CHAPTER 100 – REAL HELL

POV: ADAM

I enter the room, and there they are, both of them. Yara steps out to check on Micael, and for a moment, I find happiness in knowing that my friend has someone special in his life.

But guilt is consuming me right now. However, she needs me. I take a deep breath and approach the bed, gently taking her hand.

"I need you to forgive me... for not protecting them. I felt powerless, couldn't do anything. I can't bear the thought of losing her," - I plead, the fear of losing someone so dear resonating in every word.

She looks at me, her eyes filled with understanding and empathy.

"Adam, it's not your fault. I should have..."

I interrupt her, letting the emotions show.

"Don't say that! I promised him I would protect her. She was your sister, and you did everything you could out of love. Don't blame yourself for loving and trying to save. I'll understand if, after all this, you don't want to face me anymore. But if you give me a chance, I'll stand by your side. We'll do things differently, I'll take care of you."

POV: DAVINA

I feel pain, fear, and despair.... However, when I look at Adam, I remember everything we've been through. I won't leave him, our love is a unique connection. He's suffering as much as I am, and in him, I find a glimmer of hope and support.

"Mon Amour, I'm not going anywhere!" - I try to muster a faint smile.

I see a sigh of relief escape from his lips, followed by a kiss and an embracing hug.

"We'll overcome this together." - He declares.

A half-smile appears on my face, although the word "overcome" seems almost unreachable and distant. I know I'm fortunate to have him by my side, even though we're not perfect. It's us, imperfect but united. After questioning the world so much, I understand now that we're stronger this way. Our love isn't something to avoid, but to be lived.

Adam kisses me once again.

"I love you!"

"I love you too!"

Then, noises of turmoil and shouts invade the space outside the door. Adam looks at me, and I grip his hand tightly. With his assistance, I rise slowly, and together we walk to investigate the source of the commotion.

After the scare that Micael gave us, the atmosphere returns to normal... Well, normal doesn't seem like the right word. How can something normalize when it never was normal? How can we just leave behind everything we've experienced, as if it were just a nightmare?

I let out a sigh...

Lost in my thoughts, I'm not sure if it's the effect of hormones or grief... I feel distant, lost in a whirlwind of emotions. I'm angry at myself for the intensity of my love and my naivety.

Is it wrong to feel sadness for my sister's death? Or am I a heartless murderer for taking her life?

Or worse yet, for not acting coldly sooner and preventing her from taking my daughter's life?

My thoughts are in chaos, a mixture of emotions. Adam had to leave, something related to council matters. And later... well, someone had to inform my father about what happened.

It was painful, I had to revisit all the details Angel had revealed about our childhood, her plans with Ethan and Filipe. I have no idea what to expect from my father's reaction. And honestly, I don't have the strength to deal with it now.

Adam assured that nothing bad would happen to me, but the worst harm he can't protect me from is my own mind...

GUILT, ANGER, and REMORSE!

These three words echo incessantly in my mind, defining my current state.

Yara enters the room, wearing a radiant smile, and her light presence brings a bit of peace.

"Good morning, Soeur. Where's the prince of darkness?" - Yara jests.

"Adam? He went to the council and later... Well, Bruce needs to be informed about what happened to his daughter." - My voice lowers.

"I know we haven't touched on the subject, but... do you plan to have a funeral for her? I heard Dom requested Angel's body to be preserved in case you want to give her a burial."

I take a deep breath, preparing to face reality.

"Yara, is it wrong for me to desire a proper burial for someone who took something so precious from me? Am I that crazy?"

Yara approaches, sits on the edge of the bed facing me, and gently holds my hand.

"You have the most kind and loving heart, Davina. I've always seen you as a light. It's not madness to want to give a respectful farewell to someone who was once your sister. She passed away in suffering, without fully grasping her own actions. Unfortunately, the burden of understanding fell entirely on you. It's not wrong to provide closure to her journey with decency. It shows that, despite all your pain, your integrity is stronger than any indignation or anger. And you know what?"

"What?" I inquire.

"I envy your strength, and I admire you for it."

A fleeting smile escapes my lips, even though I don't consider myself worthy of admiration.

"I know that your charming smile will return soon. Feel the pain for as long as you need; I'll be here by your side through every step of this process. And when you rise again, I want to see the true Davina I know: the brave, the fearless, the affectionate, the playful, the courageous. My Soeur, you're destined for great things and to find your happiness."

"I wish I had half the certainty you do." I look away, lowering my head.

"I see that strength in you, you just need to see it in yourself. Either way, I'll be by your side, sticking around like a tick."

I playfully squeeze her hand. Yara is a true friend.

"So, how is Micael doing?"

Yara smiles in a silly and endearing way.

"Much better. He won't stop with the lame jokes."

"So, his lungs are fully recovered."

"Absolutely, he talks non-stop." I confirm with a smile.

"You forgave him, then?"

"I don't think I ever truly blamed him for what happened. He was more of an escape from my frustration. And from that, I've made two important decisions."

"Really? What are they?"

She shifts uncomfortably, avoiding eye contact.

"What are you up to?" I question, noticing the change in her posture.

"I want to learn to fight and to shoot."

"What? You want to join the training? Are you out of your mind? No, that's not happening." I assert firmly.

"Friend, this isn't your decision to make. I need this, I need to be strong. I can't live at the mercy of news, powerless to protect those I love."

I take a deep breath, understanding her perspective but deeply concerned about the risks of training.

"Yara, only one in ten people comes back alive from those trainings. You know that. I can't bear to lose anyone else. I know I'm being selfish... but I can't lose you either."