with me."
"What?" I asked. Confused. "Coming where?"
"To my family's house for the holidays," Elara said. Like it was obvious. Like it was already decided. "My mom's making ham. My dad always burns the cookies. My little siblings are annoying but cute. You'll love it."
"Elara I can't," I said. "I can't just invite myself to your family's house."
"You're not inviting yourself," Elara said. "I'm inviting you. Already told my mom. She's excited. Already making up the guest room."
"But," I started. "But I don't have money for a gift. I don't have nice clothes. I don't have anything to bring."
"So?" Elara said. She stopped pulling clothes. Turned to look at me. "You think my family cares about that? You think we're those kind of people?"
"I don't want to be charity," I said quietly. "Don't want to be the sad case everyone feels sorry for."
"You're not charity," Elara said firmly. "You're my friend. My best friend. And friends spend holidays together. That's normal. That's what people do."
"Really?" I asked. My voice came out small. Hopeful. Scared to believe it.
"Really," Elara said. She walked over. Sat next to me on the bed. "Look. I know you don't have anywhere to go. I know you lost your parents. I know everything sucks right now. But you don't have to be alone. You don't have to spend Christmas in an empty dorm. You can come with me. Be part of my family. Even if it's just for a few weeks."
Tears filled my eyes. Real ones this time. Not sad tears. Grateful tears. "You really want me there?"
"Of course I want you there," Elara said. "Who else is going to help me survive my annoying relatives? Who else is going to eat way too much pie with me? Who else is going to stay up late watching terrible movies?"
I looked at her. At this girl who barely knew me. Who had no reason to care. Who kept showing up anyway. Kept being there. Kept being my friend when nobody else would.
"Thank you," I whispered. "Thank you so much."
"Don't thank me yet," Elara said. Grinned. "You haven't met my family. They're kind of a lot. Very loud. Very nosy. They're going to ask you a million questions."
"I don't care," I said. "I'll answer whatever they want. I'll do whatever you need. I just. I'm so grateful. You have no idea."
"I have some idea," Elara said softly. "I know what it's like to feel alone. To feel like nobody wants you. It sucks. But you're not alone anymore okay? You have me. You have my family. You have a place to go."
The tears fell then. Couldn't stop them. Didn't want to. Just let them come. Let myself cry. Let myself feel the relief. The gratitude. The overwhelming emotion of not being abandoned.
Elara wrapped her arms around me. Pulled me into a hug. Tight. Warm. Safe. I buried my face in her shoulder. Sobbed. Let everything out. All the fear. All the loneliness. All the pain.
"It's okay," Elara said. Rubbing my back. "Let it out. You're allowed to cry. You're allowed to feel everything."
"I thought I'd be alone," I said between sobs. "I thought I'd spend Christmas by myself. I thought nobody wanted me."
"I want you," Elara said. "My family wants you. You're not alone Maddie. Not anymore. Not ever again if I can help it."
I cried harder. Couldn't help it. Couldn't control it. Just held onto her. Held onto this person who kept saving me. Kept showing up. Kept being exactly what I needed when I needed it.
"Thank you," I said again. "Thank you. Thank you. Thank you."
"Stop thanking me," Elara said. Laughed a little. "You're making me cry now. Then we'll both be a mess."
I pulled back. Wiped my face. Tried to smile. "Sorry. I'm just. I'm really emotional right now."
"It's fine," Elara said. "Emotion is good. Means you're human. Means you're feeling things. That's healthy."
"I feel a lot of things," I admitted. "Mostly grateful. And relieved. And scared I'll mess this up somehow."
"You won't mess it up," Elara said. "Just be yourself. My family will love you. Trust me."
"What if they don't?" I asked. "What if they think I'm weird? What if they don't want me there?"
"Then they're idiots," Elara said. "But they're not. They're actually pretty cool. My mom especially. She's great. Very motherly. Very warm. She'll probably try to feed you constantly."
"That sounds nice," I said. Tried to imagine it. A real mother. Someone motherly. Someone who cared. "I haven't had that in a while."
"Well you're about to have it for two weeks straight," Elara said. "So prepare yourself. My mom goes overboard with everything. Cooking. Decorating. Making sure everyone's happy. It's a lot but in a good way."
"I can handle a lot," I said. "As long as it's good a lot."
"It is," Elara promised. "It's loud and chaotic and sometimes overwhelming but it's good. It's family. It's home."
Home. The word echoed in my chest. I hadn't had a home in so long. Hadn't felt safe. Hadn't felt wanted. Hadn't felt like I belonged anywhere.