Ch162 Heartbroken

She expected she would bite the old wolf first, but instead Eirwen bit her. It took Sasa by surprise since she wasn’t expecting it, and Eirwen hadn’t made any warning gestures that she was going to bite. She just bent down and bit Sasa’s neck. Eirwen drank deeply and quickly, stirring the hunger is Sasa quicker than it normally came. Was this why Fenris liked to bite more than be bitten? Was this closer to what real vampire hunger felt like? Eirwen lifted her wrist up to Sasa’s mouth. Sasa needed no prompting, she latched on and drank from the old she-wolf. It burned slightly, like Sköll’s fangs had. However, Sasa didn’t stop, and neither did Eirwen. Uncertain how much time passed, Sasa only knew they didn’t stop until the fire in her blood settled and only burned at the same strength it ever had. She had never noticed before how warm her blood felt in her own skin.

“It is the wolf, wolf blood boils with their rage. That is why it feels like fire compared to the vampire blood. That is one reason vampires crave it. Vampires like the warmth, and it is warmer than human blood,”

“Sköll said once wolves that taste vampire blood crave it just the same. Why?”

“Because it is cool, like ice water if the vampire hasn’t eaten recently. It also holds the power and magic of the vampire whether the vampire has learned of it or not. Wolves have genetic knowledge and can even taste it in others,” Eirwen explained. How do you feel?

“I feel like singing, and running,” Sasa admitted, “I also want to kill,”

Eirwen smiled, “Good. You feel more like your old self. Do you want to lead the song, dear heart?” Eirwen asked as she bumped her head into Sasa’s.

Sasa began to howl. It was a sad song of loss and heartbreak. Eirwen joined in after a few moments. Several moments later more and more wolves joined in until everyone was singing with the heart broken Sasa. She felt sturdier and whole again as she felt the song of Luna in her veins strong once more. However, the strengthening of her wolf blood strengthening her feeling of loss and loneliness. She had given up her mate to save him and she could never get him back. Never in the same way at least. With those thoughts her song grew louder and more sorrowful. They sang until dawn when Sasa fell asleep in Eirwen’s lap. Eirwen stood and passed the pup off to Sköll

“She needs her mate,”

Sköll dipped his head, “I know. The whole pack knows. We are only waiting on her word to return home. Her puppies need her, then we will stand behind her to fetch her mate. He was willing to stand by her as a human, I can allow her to do the same. It will be no different than a normal wolf. I only grieve for her that her first mate is her true mate,”

Eirwen pet her head, “She is young. I could never imagine losing Sebastian, but perhaps her age is a blessing. There will be other men for her,”

“My apologies Lady Eirwen, but it will never be the same. I do not believe my pup will ever mate again. She tends to avoid things that cause her pain. The loss of a mate may keep her from mating again if only to avoid that loss,”

“Don’t fret old friend,” Dagrim said as he laid a hand on Sköll’s shoulder. “It’s Fenris and Sasa. Nothing keeps them apart. If I’ve learned anything from this child, it’s that she seems to be able to do the impossible. I think we should begin our journey home before nightfall. She was adamant about going to Norway earlier this week. She needs to see Ragnar and Astrid,”

Sköll nodded, then bowed as best he could to Eirwen. “The Old One is right. We should go ahead and leave now while she can’t protest. Thank you again Lady Eirwen for all your help,”

Eirwen dipped her head, “Allow me one more thing. Take these clothes for her. I had Sebastian fetch them for me. It will do her good not to wake once more in the torn rags of her torment,”

Dagrim nodded as he took the clothes. “Fair point. If you ever need anything of us, you know where to find us,”

Eirwen nodded. The two men walked back to Drakon’s house to fetch Leo and change Sasa. When they were about to throw Sasa’s clothes into the fire Leo grabbed her green coat. Leo knew no matter how tattered or dirty it was, Sasa wanted it. She had told him it was the last thing Fenris had bought for her. The men allowed Leo to save it, but didn’t put it back on her. Drakon wished them safe travels and they set off. Dagrim carried Sasa, and Leo rode on Sköll’s back as the two ran at speeds no human could match. By night fall when they rested, they were on the far banks of the great Lake Huron, in which Round Island sat.

“I know the boy is tired, so am I, but we should continue until she awakens,” Sköll panted wearily.

Dagrim frowned, “I know. If you allow me, I can go ahead and you two can catch up,”

Sköll nodded, “Sounds like a plan. Perhaps we can ride a bus for an hour or two. Do you have money I can have?”

Dagrim handed Sköll his wallet. The wolf nodded and pocketed it. “Come on boy, we are going to get food and the ride a bus for a while,”

“Will Sasa be alright?” Leo asked as Dagrim picked his daughter up again.

“Onisagira will be fine. I will let her know you’re with Sköll and should be home by morning. Safe travels,”

“You too,” Sköll said as he and Leo walked away.

Dagrim practically flew home with Sasa so he could get her there before she woke up. Luckily, he was walking down the long path that led from the dock to the house when she stirred in his arms.

“Daddy, I smell the lake,” Sasa murmured.

“Yes, beloved daughter, because we are home,”

Sasa sat straight up and looked around, the sunbaked tiles, and stained-glass roof of the mansion visible over the tree line. She glared at her father.

“I wanted to go to Norway, not home!” Sasa protested.

“Have you forgotten about Ragnar and Astrid? They’ve gone over a year without their mother, they need you too,”

Sasa shrank in Dagrim’s arms, “But I lost their papa, how can I face them now? And Bernard and Ryuji, what am I going to tell them?”

Sasa had started shaking in Dagrim’s arms. He bent his head down and touched it to hers comfortingly. “Settle, Onisagira, all will be well. Bernard and Ryuji already know something has happened to Fenris. They think he is dead; they don’t know he is still alive. It will be good news to them. Ragnar will think you have abandoned them if you run now, and Astrid misses you terribly. They just need you for a few nights, then you can go on your rescue mission. Also, you told Eirwen you needed Fenris’s blood to break the memory block and turn him back. What do you plan on doing with a human Fenris?”

“I don’t know. I normally wing stuff,” Sasa pouted.

Dagrim chuckled, “Come, you are needed,”

Sasa made no further protests as Dagrim walked up to the house. He sat her down at the door and opened it, walking in. Following, Sasa realized how long it felt since she had been home. No sooner was she in the door than she had little arms wrapped around her. Hugging her daughter Sasa held on to Astrid. She had grown since the last they saw each other; the tiny little girl was now almost Sasa’s height. Ragnar walked up behind his sister and hugged Sasa too, he was nearly as tall as Fenris. Trying not to cry Sasa just held her children, until Ragnar smacked her in the head. Pulling back and rubbing her head, Sasa glared at the boy.

“Don’t ever scare us like that again!” Ragnar demanded. “You were only supposed to be gone for a weekend. Stupid, don’t tell me you forgot how long that is,”

“Don’t talk to your mother like that Ragnar,” Sasa scolded as she hugged him again.

“Mama, where’s papa?” Astrid asked looking around, “And grandpa Sköll? I saw gido, but not grandpa,”

“Grandpa Sköll is coming, I think,” Sasa said as she looked over at Dagrim.

Dagrim nodded, “I wanted to get you home as soon as possible, so Sköll and Leo are coming along,”

“What about the vampire, where is he? And who is Leo?”

Sasa just stood there, holding Astrid, and petting her head sadly. What was she to tell them?

“Papa is alive, isn’t he? Big brothers Bernard and Ryuji got really upset a while ago. Big brother Bernard kept saying he knew you’d get papa killed one day, but I thought he was just saying things,”

Sasa pet her head some more, playing with her hair. So, changing him back made it feel like he was dead? It made sense, she severed his connection to them as their sire. “Papa isn’t dead, little one,”

“Then where is he? You’re acting all mopey like he is,” Ragnar demanded.

“Do you pups remember the story of how I got turned back into a human for a decade?” Sasa asked gently.

Astrid and Ragnar nodded.

“That is where Fenris is. He is in the human world. He is alive, but lost. He has no memories of us and he’s all alone. I need to go get him, but gido brought me here first,” Sasa explained.

Astrid squeezed her mum tighter, “I’m glad he did. We missed you. Did you see Lady Ember? You don’t smell like Lady Ember,”

“Because she reeks. You can barely smell the wolf on her. When was she last time you bathed?”

Sasa looked at them confused. “Why would I have seen Lady Ember? Can you two smell Lady Eirwen? You never met her when she came by the house,”

“You’re wearing a wolf dress, mama,” Astrid pointed out.

Sasa looked down and noticed for the first time that she was wearing a wolven gown. She looked at Dagrim and tilted her head. He nodded.

“It was a gift from Eirwen and Sebastian. She thought you would like it better than the rags you were wearing,” Dagrim explained.

“What about my coat? The long green one?”

“Leo told us to keep it. He’s carrying it for you,”

“Who is Leo, you ignored that question,” Ragnar asked.

Sasa laid her head back on Astrid’s and went back to petting her hair. “Do you two remember when we met, I told you I lost a pup?”

“Yes,” Astrid admitted.

“I lost him close to the time he was ready to be born anyway. Gido, grandpa Sköll and papa thought they found him and brought him home to bury so I could say good bye when they got to bring me home. I found out it was all a trick. The evil man who seems to enjoy capturing and torturing me stole the child from me and raised it as his own. He named him Leo, but he is my son. Fenris and I both tasted his blood, and he even looks like papa,”

“So, you don’t need us anymore, you have your real kid,” Ragnar growled.