62, Preparations

Adina’s POV

It had been the first time she intentionally had killed another living being. Adina expected to feel remorse or guilt. But she didn’t, which worried her.

They had gotten back in the car and were driving home. Both Sean and Colin were sitting impossibly close to her. She felt their protective instincts. But they didn’t say anything. They let her have a moment to herself and let her know they were there.

She could have let either of them kill Cleatus. They wouldn’t have objected or questioned it. Even Cernack would have done it if she had asked him. She knew this. But she had felt that it had been her duty as an alpha. It had also been personal vengeance. Cleatus had had a hand in the killing of her family.

But the lack of feeling for what she had done still worried her. What she had said to Cleatus about the Beloved One not being detached was true. She couldn’t afford to be anything else but completely compassionate. Was she losing her compassion?

“What are you thinking about?” Collin asked her and ran his hand through her hair.

“Am I becoming an uncaring person?” Adina asked.

“No,” both her mates responded without hesitation.

“Why would you think that, sweetheart?” Sean asked.

“I don’t feel guilty that I killed Cleatus,” she said, looking down at her hands in her lap.

“Why would you?” Colin asked, covering both her hands with one of his.

“Because even though he was a traitor and a general misguided individual, he was still a person. How can I live by the code that each life is important if I can’t even bring myself to feel guilt when I have ended one?” she sighed.

“Adina, that is not how things work. Even if we believe that all life is important, we sometimes need to take a life,” Colin said.

“I know, but shouldn’t I at least feel something when I do it?”

“Remember when we were ambushed while transferring between packs?” Sean asked.

“Yes,” she nodded.

“That was the first time I had to kill someone. I killed a lot of rouges that day, and I did it without hesitation as it kept you safe. Remember what you told me after?” Sean asked her.

“I told you that you didn’t have a choice and shouldn’t feel guilty. That it was their decisions that led them to attack us. They knew that by attacking us, they put their own lives in danger,” Adina said.

“As did Cleatus. For over a hundred years, he has been betraying the pack. You can’t tell me you think he didn’t know the consequences if he got caught. You didn’t choose to end his life. He chose it when he became a traitor,” Sean told her and gently tilted her chin up so she would look at him.

“You have nothing to feel bad about. You did what any alpha would have done. If he had been left to live, he would have put others in danger,” Colin agreed.

“I know,” Adina nodded.

“Don’t feel bad, baby. And if you do, tell Sean and us, and I will remind you that you are an amazing person,” Colin told her.

“Okay,” she said.

“Promise?” Sean asked.

“I promise,” she agreed.

“Try to sleep a little,” Sean told her.

Colin gently coaxed her head down on his shoulder, and Sean took her hand and gently rubbed the area between her thumb and index finger. It usually helped with the motion sickness; she felt more relaxed and drifted off to sleep.

A couple of hours later, they were back home, and Adina was sitting on the couch in their apartment, drinking tea since coffee was no longer an option. They would have a meeting with the beta and gamma couple to let them know the situation.

Adina felt a little guilty for putting Clara in the middle of all this so soon after she had moved packs and found her mate. But it would be nice to have the pack doctor included in these meetings.

Sean came and handed her a plate with a sandwich and an apple. He then sat down next to her. She looked at the food and scrunched her nose.

“You need to eat,” Sean simply said.

“I don’t feel like it,” she told him. He gave her a look, and she sighed and bit into the apple.

Sean smiled and took out his tablet, and started working. A moment later, Colin walked in with his laptop and sat down with them. He started his laptop and started working as well.

“Wouldn’t you be more comfortable at your desk?” Adina asked.

“This is fine,” Colin smiled.

“Sure, but we have desks in the apartment that you can use,” she pointed out.

“I know, but I enjoy being close to you,” he said.

“That’s sweet, but I can sit at the desk as well if you like,” she offered.

“No, you are comfortable here. I’m fine as well,” Colin told her.

“Let him sit on the couch and work. Eat your sandwich,” Sean said without looking up from his work.

“Fine,” Adina sighed.

She thought about getting her laptop, but her thoughts were still too scattered after the day’s revelation. She wondered if some part of her uncle had known about his daughter. Or if he had known, if it would have stopped him from going on that suicide mission.

She wondered who her cousin was. Did she hate Adina as Cleatus seemed to have done? Had she been raised feeling Adina had taken away something from her? She sighed as she realised she would never get the answers by thinking about it.

“What are you working on?” she asked Sean.

“I’m looking up Cleatus’ ancestral home in Finland,” he said. “It’s been a while since we were in that part of the world,” he added.

“Yes, last time we stayed with the pack in Lapland. That was an amazing year,” she reminisced.

“The midnight sun and the aroura Borealis were something out of this world,” Sean agreed.

“Thank you for looking it up,” Adina told him and kissed his cheek.

“What are you doing?” she asked Colin.

“I’m looking over our allied packs. We need to set up a call with them,” he said.

“Do you think we will need it?” she asked.

“I would rather do it and not need it than not do it and then need it,” she told her.

“Sounds reasonable,” she smiled and kissed him on the cheek.

“Now eat your sandwich,” they both said.

“Fine,” Adina told them and started eating. She discovered she was starving, and the sandwich just vanished.

When the others joined them, they went into Colin’s office and sat at the conference table. Adina, Colin and Sean filled them in on what had happened, with some background information for Clara’s sake.

“Are you okay?” Julia asked Adina.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” she smiled.

“That is a lot of things to take in,” Clara said. They all nodded.

“What is the next step?” Mateo asked.

“Cernack has set up a conference call with the White Rose pack this evening. Adina will fill them in, and then we need to plan how to take them down,” Colin said seriously.

“You want to attack them?” Jason asked.

“We can’t sit around waiting for them to attack us,” Colin told them. “Not when they may find out that Adina is pregnant. They won’t be happy about that,” he added.

“What if it’s too late?” Jason asked, and everyone looked at him.

“Explain,” Colin said.

“What if the increase in rogue activity we have seen lately is a step in their final plan? Even though every pack around us reports the same thing, no one is being attacked. There are no incidents. That doesn’t sound like normal rogue behaviour,” Jason said.

“No, it doesn’t,” Colin agreed.

“We can check with our contacts in Finland if they have noticed a decrease in rogues in the same period that we have seen the increase,” Sean said.

“That’s a good plan,” Adina nodded.

“We should also talk to our neighbouring packs to make them aware of the situation and that we might need help,” Colin said.

“There are also two covens and dryad tribe nearby. I will talk to them as well,” Adina added.

“We also need to make our warriors aware of what is happening and prepare,” Jason said.

“I would like to be with you when you talk to them,” Sean said. Jason smiled and nodded.

After the meeting, Adina took some time to think about what she would say to the council. They needed unity if they were going to handle this. Sean had gone with Jason to speak to the warriors. Colin was next to her, absentmindedly playing with her hand as he was reading something on his computer.

“How did it go?” Colin asked when Sean returned.

“It went well. They are well trained and motivated. We went through what they should focus on in a fight against vampires. It’s a daunting task, but we will focus on it during training from now on,” Sean said.

“Can you assist Jason in all the training for the moment?” Colin asked.

“It’s my plan,” Sean nodded.

“Adina can join me in my office when you see to training,” Colin said.

“Sounds good, then she can be with me when I’m not training,” Sean nodded.

“She is sitting right here and will be a part of this decision,” Adina said, looking at her mates.

“Of course, baby,” Colin agreed, kissing her lightly.

“Wouldn’t dream of having it any other way,” Sean told her and kissed her.

“Okay then,” she said.

“I think it’s time to mobilise the Thorns,” Adina said to Sean.

He looked at her for a moment, and then he nodded.

“What are the Thorns?” Colin asked.

“Most members of the council have access to warriors. Most of the members that have access to warriors choose their most loyal ones, and they are sworn in to protect the Beloved One. They are not full members of the pack but can be used as protection,” Sean explained.

“They are rarely used in that capacity. But individual members use them to organise raids against the Order, or whatever we should call this new organisation,” Adina told him.

“Last time the Thorns were summoned to be used as a single force was during the war between humans and magical creatures, almost five hundred years ago,” she then said.

“If we find out the rogues are part of the rogues under Cleatus’ father. Then it will be a good idea to activate them and send them here to join our defences. They are a formidable force, even if they are few. The combination of the top warriors from each race is intimidating,” Sean agreed.

“That sounds like a good plan. I’ll agree to anything that keeps Adina safe,” Colin said.