Chapter 14 His Confession
“Summer, I will love to be alone!” I cried running up the stairs to my room as she followed and I slammed the door behind me and leaned against it.
A soft knock came after.
“Bree, if you need to talk I will be here. Don’t just lock yourself up without letting your feelings out, it won’t be good for you. I will always be here when you need me.”
I inhaled deeply, my tears flowing down my cheeks as silence came then the sound of her walking away and a door closing softly later. I closed my eyes feeling a pant of pain in my chest.
My heart felt like it was being shredded into pieces bit by bit. I felt disgusted.
Peeling off my clothes, I walked into the bathroom and turned on the hot shower. Feeling the heat of the water on my body, I scrubbed and srubbed trying to get the smell of the basement off my skin.
If only the water could also wash off all my memories. I always had this feeling of trying to break through Barth’s walls despite his attempts to push me away and even though deep inside me I knew it wasn’t right and it wasn’t my place, my body didn’t care.
And now, after witnessing that I don’t know what to think anymore…
I hated violence with every bit in me. I cringed under the shower going down the memory lane. I turned off the shower and grabbed my towel.
I stared at the mirror as I wiped myself. I glanced at the picture frame on the counter. Picking it up, I wiped the speck of dust on it, a sad smile forming on my lips.
It was a picture of me and my father. We looked so happy in it. I won a dancing competition back then in middle school and my father was proud, talking about it to whoever wanted to listen. He was one of the reasons I loved dancing. I had made it my passion and he had supported me at every turn. But that was before he changed into a monster I never knew he could be.
A knock came at the door and I groaned while putting on my pajamas. It sounded again.
“Summer, I have told you I don’t want to… talk.”
The rest of my sentence faded away as I saw who was at the door.
“Uhm hi. I’m not summer.”
I bit on my lips as I noticed how anxious and nervous he looked as he spoke. His big frame was literally covering up the whole door as he stared at me. His usually well groomed hair was disheveled, probably due to him running his fingers through them often.
Stupidly I was still affected by his presence. I couldn’t even steady my breathing!
“What… what do you want?” I asked after gaining my voice back.
“Can we talk?” He raised a brow.
My jaw tightened a bit as I contemplated. My room was arranged though but do I really want to speak to him right now?
Noticing my reluctance he said, “Please.”
I walked away from the door towards my bed and sat on it, hugging my pillow to my legs. He walked in and sat down on the bed across from me.
I looked him all in. His lips were bursted and red due to the impact of his opponent punch, my eyes went to his knuckles and they were purple and bleeding even much worse than the last time.
“Why didn’t you treat your wounds?” I half yelled, jumping off my bed with such a speed that made him flinch.
“I… I wanted to see you first,” he muttered and I scoffed, grabbing the first aid box.
“Why?” I took his fingers into mine, taking in a deep breath as I felt the roughness of his palm. I dabbed the iodine onto the wounds earning a hiss from him and I blowed gently on it to ease his pain.
His fingers brushed against my cheek as he tucked my hair at the back of my ears with his other hand and I swallowed. Avoiding his gaze, I worked on his lips.
“You haven’t answered me,” I stated breaking the uncomfortable silence.
The heat from his body was messing with my head and the way his gaze bore into me I felt as though I could erupted at any second.
“I really don’t know Yvonne,” He wince and I stepped away from him, keeping the box back in its place before going back to sit on the bed. “I just felt I owed you an explanation but you didn’t give me the opportunity to do so before running off.”
My brows shot up in annoyance. “I didn’t run off!”
He smirked earning a glare from me. “If you say so… Yvonne, I have been trying to shield you away from me but tonight you have finally seen me.”
“Oh yeah of course. You are a hockey star player at daytime and a criminal at night or should I say a thug?”
He chuckled slightly. “I’m neither. Look, I have a baggage that I do not want to burden anyone with it more or less burden you with it.”
But I want it.
The words were at the tip of my tongue but I swallowed it down.
His eyes softened as he stared at me. This was the first time I could sense affection from him towards me and was it fear as well?
“I am only trying to protect you.”
“What if I don’t want to be protected?” I say before I could stop myself. Heat flush up to my cheeks as I turned red.
“This isn’t a joke, Yvonne.” His expression turned serious. “We both know what’s at stake here. I’m trying to stay away from you, don’t make it anymore harder than it seemed.”
He stood up and stared at me in silence. “You deserve better and I’m sorry but I can’t be the one for you. I’m ruined and you can’t fix me no matter how hard you try. No one can.”
My heart broke again for the second time at his words. I watched as he walked out of my room but he stopped, looking over his shoulder at me.
“Also, stay away from Ryan. Him bringing you over to the basement wasn’t to have fun with you but to mess around with us. Be careful.”
With that he was gone.