Chapter 16 XVI.
I walked out of Alessandra's room, feeling devastated and slightly frustrated at myself. It revolts me to think that I lie straight to her face without considering her feelings. I even went as far as kissing her even while knowing that I didn't love her.
The kiss wasn't bad, but it was disappointing. It's nothing like I expected. But that doesn't necessarily mean that I have feelings for Alessandro just because I don't like kissing Alessandra. I bet the more time I spend with her, the more I'll get more comfortable with her kisses eventually. I did get turned on at some point when she kept kissing me, so I'm guessing things will work out.
As I headed out of the house and towards my car, I came across Alessandro seated there on the short steps.
My breath caught in my throat when I saw him. He was wearing a grey tank top and his usual shorts while sipping on a bottle of alcohol. His tattoos seem to glow brighter under the outdoor lights, and he looks completely breathtaking.
"Are you just going to stare at me?" He asked without even looking at me.
I snapped out of my daze, shocked that he knew I was standing right there, and he didn't even see me.
"O... oh no, I was just about to leave." I rushed out in a flustered tone.
"Did you have a good time with my sister?"
His question threw me off, and I found myself blushing madly. Why did he ask me that? Does he know what his sister and I were doing behind closed doors? Does he hate me for it?
Wait, it's not possible that he knows what's went on between Alessandra and I in her room. Maybe he's just asking how our time went.
"Well, yeah. I... I mean, we had a good time." I cringed at my own words. Why did it come out so wrong?
"I figured as much." He said bitterly as he gulped down a huge sip from his bottle of alcohol.
I tried not to flinch at his tone. I thought we were over the thought of me hurting Alessandra. I know for sure that he's just being possessive of her, and I understand that. He probably doesn't want his sister to be with just anyone.
I felt like I had to clear that up for Alessandro once again. "Alessandro, you know I'm not going to hurt Alessandra, right? And I'll never do anything to disrespect her."
He rolled his eyes at me. "I know that, Rowan. Alessandra is not a kid. She knows what she wants and what she doesn't want." He looked at me then, and I saw something in his eyes that made my heart break as he said. "I can see that she likes you a lot. So there's nothing for me to worry about."
I gulped, feeling more and more guilty with each second that passes by. If Alessandra truly likes me that much, then there's going to be a lot of trouble.
I don't love her. There's no way out for me anymore. If I convinced Alessandro to take over the company, Alessandra would get hurt for sure, and Alessandro would only end up hating me for hurting his sister.
Is it worth it? Should I just marry Alessandra and take over so that everyone can be happy in the end? But I don't want to be tied down to such a responsibility.
Tired of so much overthinking, I decided to just go home and rest. I've had a long day, and my chaotic life is already giving me a headache.
"Uh. Yeah. I think I have to go home. I'll see you tomorrow at the office Alessandro."
I made it walk past him, but his words stopped me. "Can you sit with me for some minutes?" He lifted up his bottle of wine. "We can share my drink."
Warning bells rang in my ears, and every reasonable side of my brain told me to walk away, but every cell in my body drew me to him. I shouldn't want to, but I found myself longing to be close to him, to be in his presence.
Despite every part of me that told me to leave, I found myself walking towards him and taking a seat beside him on the stairs.
The look on the face was one of pleasant surprise. It made my heart flutter. I avoided his eyes and stretched out my hand for the bottle. "You promised to share."
He smirked that stupid smirk that got my heart pounding so fast like it was going to pump out of my chest. He stretched out the bottle to me, and I took it and took a sip.
I avoided drinking too much because I'm a really lightweight. I can get really drunk after two glasses of beer.
Alessandro scoffed. "You call that a drink?"
I sighed and passed the drink back to him. "So, why are you here all alone? Shouldn't you be inside at this hour?"
He shrugged and took another sip of his drink. I tried not to swoon at the way his arms flexed as he lifted the bottle to his lips.
Why is everything he does so attractive?
"I'm just thinking. At this point in my life, I'm not sure of what I want anymore."
Curious about what he means, I asked. "What do you mean?"
He looked at me with hazy eyes, and my breath hitched at those beautiful eyes on me. "I used to love travelling. I've always wanted to travel the world, but now I don't know if that's what I want anymore."
"So, what do you want then?"
He stared at me intensely for a long moment, and I could feel the tension in the air. For a second, his eyes flickered to my lips, and my eyes mirrored his as they trail down to his own lips. They look so full and kissable. Just the thought of those lips on mine makes me feel like I was about to combost. I didn't feel like this when I kissed Alessandra earlier.
Finally, Alessandra spoke. "I... I'm not sure anymore, Rowan. I thought I didn't want my father's company but..." He paused and took another sip of his wine. "I don't really know."
"Are you having second thoughts?" I asked as softly as I could.
He stared at me for an intense moment before replying. "I don't know. Should I take over my Grandpa's company, even though what I really want is to travel the world?"
I tried not to panic at the fact that he just asked me for advice. I have to make sure to give him the best answer.
"You seem so reluctant back then. What changed?" I asked out of curiosity.
I watched his Adam's apple pop up and down as he gulped nervously before drowning another quantity of his beer. "I don't know, but I kind of like my time at the company now, but I still love the idea of travelling the world."
"Well, you can fulfil both dreams." He tilted his head in confusion, and I went on to explain what I meant. "As president of Ricci's enterprise, Mr Ricci doesn't always have to come to the office. As the CEO, he put me in charge of handling his meetings, appointments, paperwork, and a lot more. You can do the same. As president, you can do what you want while I handle everything at work."
He smiled that genuine smile. The one I love so much. "If you love work so much, why don't you just take over the company? Grandfather wants you too, doesn't he?"
I shook my head slowly. I don't want to tell him, but I felt the need to. "It's not my place, Alessandro. You're Mr Ricci's grandson, and he really wants you as his heir, but I'm just an orphan guy that he picked up from the orphanage. Frankly speaking, I don't want such responsibility on my shoulders. It would be too much."
There was silence after my short speech, and when I looked at Alessandro, he was looking right at me, deep into my eyes. In a manner that made me nervous.
"You're a lot more modest than I thought." He leaned closer, and my heart pounded in my ears. "You're too different from what I expected. You're nothing like my Grandpa." He whispered.
Someone was leaning closer. I wasn't sure if it was me or if it was Alessandro, but in a second, our faces were moving close to each other. My cheeks turned red, and I was having a panic attack right now.
Right there in front of the Ricci's mansion, Alessandro Ricci was about to kiss me, and I was about to let him. But I saw the red lights flashing in my head, warning me to avoid any danger that was rapidly coming my way.
In a flash, I was standing up and putting a reasonable distance between the two of us. Alessandro watched me as if he was just recovering from a trance.
I shifted on my feet, not knowing what to do with myself. The air was suddenly too stuffy, and I wanted nothing more but to get the hell out of here.
"Uh... th-thanks for the drink Alessandro. I think it's time I head home." I didn't wait for a reply as I ran away from Alessandro's burning stare.
I could feel the heat flowing all over my body. I can't believe I almost allowed Alessandro to kiss me just after kissing Alessandra in her room.
What the hell is wrong with me?
Why am I making my life messier than it already is?