Chapter 31 Permanently Changed
My hand is covering my mouth as it hangs wide open. I don’t quite know what I should be doing right now. Should I run? Should I scream? Should I be scared?
The wolf takes a step forwards bringing it right in front of me. My legs feel frozen, trapping me in front of it, even though deep down my brain is yelling at me to run, to save myself.
The wolf leans forward, bowing down in front of me. Not that it does anything to make it look smaller, but it lies down, putting his head on his front paws directly in front of me.
I know I should be terrified right now, but I’m not. I do feel a bit of fear at the large wolf in front of me. The natural fear that this animal could kill me in a second, but I’m not terrified. I stay still, keeping my promise to him. I’m not going to run away. I look into its eyes, my heart almost stopping when I see Alec’s eyes looking back at me.
“You’re a werewolf,” I whisper more to myself than him.
He’s telling the truth. My brain is struggling to understand it all, but it’s hard to deny it any longer when he is bowing down right in front of me as a wolf. His eyes watch me intently, looking at every little movement I make. I recognize this wolf. This is the bigger than a bigger-than-a-bear wolf I saw that night. Was it him? This whole time, it was him at my window?
I bring my hand softly to his head, his eyes following my movement, but he doesn’t stop me. I gingerly touch the top of his head, confirming that this is real. His fur is softer than anything I’ve ever felt. It’s not rough or coarse, though it looks that way. It feels like petting a stuffed animal. He lets me touch his head, moving my hand throughout the top of it, trying to wrap my head around the situation. I pull my hand back, looking over his whole extremely large body again.
“This is you, Alec?” It sounds stupid to ask, even though I saw him become this animal, but I have to ask.
His head raises, nudging my hand softly with his nose. It’s really him. I don’t know what else to say or do, and he seems to realize that. He gets up slowly, trying not to scare me off. He trots back to the lawn chair, where I notice a pile of clothes now sits.
I hear his bones snapping again, looking down quickly when I catch a glimpse of his naked, panting form. I hear rustling as he quickly puts on his clothes. I look up when I hear his footsteps coming closer to me.
He’s back in his outfit he was wearing. He looks at me very concerned, and I don’t blame him. I would be worried I would run away, hell, I haven’t fully made up my mind if I am going to run away.
“Do you believe me now?”
I nod, looking at his human body standing before me, a stark contrast to the large wolf.
“I know it’s a lot to take in, that’s why I didn’t want to tell you right away.”
“You were the wolf I asked about?”
He nods sheepishly. “Yeah, I was trying to figure out who you were. You weren’t supposed to see me.”
My brain reels at the memory of his whole speech, which I had previously blocked out.
“Cassie is a werewolf, too?”
He nods.
“And you told her to be my friend so you could orchestrate a meeting?”
He nods again.
It stings to know that Cassie didn’t approach Beth or me on her own. It makes me question our whole friendship. It hurts to realize it may not be true that it was just some ploy to get Alec and me together.
“But why me?”
That’s one thing I still can’t understand. Why would he and Cassie seek me out?
“Did you stalk me and plan on us meeting this whole time and dating?” I speak again before he can answer.
“I know how it may look, but I had no intention of stalking or dating you. I thought you might’ve had something to do with another pack member's death, but I was wrong, and when we met that night at the party, I realized who you are to me.” He ends cryptically.
That just makes me even more confused. What am I to him that would’ve made him want to get with me? I thought he was supposed to be fully honest with me.
“What do you mean, ‘who I am to you’?” I make quotations with my fingers.
He doesn’t meet my eyes, instead looking around. He’s nervous to say the truth again. This raises my defenses, worried he’s going to drop a big bomb like being a werewolf.
“We have this gift, well, sometimes it’s more like a curse. But we have a soulmate. There is someone out there perfectly made for us, and we are perfectly made for them. It’s like being in love but so much deeper.” He pauses.
“So I’m your soulmate?” It feels weird to talk about something I once thought was simply a myth.
“Yes, when we met that night, our eyes met, and I knew right then and there. It’s like my whole world came together, and it starts and ends with you and you only. You felt it too, didn’t you?”
I did feel close to him from the moment we met, but I didn’t think it was because of some soulmate connection. For the sake of honesty, I nod my head.
“You’re human, so you don’t feel it as strongly as I do, but I know you can feel it somewhat. That’s why it hurts you to be away from me, that’s why you fell in love with me so quickly.”
It makes more sense why I have been so madly in love with him, why I almost physically hurt when we were fighting. But it raises the concern that he’s talking as if we don’t have a choice in the matter. Was our relationship planned to happen whether I wanted it to or not?
“So I have a deep connection with you, whether I like it or not? I don’t have a choice. How is that fair?” I voice my concerns, not missing the way his face drops.
“You always have a choice. You can reject me at any point. I’ve heard it’s the worst pain in the world, but it’s your choice nonetheless. I love you, Anneliese, with or without the soulmate bond, and I will love you for the rest of my time. Nothing could take me away from you.”
I hear the sincerity behind his words, but it’s just a lot to take in right now.
“Can I go sit down?” I ask, needing to soak this in.
I guess my gut was right.
Our relationship has just permanently changed.