Chapter 58

“Tyler.” She tenderly turned his face toward hers. “It’s okay. Your father and I love you…and Ward. It’s your happiness, yours and his, we’re concerned about. Right now both of you seem terribly miserable. Talk to me. Maybe I can help.”

Tyler began to talk. Once he did, it all came tumbling out—the years of hiding who he really was, the fear of exposure, the fear of what people would think, what they, his mom and dad, would think, and his attempts at making it work with Ward this time. “…And I thought it was going to work. I was feeling like we could make a go of it. Then Eddie and Jack…” He broke off.

“The name calling and the fight?” his mother asked.

Tyler heaved a sigh. “Yes. When I decided I wanted a life with Ward, I didn’t think through how our being together could have this kind of impact on the boys. They don’t deserve to have to face the bigotry and hatred because of me. I can’t be that selfish. I wanna be with Ward, but not at their expense.”

His mother took him in her arms and held him. “That’s very noble of you, and I love you for it. But don’t you think you shouldbe taking Jack and Eddie into consideration in all this?”

Tyler pulled back and looked at his mother questioningly.

“They love Ward, you know. They already look at him as part of your family. They’ve told me they’re worried that you and Ward have had a fight—that they might lose him. Have you asked them how they’d feel if you and Ward stopped seeing each other?”

This hit Tyler hard. He hadn’t thought that the boys might be aware that something was wrong between him and Ward. He hadn’t taken into account how deep Jack and Eddie’s feelings for Ward might be, or how they viewed their relationship to him. How could he have been so blind?

“If you’re going to break things off with Ward, they have the right to know—and know why.”

With his mother’s words echoing in his mind, Tyler shifted back to the present as he pulled his truck up in front of his house. He looked over his shoulder at his sons. They were both awake after all. When they saw he was looking at them, they smiled.

“Let’s go in. We need to talk

* * * *

After Tyler had the boys get ready for bed, he called them to come and sit with him in the living room. Tyler sat in the big overstuffed chair with Jack on his lap. Eddie sat on the arm of the chair, straddling it as if riding a horse, an arm around his dad’s shoulders.

Tyler looked at his sons. Jack was contentedly curled up on his lap and Eddie was looking at him with a guarded expression, as if expecting bad news.

Taking a deep breath and clearing his throat, Tyler began. “Your gramma tells me you’re worried about me and Ward.”

They both started talking at once, Jack looking up into Tyler’s face and Eddie turning toward him.

“Yeah, we are. Are you and Ward mad at each other?” Jack asked.

“What’s going on?” Eddie chimed in.

“Well, it’s kinda complicated and could be hard for you to understand. Me and Ward love each other. But some folks think that love like that is wrong.”

“Yeah, like that dufus Tommy Erlich and his dad,” Eddie said.

“Yes, people like them,” Tyler agreed. “So I think it’s better if me and Ward don’t spend so much time together.”

Both the boys looked as if Tyler had just told them there would never be another Christmas.

Eddie removed his arm from Tyler’s shoulder. “It’s because I beat Tommy up, ain’t it?”

Tyler hesitated. “Yes and no. It’s not so much that you fought with Tommy, but that you felt you hadto fight with him because me and Ward are…”

“Gay?” Eddie finished Tyler’s sentence.

“Yes, that, but more because we were trying to be honest about our relationship. People might think it’s all right for men to be…gay…but when they see men together like me and Ward are…well…they don’t like it and that’s when bad things can happen.”

“But why does that mean you and Ward ain’t gonna see each other as much? You ain’t afraid of what dumb guys like Tommy and his dad think are you?” Eddie asked.

“We’re not afraid for ourselves,” Tyler said, although if the full truth be told he was somewhat afraid of what people would think of him. “But I amafraid that you boys will have problems because of us.”

“Ain’t we gonna be able to see Ward no more?” Jack asked.