Chapter 36 XXXVI.
"I’m a horrible person. There’s no other explanation for what I’ve just done. I’ll be getting married to Alessandra soon, yet I cheated on her with her brother twice. There’s no doubt about it. I really am a horrible person.”
Alessandro, who had just finished putting on his clothes, came to sit beside me. I felt his weight pressing into the couch, but I refused to look at him. I can’t look at him right now. Not after what I’ve done.
By now, there’s no way I can lie that I don’t have feelings for Alessandro. It’s as clear as day, and there’s no use denying it anymore. Alessandro knows this too, which is why he took my hand in his and held it firmly. But I still refused to look at him because I really didn’t want to be reminded of my stupidity.
“Rowan,” Alessandro’s deep, gentle voice called my name.
The sound almost forced me to break down in tears, but I held it in.
“Rowan, please look at me,” he pleaded in a broken tone.
I looked at him and saw the sadness in his eyes. I saw the pain and misery. Alessandro was suffering as much as I was.
“I don’t want to hurt your sister, Sandro. If she finds out about this…”
“Calm down, Rowan,” he said, tracing circles on my knuckles with his thumbs. “She’ll get hurt either way. If you get married to her while pretending to love her, she’ll hate you more. So you have to tell her the truth.”
“And what truth will I tell her? That I was sleeping with you behind her back, or that I don’t love her?”
He looked me straight in the eye and said with utter confidence, “You’ll tell her the truth—that I’m the one you want.”
His words sent a shiver down my spine because I knew he was right. I’ve never wanted anyone or anything as much as I wanted him. These feelings I have for him are like poison spreading through my veins. I have no idea how to stop them from overcoming my senses.
I looked away from Alessandro’s piercing gaze that kept challenging me to deny the words he had just said.
“Whatever I feel for you is not worth losing Mr. Ricci’s trust and respect. I told you before that your grandfather made me the man I am today. I can’t disobey his orders.”
He scoffed. "I am amazed at how foolish you sound, Rowan. Just because Grandfather helped you doesn’t mean you should live in unhappiness for the rest of your life.”
“If that’s the price I have to pay for living a good life, then so be it.”
Alessandro let go of my hand, but I resisted the urge to look at him because I feared what expression might be on his face. I hated seeing him mad at me.
“I’m not giving up, Rowan.”
The unexpected words made me look up at him. There was a determined look on his face. He wasn’t mad.
“I’m going to fight for you because I know you feel the same way for me. I’m going to show you that Grandfather isn’t worth your respect.”
With that, he stood up and left my office.
I sighed and ran a hand over my face. Deep down, I loved the fact that Alessandro wasn’t giving up on me, but this just kept getting more and more complicated.
Tina popped her head in, looking confused when she saw me seated on the couch with my head in my hands.
“Are you okay, sir?” she asked.
I cleared my throat and nodded. “I’m fine, Tina. Any problems?”
“Not really. I just wanted to let you know that I have canceled your meeting for this morning, and Mr. Ricci called to remind you of tonight’s dinner. He said he couldn’t reach your phone.”
My heart fell. That was the dinner where the engagement party would be announced.
It would have been easier if I had just told Alessandro that I wouldn’t have to marry Alessandra if he took over the company. But I didn’t want to be selfish. Alessandro deserved to live his own life as he pleased.
Why can’t I just accept my fate?
\---
I arrived at the Ricci mansion holding a bouquet of flowers. Carrying the guilt of what I’d done made me decide to do something nice and sweet for Alessandra. I knew it wouldn’t undo the stupid decisions I’d made, but at least it would help me feel a bit better.
Anna was the one who opened the door for me. It had been a while since I last saw her.
She smiled a smile that looked false. She had been like that for a while.
“Hi, Anna,” I greeted.
Her eyes fell on the bouquet of roses in my hands, and her smile disappeared.
“Hi,” she replied curtly. “Come with me.”
She led me toward the dining room where the Riccis were probably waiting for me.
They were already seated at the table when we came in. Mr. Ricci was at the head of the table, with Alessandro and Alessandra on either side.
Both pairs of eyes fell on me the moment I entered, and I tried my hardest not to look in Alessandro’s direction, lest I get weak in the knees and give myself away. Instead, I focused on my fiancée, Alessandra.
Her eyes lit up and she gave a big smile. She stood up and came to my side.
“Rowan!” She stared at the flowers in my hands and then at me. “Are these for me?”
I nodded and stretched them out to her. "Here, for the most beautiful woman in the world.”
I heard a scoff—obviously from Alessandro—but I ignored him and kept my eyes on Alessandra.
“Aww, thank you so much, Rowan.” She took the flowers, kissed my cheek, and then linked her arm with mine. She pulled me toward the dining table to join her grandfather and brother.
“Good evening, Mr. Ricci,” I greeted respectfully.
He gave me a curt nod in reply. He still wasn’t happy that I couldn’t convince Alessandro to be his heir. I had given up completely.
I couldn’t ignore Alessandro no matter how much I wanted to because that would only arouse suspicion. So I greeted him.
“Hi, Alessandro.”
He stared intensely at me for a second. His gaze was cold and unwavering. The way he was looking at me almost made me lose control on the spot, but I held myself back so I wouldn’t do anything stupid.
“Hi,” he said curtly, then looked away.
We all sat down, and after the food had been served, Mr. Ricci began.
“So, the reason for this dinner is because I have something important to announce.”
We all paid attention to him. My heart was pounding so fast because I knew what he was going to announce, and I dreaded Alessandro’s reaction.
“Rowan and I discussed it, and we’ve come to a conclusion that his engagement with Alessandra will be in three days. After the engagement, the wedding will happen three days later.”
“Really!” Alessandra exclaimed excitedly.
She sounded very happy, and I tried my best to maintain a smile and also not look at Alessandro. I really didn’t want to see the look on his face.
Mr. Ricci smiled proudly at his granddaughter.
“Yes, Sandra. You’ll be getting married in six days, so I’ve already called some decorators to begin preparations.”
She squealed and stood up from her chair to hug her grandfather.
“Thank you so much, Grandpa! I love you so much!”
She kissed his cheek, and he chuckled. Then she returned to her seat beside me and grabbed my hands in hers.
“Did you hear that, Rowan? We’re getting married in six days!”
My heart clenched.
“I’m glad.”
“I’m so freaking happy as well.”
She leaned in and kissed me passionately. For some reason, my eyes went to Alessandro while her lips were on mine, and I found him watching us with a thunderous expression on his face. He looked angry, sad, irritated, and disappointed all at once.
I tried not to let it get to me.
Alessandra pulled away.
“I can’t wait to tell all my friends. I’ll invite everyone I’m close to and—”
The scraping of a chair against the floor cut off her excited rant. We all looked at Alessandro, who had just stood up.
“I’m full,” he said coldly. “I’ll be in my room.”
He turned and stomped away, leaving everyone except me stunned.
“What got a stick up his butthole?” Alessandra wondered. Then she shook her head.
“Well, I don’t care. Nothing is going to ruin this day for me.”