63, Regrets

Colin’s POV

Adina looked nervous as they sat down to take the conference call with the White Rose pack. Colin took her hand and placed a kiss on it.

“You got this,” Sean told her, and Colin sent him a smile. They could both feel how nervous she was.

The meeting started, and Colin could see the faces of all the council members on the large screen on his office wall.

“Good evening; thank you for joining the meeting on such short notice. I have several things I need to talk to you about,” Adina said. Most of the members nodded.

“First, I would like to apologise. I have not been honest with you. And though it was for a good reason, I don’t like using these methods,” she then told them and took a deep breath.

“I told you I had executed Cleatus as soon as I discovered he was a traitor. In reality, I held him captive to get information from him. I didn’t tell you as I didn’t know if he had friends amongst you that would try to free him,” she continued.

“Why have you changed your mind?” a dryad asked.

“Because, after being deprived of blood for weeks, Cleatus cracked and told me everything. After that, I drove a stake through his heart this morning,” Adina said.

Colin watched every face on the screen. He looked for signs of sorrow, fear or horror. But he only saw agreement and relief as the pack members nodded.

Adina took another deep breath and told them what Cleatus had said. The faces on the screen changed. They now showed horror, disgust, and anger. Colin couldn’t be entirely sure, but he would say the rest of the pack was loyal to Adina.

‘You know them better than I. Are their reactions genuine?’ Colin mind linked Sean.

‘I would say that they are. I don’t see any signs of deception,’ Sean replied.

‘We can trust them?’ Colin asked.

‘I would say so. As much as we will trust Adina’s safety to others,’ Sean added.

Colin smiled; he appreciated having Sean, that was as obsessed with Adina’s and their pup’s safety as he was. It made life better.

“This is most troubling,” Remus, the dryad, sighed as Adina finished.

“It is,” Cernack nodded.

“We need to take action immediately,” Cranney said.

“There is more,” Adina told them and looked at Colin.

Colin nodded and told them about the increased rogue activity in the area. He told them that several packs had noticed the same thing.

“You think it’s connected?” Roger asked.

“We suspect it has,” Sean nodded.

“I will train the pack warriors to fight vampires, and we have increased security,” Sean continued.

“Good,” Cernack nodded.

“I am going to call on the Thorns,” Adina said, and the meeting became dead silent. Colin would have thought there was a disconnect if he hadn’t seen some of the pack members moving on the screen.

“You are mobilising the Thorns?” Domea, a vampire, asked.

“I am. Whether we need the support to protect the pack or if we need it to attack the enemy’s compound. The Thorns are needed,” Adina said.

“You are right,” Cranney nodded. “If we had known the danger your family was in, we would have mobilised them back then. We won’t make the same mistake twice,” he added.

“We will arrange it and send them to you, my lady,” Cernack said.

“Thank you,” Adina told them with a nod.

The meeting ended, and all three of them relaxed.

“Come on; you have had a long day. We can all need an early night,” Colin told Adina and held out his hand.

“Do you want a snack or something to drink?” Sean asked her as they were walking back.

“No, I’m fine. But I like the idea of just snuggling in for the night. I’m not tired, but we can talk for a while in bed,” Adina told them.

Fifteen minutes later, Colin was smiling at Adina, who had passed out cold the minute they got into bed.

“Not tired at all,” Sean chuckled as he gently adjusted his position without waking Adina.

Sean was lying behind Adina, now propped up on his elbow, looking down at her. Colin was lying on his back with Adina’s head on his chest as she gently snored.

“I guess her pregnancy won’t make her less stubborn,” Colin smiled.

“I think you are right. It will be tricky to keep them safe without making her feel like we are trying to stomp all over her,” Sean agreed.

“She’s an alpha; you thought me that,” Colin sighed.

“Would you rather have had someone more submissive?” Sean asked.

“No. Life might have been easier. But I like a challenge, and I don’t want my life to be any different,” Colin said honestly.

“You don’t regret anything?” Sean asked.

Colin understood what he was asking and realised that he and Sean had never discussed their relationship one-on-one. They had just always gone with it.

“No. I mean it when I say I wouldn’t want it any other way. I can admit that I had a hard time accepting you at first. But now that I know you, I can’t see my life without you in it. How about you? Any regrets?” Colin told him. Colin saw a smile on Sean’s face.

“To be honest, it was hard keeping my feelings from Adina all these years,” Sean said, looking down on their sleeping mate.

“Why did you? The way you have lived, the relationship you two had. It must have crossed your mind that she might reciprocate your feelings,” Colin asked.

“Maybe. But I also knew that there was a possibility that she would find her mate. Especially with our life, we were always travelling and going to new packs. I didn’t want to put her in the position to choose between a mate and me,” Sean said.

“But now, with how it turned out, I am not sorry that I walked the path I chose. My life with you and Adina is more than I could ever have imagined. I didn’t think I would have these feelings for you, but I do, and I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Sean told him.

Colin smiled at him and reached out for Sean’s hand, resting on Adina’s waist. Their fingers intertwined. Colin reminded himself that he and Sean should have more of these types of talks.

Adina’s POV

The day after the big revelation, Adina’s brain was still trying to accept that she had a living family member. A family member was trying to kill her, but still. The thought felt odd for someone who didn’t have that for so many years.

She would have preferred if she and her cousin could sit down and talk. She wanted to know this person. How had her life been? If she had grown up with the burdens of being someone others wanted her to be? Adina knew how that felt.

Did she genuinely hate Adina and her bloodline? Or did she have doubts about this feud? Was there a way to find out, or should Adina give up and accept it?

Adina was sitting in Colin’s office by the conference table. She had been trying to work but was frustrated with being unable to keep a line of thought; she turned the chair around and was now looking out the window. Deep in thought.

“Are you missing him?” Colin suddenly asked, and Adina jumped. She hadn’t realised that he had walked up to her.

“Who?” she asked him when she realised he had asked her a question.

Colin chuckled and kissed her on the head.

“Sean. I know you are used to being together a lot more than you have been today,” he said, nodding down to where Jason and Sean were training the warriors.

“Oh, no. Well, I do miss him, but not more than usual, like I always do when we are apart like I miss you when we are a part,” she rambled and then sighed.

“You get what I mean, right?” she asked, feeling defeated.

“I do, baby. It’s okay, relax,” Colin said and started rubbing her shoulders.

“What has gotten you so distracted?” he asked.

“Diedre,” Adina told him.

“Ah, I can understand why that is messing with your head,” Colin said as he kept massaging her shoulders.

“I just want to get to know my only living relative,” Adina confessed.

“I get that, baby. But do you think it would be safe?” he asked.

“Probably not,” she said.

“We might find a way to make that possible a little further down the road, but for now, it’s not a reasonable thing to do,” he pointed out.

“I know,” she nodded.

“I’m sorry, baby.”

“It’s not your fault, Colin. It is what it is. I need a day…” she tried to find the words she was looking for.

“You need a day with the ‘what ifs’,” Colin said.

“Yeah,” she sighed.

“That’s okay. Take your time. You got a lot of information dumped on you yesterday. Sean will be done with training soon, and then we’ll eat dinner. Until then, just let your thoughts run wild,” Colin told her.

She was grateful for his understanding. He kissed her on top of her head again and turned around to walk away.

“Colin?” Adina asked.

“Yes?”

“Do you think my uncle would have been alive if he knew he had a daughter?” she asked.

“I don’t know, baby. Maybe, but he lost his mate and two pups. Few wolves can survive that,” Colin told her and put a hand on her shoulder.

“I know. And I know I wasn’t enough reason for him to keep living, but maybe she could have been,” Adina said.

“Hey, baby. Don’t say it like that,” Collin told her. She just shrugged.

She had learnt to live with the feeling of guilt she always had when she thought about her uncle. Colin scooped her up and sat down with her in his lap. Adina curled up and sought the comfort of her mate.

“You can’t believe that you weren’t enough, Adina,” he said as he held her tight.

“It’s not a matter of believing, Colin. I obviously wasn’t, as he chose to die rather than to stay with me,” she told him.

They sat like that in silence for a while. Adina heard the office door open and close. Sean came walking over to them. He knelt in front of them and took her hands in his.

“What happened to your uncle is not your fault, Adina. He was grieving and didn’t know how to handle his feelings. If he could have, he would have seen how much you needed him, and it would have been enough,” Sean told her, looking her in the eyes.

It wasn’t the first time they had had this conversation. Adina sighed and nodded. She could see that Sean still was worried about her. He kissed the palms of her hands, and Adina let one of her hands rest on his cheek.

Sean’s phone dinged, and he sighed and opened it to read the message. His face told Adina that it was terrible news. She sat up in Colin’s lap, and Colin tightened his hold on her. He could feel it as well.

“It’s my Finnish contacts. We have a problem. We should move Adina out of the area,” Sean said.