Chapter 19

"For now, I will give you some medicines for her, Mr. Ranawat. But she cannot be taking these for long, especially if she loves children so much because they reduce the chances of conceiving and eventually you will have to make a choice if you want to erase her pain short-term or long-termly," remarked the psychologist, typing the names of medicines in the prescription.

"There is no mid-way, isn't it?" asked Arjun solemnly as the gravity of the situation and his position as the decision maker hit him hard.

"There isn't. Whatever you do, you will have to face some complicated consequences for sure. There is no free exit, I am afraid," she replied with a sad smile on her lips as she felt her heart going out for the two people caught in the whirlwind which they had created but not out of their own free will.

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Three Weeks Later, "For how long will you cheat me, Mr. Ranawat?" questioned Jyotsna, staring at the back of his head in such an intense manner that he felt holes being bored and waves of guilt breaking him from within.

"I don't understand what you mean, Jyotsna," he retorted, not turning towards her but his hands stopping to mix her milk for the night.

"You think I would not understand that you are mixing sedatives in my milk every night? I might not be a doctor or someone as smart as you but do not insult my common sense by thinking that you can keep me in dark forever," she spat, forcing him to turn towards her through her words and the tone.

"I was left with no other choice," he started, only to be cut in between the woman listening to him.

"You are leaving me with no choice too, Mr. Ranawat, but to give up on relationships and children forever. Are you ready to take the responsibility of the void I will experience throughout life? Can you bear the burden of the fact that you are the reason why I turned into a living corpse?" she questioned, the hollowness in her eyes sucking out every bit of his peace and composure like a blackhole.

"Jyotsna.."

I feel what she truly craves is having a choice and someone to call as hers. She would be getting both if you decide to have a child.........

"Is it really what you want? Confirm for one last time and I promise that I won't cheat you," pleaded Arjun, steeling his nerves for the woman who had instilled a living force in him.

Jyotsna's breath stuck in her lungs momentarily as her eyes forgot how to blink. It was not till the tears in her eyes forced the upper lid to touch the lower one and darkness filled her senses when the realization took place that the ball was in her court, finally, for the first time in her life.

Her morals dictated her that the first man to occupy her heart, touch her body and unite with her soul would also be the last one and her self-respect could not let someone sacrifice for her but what was a mother's love if not blind. The emotions which once laid on the highest pedestal for her, mattered no more, after all a mother wanted to correct her mistake and erase her guilt by bringing in a new life and she was determined to do it.

"Yes," she answered, looking straight into his eyes, undauntedly, a feat not many could have claimed to have achieved.

The slight spark of hope in him that he would be able to escape the situation had extinguished with Jyotsna's answer. He felt an unknown fear form in his heart because he knew that there was no going back after he stepped forward - they would have a child together and only fate knew what it felt in store for them.

"I have a condition for you. I can only accept your demand if you accept my request," he demanded, inching closer to her as she stared at him with lifeless eyes. How he wished to bring the zest and zing back into those eyes which held sarcasm, courage, compassion and love; every emotion he held to be the most prized emotions.

"I am ready to do anything you say," she replied, her tone, despite being calm, was hitched and shaky, signing towards her inner turmoil.

"At least listen to my condition before accepting it," he prompted, settling down beside her on the bed and facing her as he applied stress relief lotion on her palms in the way prescribed by the doctor.

"Shoot it," she said, stopping him from massaging her palms and forcing him to look into her eyes.

"This will be a one-time thing. If you don't conceive tonight, and you still want a child, we will go for artificial insemination, but we will not repeat the happenings of tonight," propositioned Arjun, sighing deeply, unable to think of a better way to phrase his condition.

"It must be tough for you, isn't it? You must be used to spending nights with top models and here you are stuck with a sick middle-class lady who is using emotional blackmail, your most hated emotion?" she mocked, the flicker of life coming back to her hazel orbs.

Arjun could not decide if he was to feel happy that he was a step closer to bringing back the old Jyotsna or feel angry that she was deriding him.

"Jyotsna, it is..." Arjun Ranawat was not used to being cut across, but he could not help but bend down in front of Jyotsna's spirit.

"I understand. I felt the same when I heard this surrogacy contract. I hated rich men who thought they could buy relationships with money and even I hated emotional blackmail. But I was forced to do it, end of the day. Now I think, why should I suffer alone? I will make you my partner in this pain. I agree to your condition, Arjun Ranawat," she lashed, the life force coming back into her eyes in a way Arjun never wanted to see - hatred.

That night their bodies had surely united, but their hearts throbbed with myriads of emotions and their souls were far from being united. While Jyotsna lied like in a deep penance to obtain the desired boon, Arjun felt guilt, pain, hatred, anger, frustration and love in an exotic brew which burned into his very conscience.

Will their souls ever unite?